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Hell is more tech savvy than me (and Heaven)

by khushi17bansal


“This is how you’re going to torture me?” Neel’s tone was confused, he had been sporting that perplexed look on his face ever since he had arrived at Hell. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Well of course,” Onyx confirmed, swishing her forked tail, “this is how we torture everybody.”

Neel looked at the Pen in front of him, it was like the fence that farmers used to keep sheep enclosed. Inside was an endless sea of humans in different forms of terror, anguish, horror, stretching till the horizon, all of them wearing VR goggles.

Neel swallowed, “Shouldn’t Hell have fire?” he asked, confused.

Bronx frowned, his horns twitching in irritation, “Why would we have fire? Fire is hard to control, it takes lot of work to maintain, makes things hot – not to mention, oil is expensive!”

“It’s not eco-friendly either!” piped in Onyx.

Bronx nodded vigorously, “Yes! This is much better.”

Neel blinked, “Eco-friendly?”

Onyx nodded, “Yes, VR goggles are eco-friendly, they run on electricity and give no smoke.”

Bronx looked at Neel’s confused face and sighed, “I don’t understand why you are so surprised; we are demons of Hell, we aren’t evil.” A sudden animation lit up his face, “if anything those heathens up at Heaven are evil!”

“Oh yes!” Onyx agreed scowling, “they are the worst!”

“Yes!” Bronx continued, shaking his fist at the sky, “those heathens! They live up there in the sky, amidst all the sunlight, and they don’t use solar panels!”

Neel stared at the two demons, “Solar panels?”

“Yes!” the two demons exclaimed, scandalised.

“But aren’t all these human inventions?” Neel sounded confused.

“Oh we can’t help that!” Onyx gushed, “humans invent the most wonderous things! Like time, mind control, books, sour candy!” her voice had risen to an ecstatic scream.

“We never invented mind control”

“Oh you did, you – for some reason – call it social media.” Bronx replied chuckling.

Onyx laughed with him, “Yes I never understood that name, it’s so unappealing.”

“I know! I don’t understand how they managed to sell so much of it.”

Neel had the beginning of panic etched on his face, “That’s it, I'm going mad, oh god! I'm going mad, this can’t be Hell!”

Onyx raised her eyebrows, “Whyever not?”

“Because – because you have VR goggles and! – and the demons here are having fun! They are laughing and playing – I saw a group of demons playing dodgeball on our way here!”

“Are you saying demons can’t have fun?!” Onyx cried; indignation written of her face.

“We are great at having fun!” Bronx protested, annoyed, “we invented it!”

“Yes! Oh you’re such a human, I bet you thought Heaven would be fun. Well they are not! They are not fun! They invented taxes! and homework!” Onyx finished triumphantly.

Bronx scowled at Neel’s muddled expression, “We need to get you in the Pen, what size goggles will fit you?” his horns twitched in irritation.

Neel flinched and turned to look at the Pen, “What are they seeing anyway?”

“Jurassic Park.”

Neel jerked in surprise, “Huh?”

Onyx nodded, “Yes, Jurassic Park, Jaws, Anaconda among others. They are living the movies to be accurate.”

Bronx walked over with another set of goggles, “Of course we have changed and updated them so that they all die in the end.”

“So basically they’re going to face horrible, gruesome, terrifying deaths for the rest of eternity.” Onyx sounded proud, “It’s one of our greatest innovations.”

Neel blinked, “You’re not punishing them for their sins?”

“Nope!” Bronx replied, popping the p, “we’re just punishing them in general. Here these goggles are yours.”

‘Can’t they take of their headsets?”

“No, they're permanently fixed for all of eternity.” 

Onyx smiled, swishing her tail, “I bet you wish you spent less of your time alive on the screen.”

It was a normal day in Hell. 


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User avatar
7 Reviews

Points: 471
Reviews: 7

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Fri May 24, 2024 8:35 am
Kem6o wrote a review...



Hello there! I am here to give you a review on your piece of work. What a tale, I enjoyed reading this from the start to the finish. This storyline and the way it proceded was beyond imagination. Very creative work here!
The complete conversation of Neel and the demons of hell was interesting to read.

The use of VR did draw attention, making it mark as being one from the tech savvy generation. The line, “You’re not punishing them for their sins?”... which shows Neel's surprise and shock but then the reply he gets satisfies all of us.

The way social media was named as a mind controller was amusing and it had so much depth at the same time. All together, the story flow was hilarious and still quite reflective. Also the eco friendly part was well written.

Anyway even this punishment is scary like burning fire I imagine, and thus, hell will retains it's name even in the future generations, lol.




khushi17bansal says...


Thanks for the review!! I appreciate it.



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256 Reviews

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Reviews: 256

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Thu May 23, 2024 5:52 am
Spearmint says...



Bronx frowned, his horns twitching in irritation, “why would we have fire? Fire is hard to control, it takes lot of work to maintain, makes things hot – not to mention, oil is expensive!”

“It’s not eco-friendly either!” piped in Onyx.

Bronx nodded vigorously, “yes! This is much better.”

XDD This story was hilarious right from the beginning :D

“We never invented mind control”

“Oh you did, you – for some reason – call it social media.” Bronx replied chuckling.

LOL

You have a wonderful wittiness and sense of humor! ^-^




khushi17bansal says...


Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.



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34 Reviews

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Reviews: 34

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Wed May 22, 2024 4:04 pm
AnotherCrowInRow wrote a review...



Hi!
I liked your story - I like the humor with which you picked up the topic of punishments in hell. And the fact that people invented everything boring and stupid amused me (I have a very similar opinion about homework as Onyx). I also appreciate the ecological thinking of Hell (sarcastically, but I hope you get the point :D). All in all, it's a short but cool and good job. However, I want to draw your attention to the fact that in many cases you do not write a capital letter at the beginning of sentences - and the same applies to dialogues. It doesn't look good, it's a serious grammatical error and the text loses "seriousness" because of it. If you need more advice about the grammar, don't be afraid to contact me - I just wanted to remind you, because the work now looks extremely amateurish from a stylistic point of view. It's a shame if it spoils someone's opinion of such a great story, so try to work on your grammar.




khushi17bansal says...


Hi there! Thanks for the review, and for drawing my attention to my grammatical mishap, I appreciate it.




hmmm. you know, the quote generator deserves some garlic bread
— SilverNight