Published December 8, 2012
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140,871 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
Hi!
I think this is really good! You're really captured the moment. Some of the words or phrases you used seemed a bit overdone, but that's just me and I hope I don't sound mean. It flows really well too, and nice ending. Wasn't expecting that and it gave the poem a good ending.
Hope I helped!
North
You just reminded me what real poetry is.
I mean, wow. The imagery is very powerful and the way you've led the reader to the last line to know 'why?' , and the way the poem takes turns with the proper words at the proper places - this is a masterpiece. This is awesome. You should write more like these. Keep that up!
P.S : What's the code tag you use for this font? ;P
I copy and pasted from Google Docs, so I'm not quite sure what code tag, but the font is Georgia.
I like the somber, pondering attitude of the protagonist; even though some of the imagery is a little overused (ie. "wind caresses you with soft fingers," etc.), you manage to break away from that enough to have your own voice. I like that it's sad without moping, almost like a hollow realization that he's gone, without the typical angst. It's just...acknowledgement, almost.
In general it just has that sad reminiscence that I will eternally love despite any cliche. This is a good poem, nothing new maybe, but still enjoyable to read. The structure and rhythm work really well and it has just the right balance of honest prose and nice poetic lines.
Keep writing!
-StoryWeaver