Hello,
Honestly this poem was the first of the few i have read that truly tugged at my hearts with a true and strong effect. This is a topic many people can feel, and not just on the end of your view but also on the view that the person that is broken. Well done truly expressing emotion and bringing your reader in to the piece of writing. Love the "intertwining hands, interlocking fingers" portion of the piece because it is vivid and easy to relate to.
With all free verse you have a little more leeway in terms of structure so I feel like although yes structurally it isn't a 100% you are allowed to have a bit of a relaxed sense so that the emotions truly are expressed. It sometimes comes at a cost to have a structure that is followed to the dot, free verse lets you be yourself and have your own voice shown to the world.
Overall i thoroughly enjoyed this piece and would recommend keeping with the idea of free verse but tidying up is always allowed. Enjoy the process that is the main thing for writing if you get lost in the structure you lose the effect you want to have on people.
Have a good day or evening
Points: 109
Reviews: 4
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