The parents come home late, around eleven. She can hear them stumbling around the kitchen, muttering harsh, hungover quips one minute and giggling like teenage ghouls the next. At last, she hears them trip into their bedroom and make strange sighing noises until one of them kicks the door closed and she can no longer eavesdrop.
She puts herself to bed, changing into her flowered pajamas, brushing her teeth meticulously, and going to the bathroom before bed, to make sure she doesn't have an Accident. Last time she had an Accident, her mother was angry and exhasperated. She'd said: "Why can't you just grow up, Natalie?"
Natalie had tried to answer that she thought growing up wasn't just something you can do, but something you have to be shown how to do. And her parents weren't the best in the teaching department.
She tiptoed into her bedroom, lit by a single lamp on her bedside table, the one with Mickey and Minney and Donald Duck on it. The floor of her bedroom was covered in ABC blocks, the kind little kids use to build towers and suck on instead of study the letters on each side. She steps from one blockless patch to another, weaving in and out through the jungle of letters. She climbes into bed, snuggling under the polka-dot sheets, and wraps her arms around her Teddy bear, which was appropriately named Teddy.
With the lamp off, the room was pitch dark. She'd asked her mom for a nightlight, but even after she was promised, she'd never got one. She could hear faint noises from her parent's bedroom, and she closed her eyes, trying to will herself to sleep. Had her parents come home earlier, she would have tried to tell them. Maybe they would have tucked her in themselves, try to console her, assure her it was just a dream.
Maybe it was a dream. It always happened just before she fell asleep, in that foggy state of mind when you could imagine yourself flying and believe it to be possible. It was happening now. She could hear the creaking of the floorboards under her mattress, and she knew the clawed fingers were reaching out from under the bed. She waited, then she could hear breathing. Quick, uneven breathing. Inhuman. Animal.
Her eyes could not remain closed. They opened to slits, and through the slit she could see the growing shadow, like one of those sped-up nature videos of a growing flower. Only it was bigger, growing larger, with huge, meaty arms and shaggy hair, extending up to the ceiling until -
A loud thunk as its head whacked the ceiling, and the monster howled.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: This was a nice simple little story (well not exactly a nice happy story but you know what I mean) and it does a fantastic job showing the terror from the point of view of this small girl. Definitely loved the whole idea behind it and I wish I could find out what happens next.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well that sounds like a horrid life to have to lead and its definitely setting up this story really well. I'm definitely intrigued especially by your choice of metaphor there. Its very interesting.
Those definitely don't sound like good parents.
And that word I believe is supposed to be exasperated
That's a really nice description that you've got there.
I love these emotions that you are showing here. It does a wonderful job showing the fear that this little girl must be experiencing.
Wow that's a really chilling description that you have there. The tension slowly built up is done wonderfully and it just seems really creepy. The way the monster stalks here is just very well written here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this was a really well done little story. It does a wonderful job with the simple premise that it has and that ending is just really amazing. I don't have anything that I would change about this. Great Job!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry