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12+

stuck in the hanger

by queenshadowgem


stepping onto another landing,

the plane comes in and starts explaining why

i could never fly with it, and then lifts off again

in it's arrogance it crashes,

but its ghost comes back to the landing

just to haunt me. it disgraces me

misplacing me, trying to put me in my place.

it tells me how if i flew, since i was unworthy,

my passengers would die deaths worse than those of it's crew...

so i step back and i don't fly,

my engine is stalled...

somber days and somber nights pass by,

but i won't fly and that's simply nothing new.

because i'm afraid that a single word from that old plane

might be true


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59 Reviews


Points: 71
Reviews: 59

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Wed May 05, 2021 4:18 am
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Buranko wrote a review...



Hi gem, here after seeing you posted something that I love to review (poetry). This is one cool poem and here are my thoughts on it.

First of all I find this poem to be a little too fast paced. This isn't a bad thing if I think on what is behind. If the poem is meant to portray someone's quick thoughts it is perfect but if the poem is more on the narrative side well... The way it's moving would be too fast and won't allow most readers to get anything out of it.

I believe that this "flying" is just a metaphor on something else. Like something that is also kept from the speaker just like flying and all this stuff related to planes and flying is just a playful way to tell the feelings behind something more profound. Something related to lack of confidence. I love how you portrayed the anxiety behind the speaker's voice "afraid that a single word from that old plane/might be true". It is a nice, familiar way of explaining anxiety that is too obvious for someone not to notice.

The image of a stalled engine is also a cool one. Without an engine, days and nights are somber for the speaker. The engine can be interpreted as the will power of someone. And by using this interpretation the next lines make so much more sense. I love your poetry and the freedom it gives me as a reader. A lot of poets and poems do this freedom thing but you certainly have a more dynamic approach to it where the way you interpret is much more meaningful.

I think you have a typo, you wrote it's instead of its. Apart from that small detail great job, loved your poem!






thank you <333



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5 Reviews


Points: 287
Reviews: 5

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Wed May 05, 2021 12:47 am
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TheMythMaster wrote a review...



oook super sad, very true though (of how being scared of messing up can stop you from doing somethiing you should)

its an ok poem doesn't really roll of the tongue that well such as

i could never fly with it, and then lifts off again

in it's arrogance it crashes,

but its ghost comes back to the landing

just to haunt me.


some parts are pretty good
like
my engine is stalled...

somber days and somber nights pass by,

but i won't fly and that's simply nothing new.

because i'm afraid that a single word from that old plane

might be true


so maybe some shoring up to do, maybe you don't really care, I don't know, this is just what I thought, (I don't know a lot about poetry) but other than that its a pretty good one in my opinion.

-Myth






It's free verse... they don't have to rhyme or roll off the tongue though they can, in this case I'm going more for meaning than for being pretty. Thank you for the review though I won't lie, your review initially came off a bit brisk. XD Maybe check out some of the information threads on how to review poetry if you are foggy on the subject. Here are a few threads I find helpful:

How to poetry review

Critiquing poetry

Keep reviewing <3




That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo - and it's worth fighting for.
— Samwise Gamgee