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Ripples

by kaydenwrites


Ripples
From teardrops
Plunging
Into the stream

Breezes
Around tree trunks
Shivering
Boughs of leaves

Weeping
Willows wave, they’re
Mourning
In harmony with me

Picturesque
Landscape that
Doesn’t
Match the scene


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Points: 156
Reviews: 4

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Thu Dec 03, 2020 3:01 pm
Kalsie2179 says...



I loved how much passion was in this. I want to keep reading this over and over again. this makes me have real emotions. keep writing like this.




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Points: 156
Reviews: 4

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Thu Dec 03, 2020 2:59 pm
Kalsie2179 says...



This is amazing!!




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Points: 40
Reviews: 1

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Sat Nov 21, 2020 11:49 pm
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SharadaBastia wrote a review...



I love how concise and lucid it is! However, there might be a lack of depth. I feel a few more words per line would enhance your poem!
Your writing is great, just a little elaboration while keeping your concise style intact might make it better.
The choice of words is pretty nice. They convey a lot of meaning in a few words. Words like teardrops, weeping, and mourning indicate the sad undertones of the poem.
A little more depth would indicate the meaning of the poem with more clarity.




kaydenwrites says...


Hi, thanks for the review and the feedback ^-^



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Sat Nov 21, 2020 11:46 pm
SharadaBastia says...



I love how concise and lucid it is! However, there might be a lack of depth. I feel a few more words per line would enhance your poem!
Your writing is great, just a little elaboration while keeping your concise style intact might make it better.




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Points: 40
Reviews: 1

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Sat Nov 21, 2020 11:38 pm
SharadaBastia says...



I love how concise and lucid it is! However, there might be a lack of depth. I feel a few more words per line would enhance your poem!
Your writing is great, just a little elaboration while keeping your concise style intact might make it better.




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79 Reviews


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Sat Nov 21, 2020 9:03 pm
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Stellarjay wrote a review...



Hey kaydenwrites,
You have a really nice poem here. So let's get right into it!

An Interpretation
From what I can see your poem is about someone who is in the depths of despair or just really sad and beaten down. The way you intertwined the imagery of tears, and forests was interesting. I think you could really go somewhere with that. As I was reading your poem I had this image in my head of a deep dark forest with a pond in it. It was a very sad picture.

Some Tips
I can see where you were trying to go with this poem. But I feel as if it's not enough you know? The lines are pretty short, which end up sounding clunky. Now to be honest I had the same problem when I first started writing poetry. I always wanted to make the lines shorter, until they were only one word long. But the effect isn't very nice, it sounds very clunky. Now this all depends on style choice, but I encourage you to try lengthen your lines. It'll not only help expand on ideas and thoughts, but it'll also help make it flow easier.

Last thoughts
So, overall it was a good poem. Sure there's need for improvement (in my opinion). But that doesn't take away the beauty or the meaning of it. If you have any questions feel free to ask, I am always glad to help. Have a great rest of your day and keep on writing!

Stellarjay




kaydenwrites says...


Hey, thanks for the review. I really appreciate the feedback! ^-^



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Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:08 pm
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NastyMajesty wrote a review...



Hewwo @kaydenwrites! @NastyMajesty here for a review, nice to see ya? Wait I can't technically see you and I can't say nice to meetcha because I've done reviews for you before and-- maybe I'm just overcomplicating this. Man, I need to find a new intro (-‸ლ). OKAY I'm just gonna--

Grows
I know this is nit-picky but you don't need to capitalize the first letter in each stanza lol. That's basically it for the grows.

Glows
This poem is so elegant! Your use of words is so vivid and beautiful. Especially this stanza:

Weeping
Willows wave, they’re
Mourning
In harmony with me
I really loved your poem and enjoyed reading it! Overall, amazing job. Keep writing!
:D




kaydenwrites says...


Hey, nice to see you too (; Thanks for the review and feedback, glad you enjoyed! <3




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