z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

La pluie de l'aprés-midi (Miraculous Ladybug)

by manilla


A/N: You don't need to know the fandom too well to read this, so enjoy! :) For those who know, I have written out Adrian's revelations on who Ladybug really is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvryolGa19A

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He wanted to know who laid behind that red and black-spotted mask, the who wore the guise of the heroine he followed day by day. His desire and curiosity for the unknown was, at this point, insatiable. There was no telling of when these feelings would end, when they would stop burning as brightly as they had now.

To him, she was an elusive creature who dived and later disappeared past the rooftops of Paris when the time called. Her navy blue hair reminded him of the darkening night sky that beckoned to him every night, luring him into the chase of adventure. Minute upon minute, his smile never faltered when he was beside her. Minute upon minute, Adrian's heart raced. A force was calling to him, whispering little secrets in his ear that declared yes, he was mandated to find out.

Adrian let out a little exhale and closed his eyes. Strewn upon his study desk was the collection of clues he gathered, from the inch in breadth pieces of paper recording something she had said whimsically one day to just simple printed images of her picture. He had written notes in the margins of them, but something remained missing. Folding his hands, he rested his weary head in his palm, and remained bedazzled by the spectacle that was his, but never his; Ladybug.

The way she danced in midair, spun slightly, before landing deftly on her own two feet. She would laugh at him, shake her head, and he would give her his hand. Ladybug would point at the akumatized villain, tell him her theories, her ideas, and he would dutifully execute whatever was required of him. After the swarm of red butterflies released themselves from the charmed object, all of Paris would be restored to the city of love Adrian had known it as.

"Come on, Cat Noir!"

Adrian's fingers ran through his hair, struck by the vivid image his mind generated. Her hand had been outstretched to him, and her smile had been brighter than a thousand burning suns. He longed for Ladybug to call him his given name, Adrian; and with this he wondered how his name would sound when she would say it.

And upon that, he opened his eyes, traced a line with a mechanical pencil, and landed on the class picture, humbly positioned in the far corner of the desk. Patiently, it had been waiting for Adrian to unlock its potential and cast it upon the sky that was his fragile heart. Yes, there was a girl in his class that looked oddly like Ladybug, with the same hairstyle of pigtails, except...The air about her was simply different. Adrian thought about Ladybug again, and how soft her cheek was when he had gently kissed it. The earnest surprise in her eyes.

In simpler, unadorned words, he was lost in a fantasy, and the only way out was to bring it to reality.

Glancing ardently at the class picture, he picked it up and brought Marinette to his face. Her cheeks were tinged with a pink probably from being close to him. To Adrian, however, it was ironic that she still hoped that he didn't know. It was cute of her, honestly. Placing the picture down, he took the printout of Ladybug in his hands. Adrian did a quick double-take. Their smiles, their eyes, their hair, their face. He felt a little fluttering sensation in his chest, for he asked himself if the lingering suspicion he had...True? 

Adrian in a delighted whirl rose from his desk, sending papers flying, a pencil rolling off his desk, and wore a smile that had not been seen in days at his father's house. He grinned to himself, shaking his head. The truth came to him. Ladybug had to be Marinette - not Kagami, not any other girl with navy blue hair, not anyone else in the world. His eyes were the brightest stars in the galaxy, shining with what could be tears. 

And then, the rain started to fall. It hit the window in slow, tiny drops.

The blond pulled open the door, ran down the carpeted hall before sliding down on the bannister, leaping off, and sprinting for the door. 

The rain hitting faster and faster made itself audible through his Natalie's protests, droplets landing on the marble floor as Adrian tugged open the handle. Thunder boomed, lightning crackled.

Adrian was out with nothing more than his spirit in his hands.


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Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:59 pm
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keystrings wrote a review...



Hey manilla! Thanks for requesting a review. I read that comment you left for Shady, and I know slightly about this fandom, so I at least have some of the context here.

I think little snippets of thoughts, or a part when a character recollects something, can be fun to both write and read, especially if it's a fic setting and the reader knows who this person is, and how they behave. It's like getting a cool snapshot of a scene and be able to be right back at that moment.

