This is exactly what I am feeling. I loved it!
I really liked "..will you hold me like you used to?"
Keep going.
When I'm old and greying,
and my hands stumble as I grasp
the pages of my old diary,
along with faded photographs of us,
will you always take care of me?
When the dust in my lungs awakens
and my fingers fumble with
every movement that makes
my bones rattle softly,
will you promise to be there for me?
When I sift through memories
and look around at the life
that we built together,
ups and downs, rises and falls,
will you hold me like you used to?
When I trace over my wrinkled skin,
whispers of scars, and sagging tattoos,
and I exhale, once young yet
still so unstable,
will you remind me that you love me?
This is exactly what I am feeling. I loved it!
I really liked "..will you hold me like you used to?"
Keep going.
Hello Remington38 here for a reveiw : )
I am slowly falling in love with poetry for things like this. You are an amazing poetry and you are so graceful with words and knowing what to say. You tap this hopefulness and questioning emotion that plagues a lot of us as people. The imagery in the last stanza just tied it all together and I feel like I can picture it now because without that last stanza it would feel distant and not within the readers grasp completely. You picked the perfect words like "sifting" and it is a absolutely beautiful poem. I adore the emotions behind it. I will definitely be reading more by you, you are a wonderful poet!
have a wonderful night/day!!Hello Remington38 here for a reveiw : )
I am slowly falling in love with poetry for things like this. You are an amazing poetry and you are so graceful with words and knowing what to say. You tap this hopefulness and questioning emotion that plagues a lot of us as people. The imagery in the last stanza just tied it all together and I feel like I can picture it now because without that last stanza it would feel distant and not within the readers grasp completely. You picked the perfect words like "sifting" and it is a absolutely beautiful poem. I adore the emotions behind it. I will definitely be reading more by you, you are a wonderful poet!
Hey! I think this was a beautiful poem and I love the form of it because I thought it really flowed. It was a superb poem and I found a lot of emotion but not a lot of personal connection. I mean when I think of poetry I think it as very personal. Other than that it was an awesome poem and I hope to see more. Keep writing <3
Sarah24
It's wonderfully heart wrenching. I love the last paragraph the most, it wraps it up so nicely. Keep writing!
very beautiful. I can relate to this poem, keep writing you are wonderful at it.
Hi! Thought I'd drop in for a quick review.
First of all, your poem is, you know...so poetic. Everything about this work of yours is superb, from the use of the appropriate words at the right time to your quality of being able to express yourself through words and sencentences. The last line, or rather, question, at the end of each stanza made the message of the poem very powerful. The numerous imaginations of yours as to what might happen to your mind and physique as you grow old made it easier for the reader to visualize in front of his or her eyes the changes which will occur to you with the passage of time. The lyrical and emotional qualities of the poem were excellent and I didn't notice any grammatical errors either.
The lines in this poem which I liked the most were the following:
"and I exhale, once young yet
still so unstable,
will you remind me that you love me?"
These lines reflect the ocean of nostalgia into which an old person drowns from time to time. Questioning your lover's love for you, regardless of the changes time and circumstances might bring and giving your partner the assurance of unconditional love from your side makes this poem more romantic and nice to read. You are an excellent writer. Keep up the good work!
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