Published March 18, 2011
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140,745 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
I could relate, it was very good topic and well expressed.
You has changed things? Do you mean, you have? Also, I could find no rhyme scheme, but some lines DID rhyme, which bothered me. In my opinion, all of it should rhyme or none of it. But, that could just be one of my weird dislikes. I doubt anyone else would care... but who knows, maybe more people care and I'm not alone. these were my favorite lines.WOW, it's like you're inside of my head! I can so relate and i think a lot of people will, which is really important when you're writing. I loved the language and it flowed so well, it was so full of truth but didn't sound like you were preaching. Bravo, keep up the good work.
This is my favorite poem of yours so far! I'm still not a good reviewer with poetry, but hopefully I was able to help out. The only thing I felt a little jarring was the line about 'not going to love you' in the second stanza. At first, I imagined the poem was about the world changing in general, like it was progressing at such a fast rate that wasn't any good for anyone. But then you made it about a relationship, which I didn't see coming. That was the only problem I had, and I'm sure other people will not have a problem with it, so don't worry about it too much.
This is a poem I just had sitting around waiting around. So I want all of the reviews I can get. Don't be afraid to be harsh.