I really like that we're told all of Adrian's thoughts, as a nice little progression through this day that he realizes who Ladybug is. I think you have a nice feel for his character, and it's pretty relatable for someone to go over their feelings for another person, and of course, the "superhero" lens gives this idea and story another layer of secretive stuff.

I think the way that Adrian addresses Ladybug, with all of the uses of figurative language and comparing her to all of these fantastical things: the sky at night, an enchanting creature. This way of addressing someone that he has these strong feelings for (perhaps more than a crush) could definitely align itself with plenty of other teenagers/younger-ish people, as I'm sure someone's written poetry that sounds like what's mentioned above.

One thing I appreciate in this is that Adrian finally starts really piecing together that if two girls had the same colored hair, wore it the same way, and probably acted somewhat similar, could quite possibly be the same person! (I'd love to see this from like Marinette's view when she realizes who Cat Noir is, and she could go through a similar mindset.)

That's something that always frustrated me in superhero films/books/shows, as it really seems the characters would realize that the voices were the same, or the hair, or something like that. XD How could they not notice?

Overall, I really like short pieces like this, as I see it as a fun thing to go through and really get into this character's head. I like that this ends positively and even the play on words with his eyes welling up with tears while it starts to rain outside. Very cute! I'm happy that he's not disappointed or something kind of mean like that with realizing who she is.

I like this piece a lot <3




manilla says...


Thank you so much %uD83D%uDE0A



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Sat Feb 16, 2019 5:10 am
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Shady wrote a review...



Hey manilla,

Thanks for the request! I apologize this took me a while to get to -- I had a bit of a busy week and had a few promised review requests ahead of yours. But I am here now! And I'm super excited to see what you've got for me :D Let's get started...

He wanted to know who laid behind that red and black-spotted mask, the one? who wore the guise of the heroine he followed day by day.


I think you're just missing a word here...

Adrian let out a little exhale


This is phrased a bit strangely. I think "exhaled" or "let out a little breath" are more common ways to express this action. I mean I don't think this is technically wrong or anything -- it just stood out as funny to me so I thought I would mention it.

~ ~ ~

Okay! A bit of a short review, but this was a bit of a short piece, so I'll try to give some overall comments. I thought this was really good!

If I'm being perfectly honest I was a little bit confused by it, since I'm not familiar with the original fandom. Like... why is he so obsessive about LadyBug in the first place? In what context is he able to watch and interact with her? If she's a classmate, somebody he knows, then why didn't he just recognize her voice or mannerisms when they were talking? And, most pressingly, why is he so seemingly dazzled by a person who he doesn't even know who is?

Just a lot of unknowns going on here. I feel like this is kind of a scene that's supposed to come in the middle of things -- like I think I'd understand a lot more if I had a bit of a background in the story and understand his relationship with LadyBug and then would feel like I had some theories as to what's happening near the end.

But I still really enjoyed this! I hope that's not discouraging to hear that I was a little bit confused. This was a super short piece so it's hard for you to establish a lot of all this background that I'm demanding in this review xD It was a cute little snippet and I'm glad that he was able to have what he at least thinks is a breakthrough! I'm sure it's a v exciting time for him and it was pretty cute to see him agonizing about it trying to figure everything out because it's clearly something that's super important to him.

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'll wrap this up. I think this was a nice little story and I enjoyed reading it! If there was something specific that you wanted feedback on that I didn't mention feel free to let me know and I can try to comment on that, but otherwise, I think that's all I've got for you!

Keep writing!

~Shady 8)




manilla says...


Hi! Thanks for the review. Just a clarification: There are two superheroes in the city of Paris - Cat Noir and Ladybug. No one knows their true identities, and even they don't know who each other are. Meanwhile, they live lives as ordinary teenagers. There's an entire love square in this show and it's all very tense and ahoisdfhiafo. Adrien/Cat Noir desperately wants to find out (because they crush on Ladybug) while Marinette doesn't really care too much about Cat Noir compared to him liking her. Marinette likes Adrien/Cat Noir in human form. It's all very complicated, but I hope this helps.



Shady says...


Ahh, I see. Yes, that does make more sense haha thanks :)




Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
— Lemony Snicket