Joe was dancing and having a good time at the nightclub. He felt a little out of place, but he ignored it. "This Wyoming club was different," Joe thought. "A good different." He liked how lights glistened and shined upon him like never before. He also liked the people (except for Chris.)
///
Chris has lived in Wyoming all his life. He was the king of the town. He had decent looks, nice, short ginger hair. Chris was 6'9". He was extremely obnoxious, constantly yelling. He was also constantly swearty and had no manners. Joe was the [almost] complete opposite. Joe had lived in LA all his life. (Joe was just visiting his cousins for the weekend.) He had decent looks also. He had a smooth, natural dark brown hair color. His hair was somewhat long, and he was roughly 5 foot. Joe had great hygiene and manners. Joe was very quiet and rarely spoke up, except for this one time.........
///
Once they were both in the club, Chris was dancing and shouting "WOOHOO!" for the past hour. It was REALLY pissing Joe off. "Why doesn't he just shut the fuck up?" Joe thought. "It's not cool." To everyone else, it was hot, and two girls started all up on him. "That is digusting!" he shouted accidentally. "Dammit." Chris was showing more and more of his true colors by getting really close to Joe on purpose while being his obnoxious self. "Oh my fucking god bitch!" Joe confronted Chris. "You know you're pissing me off, so why don't you just stop?" Chris decided to play dumb. "W.W.What do you mean?"
"STOP PLAYING DUMB!"
"I will give you one last chance, or else I will mess you up, boy." Joe screeched. Chris didn't really give a fuck, so he started GRINDING ON JOE! Chris started to mona like he was having sex or something. "I AM DONE!" Joe gave him the fist of his life. "Hell naw!" Chris shoved him. Then, a fistfight occfured. "Oh, whatever, that's a regular thing," said someone walking by.
///
The next morning, Joe got away as fast as he could, and is never coming back.
THE END
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,854 Reviews
Hiyaz =D Im Aly and im gonna review this for you =)
Ok color code!
Red-Indent (I'll put the first word that should start a new paragraph in red)
Blue-Misspell
Green-Anything else wrong
Joe was dancing and having a good time at the nightclub. He felt a little out of place, but he ignored it. #FF0000 ">"This Wyoming club was different," Joe thought. "A good different." #FF0000 ">He liked how lights glistened and shined upon him like never before. He also liked the people (except for Chris.)
///
Chris has lived in Wyoming all his life. He was the king of the town. He had decent looks, nice, short ginger hair. Chris was 6'9". He was extremely obnoxious, constantly yelling. He was also constantly #00BF00 ">swearty(WHAT????) and had no manners. #FF0000 ">Joe was the [almost] complete opposite. Joe had lived in LA all his life. (Joe was just visiting his cousins for the weekend.) #FF0000 ">He had decent looks also. He had a smooth, natural dark brown hair color. His hair was somewhat long, and he was roughly 5 foot. Joe had great hygiene and manners. Joe was very quiet and rarely spoke up, except for this one time.........
///
Once they were both in the club, Chris was dancing and shouting "WOOHOO!" for the past hour. It was REALLY pissing Joe off. #FF0000 ">"Why doesn't he just shut the fuck up?" Joe thought. "It's not cool." To everyone else, it was hot, and two girls started all up on him. "That is digusting!" he shouted accidentally. "Dammit." Chris was showing more and more of his true colors #00BF00 ">by(Get rid of by, put a period, and start the new sentence with He was) getting really close to Joe on purpose while being his obnoxious self. #FF0000 ">"Oh my fucking god bitch!" Joe confronted Chris. "You know you're pissing me off, so why don't you just stop?" #FF0000 ">Chris decided to play dumb. "W.W.What do you mean?"
"STOP PLAYING DUMB!"
"I will give you one last chance, or else I will mess you up, boy." Joe screeched. Chris didn't really give a fuck, so he started GRINDING ON JOE! Chris started to #0000FF ">mona like he was having sex or something. #FF0000 ">"I AM DONE!" Joe gave him the fist of his life. "Hell naw!" Chris shoved him. Then, a fistfight #0040FF ">occfured. #FF0000 ">"Oh, whatever, that's a regular thing," said someone walking by.
///
The next morning, Joe got away as fast as he could, and is never coming back.
I loveeeeeeeeeeee drama and this is totally my favorite drama story ever!!!!! Keep going!!!
Hey futbol! I'm SporkPunk, and I'll review this today.
Okay, so, I really think this could use some work. Mostly for the grammar errors, and a bit for the characterization. You could really expand this and make it quite entertaining. Right now, it's still entertaining, but the errors kind of detract from that. xD
-Sporks