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I Planted a Seed

by Charm


I planted a seed
in the dark, soft dirt of my mind
and soon I had forgotten.
But leaf by stem sprouted green,
adding color to my dead garden
and though my thoughts aren't colorful
fields of flowers like his or hers
my garden is growing, for I've planted seeds,
and I'll let my lonely lost tears water them
so soon I'll have a beautiful garden, too.


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61 Reviews


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Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:55 pm
StuckOnEarth wrote a review...



Hi! Space here for a review. ^^

I know this was written a year ago, but I just thought it was so pretty that I couldn't not-write one. (Did that made sense? XD)

There's not much to say, honestly, I just think it's so beautiful and the metaphors mixed with imagery somehow forms it into a perfect little poem.
I also understand the meaning of the poem and I think it's very emotional and supportive.
"I'll let my lonely lost tears water them
so soon I'll have a beautiful garden, too." I think this line (though I might be reading it completely wrong honestly) shows that sometimes to get to good times you have to go through hard times and sometimes the hard times help you get there..? If that makes sense.

Overall, this is a wonderful poem.
Great job!

-Space




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50 Reviews


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Thu Jan 19, 2017 1:16 am
LadyShadows says...



Hey there! It's LadyShadows!
I absolutely ADORED this poem! It gave me that heavily symbolic feel to the poem. It was true though, as everyone plants seeds in their lifetime. That's how your soul grows or wilts. This was real. And beautiful. This is life. Keep writing. ♥




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126 Reviews


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Fri Dec 23, 2016 6:57 pm
Aleta says...



looking at the title i just thought of something hilarious

like the other way of planting a seed

do you get it

im so deceased right now lmao




Charm says...


(doesn't get it) yeah hahahaha xD



zaminami says...


aleta don't ruin marms's innocent mind



Charm says...


trust me i'm not innocent but i still don't get it xD



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126 Reviews


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Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:16 pm
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Aleta says...



damn marmalade




Charm says...


lmao thanks <3



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27 Reviews


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Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:48 am
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spectator says...



woah tumblr



kidding, i like it




Charm says...


*rolls eyes* thanks



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Sun Jun 26, 2016 1:36 am
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rl320 says...



I really enjoyed this poem. Immediately I think of somebody going through depression. I took this as maybe the seed is an antidepressant, of course that's just my interpretation. You're very detailed which makes it easy to visualize the process and understand this is a poem about self-recovery.




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Fri May 06, 2016 3:30 pm
Gymnast2801 wrote a review...



Hi, Gymnast2801 here with a review!
First off, this poem is really good! I like how you referred to a garden as sort of the growing of the mind. I epetaully loved the verse, "and I'll let my lonely tears water them". This verse is really wonderful and very creative-as is the rests of the poem.

The only thing I would like to point out is:

and though my thoughts aren't colorful
I think there should be a coma after "colorful" but I don't think it's really needed so you could just add it if you wanted

fields of flowers like his or hers
Perioid after "her's"

Well, that about sums it up! Great job and keep writing!




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Thu May 05, 2016 8:29 am
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Akshata7 wrote a review...



Hey!! This work is just stunning... use of words is justbso well I can actually feel what's happening. The point of using tears to water the plant is just great. This poem gives positive hope and I like it a lot. Each line of this poem has twists. In the starting lines you plant the seed and next moment you forget about it... this point is so well versed. Hope to see a beautiful garden very soon. Your poem just made me forget all my blues and just sail with the wind blowing with your poem. Wish to see more work from you.
- Akshata




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Thu May 05, 2016 6:59 am
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Rydia wrote a review...



Hey there! So I'm filling my house up with plants at the moment and when I saw the title, I decided this was definitely today's review.

Specifics

1. I'd actually like to see the first two lines switched around so that you start with the description of the location and give the emphasis to seed - we always remember most what comes toward the end of a sentence. So:

In the dark, soft dirt of my mind
I planted a seed

I also don't think you need to have 'dirt' to carry the metaphor and that 'recess' would sound nicer or even 'hovel' which takes the best from both worlds.

2.

and soon I had forgotten about this.
Less is more in poetry. I think this line should simply be 'and soon I had forgotten.' The reader knows what has been forgotten but it also allows a little duplicity in that other things could have been forgotten during that time as well.

3.
But little by little green sprouted through
adding color to my dead garden


This is along the same lines as point two in that less is more. At the moment your poetry reads a lot like prose and that's fine, but it means it has a slower pace than what most readers will expect from poetry and you're a little wordy without packing as much imagery into the line as others. I'd trim these lines down and e a bit less literal. Maybe something like:

But leaf by stem sprouted green,
like a child with only one crayon
and no sense of how to colour in the
lines.

So this is longer than your lines but there are less surplus words, for example 'little by little' replaced with plant imagery.

Overall

The ending is very nice and I like the hopefulness of this poem and the realisation of self sufficiency the speaker has. It's nice to see a love poem that's less about love and more about realising that we can hold our own selves up - very nicely done.

All the best,

~Heather




Charm says...


Thank you!



Charm says...


I just read over your review again and I'd thought I'd say that this poem isn't a love poem. I mean it could be taken that way. I wrote it in a way that it could be interpreted differently. It's about making changes in my life for my mental health. The garden refers to my mind, the flowers are my thoughts.



Rydia says...


That's actually what I thought until I saw the line 'fields of flowers like his or hers' and I wondered if that was a reference to an ex boyfriend who had gone off with someone else or something along those lines.

But I like that it's quite open to interpretation so the line still works.




I tell the neophyte: Write a million words–the absolute best you can write, then throw it all away and bravely turn your back on what you have written. At that point, you’re ready to begin.
— David Eddings