Mailice here with a short review!
It's a bit difficult to adequately review your work, as it seems to me like a beautiful memory that you are internalising here, trying to portray it in the most lyrical way.
You've definitely succeeded in that. It's a great pleasure to jump from line to line, and to be taken to a new description or partial metaphor. It seems like a joyful time that you want to immortalise here and you portray it with a pleasant tone.
We play tag while our joyful shouts weave into a sonata played by an instrument that melts all of our trivial worries and frustrations.
I really like how you set up the noise and the playing as a musical metaphor at the beginning, and it works the way you described it. I think you create one of the best paraphrases in your text. I especially like the way you use "trivial" in the second half, which again shows that these are children.
Whether or not is ignites cannot always be determined but sometimes their eyes brighten, their faces relax and they open the curtains.
It is a very interesting description that you have created here, and I find it very original because of that. It stands out from all the others and is therefore special.
They put their hands under their chins and watch as our bare feet turn green with dewy grass while the sky turns orange and then becomes an ombré of yellow, green, and blue.
When I first read this sentence, I thought this was a recipe because it sounded like one to me. You have a great way of putting it so that it is always refreshing, no matter where one is in your work. You put a lot of effort into it!
And I’ll never forget the sound of the men's laughter, my grandpa’s deep voice, the women comforting frustrated children, my grandma sighing at the “adult boys” when they told less than appropriate jokes and even at the mildest of swear words all the while innocently giggling, and our happy screams when we almost got tagged all at once.
Again, I like how you build and build the sentence. At the beginning I found the sentence a bit too long (and maybe still now), and I think this is the only weak point in the text, because you actually set yourself up to encounter sentences like the previous ones, and here you are intimidating the reader. I can understand why it should be presented that way, but I also think that maybe you could rewrite it to make the sentence into two or three smaller sentences.
In summary, a very interesting, and lively piece!
Have fun writing!