Broken

That poem is amazing! Although its sort of dark and gloomy, I think it somehow symbolizes hope for better days. I think that throughout the poem, each line has a but more strength in it. "Enduring the pain as long as possible" is the line that really stands out to me, because it shows you have something to live for! Keep writing!

An acrostic poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ♥ them.

Obviously this poem is very dark: 'Never again wanting to feel like this' however the ending line seems to suggest some sort of hope. XD which is great.

Simple, effective and dark without being melodramatic.

Me likey. XD

Sphealwithit here..

I like the style, its different. At the start it seems like emo poetry but it was actually pretty good.

A bit on the short side but i'm guessing you want it that way.

There isn't much i can say grammer wise so that's it.

Keep up the good work

Sphealwithit out.....

Hey this is Ahmed for Review

So hear I go.Your poem is awesome in a word.I like the way you write,So keep it up

If you got a newsletter from yws a while back you may have been like me and clicked the diffrence between good emotional poetry and the typicaly emo poetry. One of the words they said tends to but it in the emo catagory is the very title of your poem, as well as the base of your poem. I wish I could say that isn't true of this poem, but it kind of is. (That may sound bitchy, but let me explain) You do a great job of giving the feeling of sadness, the feeling of being broken, but you barely touch on why you feel that way. The expansion can be done many ways, repeating the word and format only changing the lines in each stanza to continue the story, make it into a sentence that starts with that word, just to name a few. That isn't to say this is a bad piece, but you should expand it to try and get away from the stereotype of emo poetry, and really touch the reader. The other thing I wanted to touch on was the flow, and that is to say I think it actually reads really well, it's just missing something. Great Job and keep writing.

Ok, now I sit here, and read this. Then I look to my right and see this beautiful smiling girl looking at me and I think. Ok...what? But I digress.

My name is Ossum and this is your review.
I am a personal fan of stuff like this because I understand that you not only have to express a certain emotional aspect to what you are using as a base, but also a knowledgeable aspect on how to construct poetry in general. A lot of people confuse using this style as an easy one because half of the the battle is done for you using your base.

But on the contrary its in fact harder because now the reader already has an expectation when they read it. And I think you met that expectation well. A beautiful piece for the beautiful lady.

But I do have a question. this poem seems to be teetering on the subject of a lost relationship, and a forced relationship. And it has to do with this line here.

"Knowing you aren’t good enough"

It could go both ways as you are saying it to someone, or saying it about yourself. But it should be specified because it does give the reader multiple ways to interpret the next two lines. As they could come from either perspective.

...

Unless that was what you are going for and I am sitting here making you smile because I am overlooking the simple fact that you may be that incredibly superb at writing. ^-^

Have an amazingly ossumly filled day!