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140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hello Iheartbooks! I've come to review your work. The places that you chose tobring dawn and start a new line seem kind of odd to me. But it has been awhile sense I wrought a poem, so I'm not going to talk about that much.
This is a very interesting piece. I t really makes me wonder why the woman is trapped there, how did she get there, and who(or what) is keeping her there?
It's a very bleak picture that your word paint. But honestly, when I read them, all I can think about is what a great novel one could use this to make. But thats because I think about writing novels too much. XD
I don't think you really had any spelling or grammar errors,so nothing to say there.
I think you did an excellent job. I could really see this. Although, it really didn't feel like the woman was all that desperate to get away, which leaves me wondering why not? Is this simply something the author left out or is it truly the woman is content where she is? Either way I think there needs to be something on the matter. Just a line or two on how the woman feels about being trapped there.
Nice job, keep up the good work!
~WW
Hi, thank you for your review! Have you ever read "The Yellow Wallpaper"? I wrote this poem as a response to it, so it could be unclear if you haven't read it yet.
Hey!
This is umaima and I am going to review your submission today!
There were a few mistakes in your poem so I have corrected them below:
"The yellow wallpaper;
It moves.
It shakes and ripples as
the woman tries to escape.
The moonlight makes her restless.
She yearns to be free.
Free of this house,
this- disease.
Even in the sun,
she's forced to creep.
Always stuck between living
and not.
The woman seems sad,
captive behind these walls.
In the dead of night,
she is recognizable'.
The woman is me."
This was just an opinion on how you should put your poem, It's on you if you would consider it or not.
This was a really nice poem and I enjoyed it a lot. I really think you should always put spaces or put poems in stanzas.
Good luck for your next work and Happy review day!
Allusion! <3 This story seriously freaked me out as a child. And now I have a love of wallpaper-- so elegant.