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Once There Was Beauty

by imaginer2018

Once, there was beauty.

Now, no words can describe this.

Before, the sky was clear and pure.

Take a look at Beijing and Delhi if you want to contradict.

Forests cover 31 percent of the land, and yet

More than 150 acres are lost every minute

Of every day

Of every year.

So, tell me, are animals coming into the cities just by coincidence?

And speaking of animals, so many lose

Their lives to deforestation and poaching.

Right now, there are only two white rhinos in the entire world,

And they are females.

An entire species of beautiful creatures

Exterminated by weapons created for the spoils of war.

So, I’ll ask you, is there still beauty?

Because humanity’s greed has hidden it.

In 1944, the concentration camps were discovered and liberated.

The United Nations formed, promising to never let anything like that

Ever happen again.

Okay, that’s great, just one question though:

Where did all the Syrians go?

One day, we are going to wake up and look outside.

A barren wasteland meets us.

Skulls are littered across the dried-cracked ground;

Dust storms rise every few hours,

For no plants stop it.

How? They are all dead.

Cut down or stomped on for the need of houses.

The human race populated way too much.

There are no animals.

Just the occasional emaciated dog and cat,

Or ugly rat.

All the other animals?

They were killed for the money of food, warmth,

Or money.

Because we all know how people treasure wealth.

Ash and gas swim in the sky,

Drowning the mighty eagles and the tiny hummingbirds.

The stars are no longer visible, and the sun..

Oh, the sun.

We barely see its outline in the cloud of haze,

But we still feel its warmth, although it’s too warm for our liking.

Oh, you didn’t know.

The ozone layer has been destroyed.

All the pollution from factories and nuclear testing has ruined it.

Now, the sun shines as bright as it pleases.

Even if it burns the skin and leaves us with bloody wounds.

But that’s all right. Cause we deserve it.

Mother Earth suffered so much because of us.

The least we can do is let her punish us.

But I am still hopeful.

There are people out there who are trying to change the world,

Trying to restore beauty.

And I am one of them.

Maybe not now, but someday I will.

Yes, once there was beauty,

But even with all the destruction,

A tiny daffodil is blooming.

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100 Reviews

Points: 5531
Reviews: 100

Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:34 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...

Hey, there. I found this poem while looking through your portfolio. This is a nice work that shows your love for the earth and your passion for protecting life and nature. One thing that I like about it is the inclusion of statistics and facts, such as dates and numbers. The mention of specific peoples and places makes it feel like you are dealing with something more realistic than abstract. It also showcases your knowledge and the fact that you've studied this issue.

That being said, the very same factor seems to make it a little un-poetic. Don't get me wrong - the way you've laid out the facts in a poetic format is nice and presents a more appealing way of reading the information and becoming aware of the details - but the whole piece is a little long and, to me, lacks the flow of poetry. While not all poetry must revolve around emotion and touchy-feely stuff, this one seems just a little too dry, as you don't particularly express your feelings on the issue until the end.

On a brighter note, it is, as I said, very informative, and that's nice. You've used lots of examples to prove your point. It's something you don't see in a lot of poetry. So it's cool to include it, but I personally would advise you to save most of the statistics, etc. for essays rather than poetry.

Anyway, nice job here, overall. :) Hope my constructive criticism isn't too overwhelming. :) I can see that this subject is your passion, and the writer's passion is, after all, the heart and inspiration of poetry. Keep it up with your talents! :)

imaginer2018 says...

Thank you! I wrote this poem in the eighth grade for class, and I recited it last year. Although I cut some of the middle out because, like you said, it was too long and choppy. This definitely isn't my favorite poem. :)

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28 Reviews

Points: 452
Reviews: 28

Tue May 01, 2018 8:03 pm
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xJoeyx wrote a review...

Hewo wonderful persona.
It is Jade, once again giving a review to a beautiful poem.
This was so realistic and so true. This is the most amazing and truthful poem I have ever read. It flowed together beautifully and I could imagine every single scene you layed out. I can't put into words how good this is. This is perfect and I wish I could write as good as you. I honestly don't think there is anything differently that you could do. I am in no place to give you writing advice,,
I think, as Elinor said, that this does represent our modern times and I also think that qoute applies here. I also believe the quote, "When the world says 'give up', Hope whispers, 'Try one more time'" applies here. Because as the world is being destroyed you still have the hope that things will change and that you can fix everything that has been destroyed. That we can have another chance even though nobody else believes it will never happen.

imaginer2018 says...

Indeed, some people say they don%u2019t have the power to save the world, or fix the mistakes, but we do. Thanks so much for your review!

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1190 Reviews

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Reviews: 1190

Tue May 01, 2018 2:01 am
Elinor wrote a review...

Hey imaginer2018!

My name is Elinor, and I'm here to give you a review. I really like the idea of this poem. It's definitely something that very much speaks to our current times, especially with the US presidential administration not really believing in climate change. Overall, I think you do a really good job in this of balancing what we often say versus how our actions reflection that. I also like how you end the poem on a happy note. Have you ever heard the quote, "as long as there is life, there is hope"? I definitely think it applies here.

Right now, this is a bit on the long side, and I think it can be pared down. Poetry, in my option, is all about rhythm and flow, and right now some of your lines work better than others. I sort of like that the first person narrator has a sort of omniscience. There's a lot you bring up here, and that's fine, but I would maybe focus on fewer examples and work on describing those scenes. What does the beauty you mention in the first line look like?

Other quick notes --

Forests cover 31 percent of the land, and yet

More than 150 acres are lost every minute

Try to spell out your numbers.

In 1944, the concentration camps were discovered and liberated.

The United Nations formed, promising to never let anything like that

Ever happen again.

I get what you're going for here, but the shift to the holocaust feels a little sudden. I'd maybe try to refer to it in a more abstract way.

Overall, good work! Please feel free to shoot me a PM if you have any questions.


imaginer2018 says...

Thank you for the review!

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39 Reviews

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Reviews: 39

Mon Apr 30, 2018 11:26 am
imaginer2018 says...

Ahh, sorry for the repeats down below, I must have accidentally sent it again and again and again.

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29 Reviews

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Reviews: 29

Mon Apr 30, 2018 9:39 am


I’ll review this soon!!

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39 Reviews

Points: 4095
Reviews: 39

Mon Apr 30, 2018 1:18 am
imaginer2018 says...

@WanderlustStardust@Radrook@BookishBrook@LittleLee@Big Brother

Here’s a new poem I wrote!

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
— Allen Ginsburg