Young Writers Society

I do notice that this is pretty short, especially for a Novel Chapter, but even so it was pleasant and quaint. As you could guess I have never read any of these chapters so let my speech on this subject be lightweight.

First impressions: I like the style and usage of analogies, I particularly like this because I am an avid user of analogies my self in my story. Aside from that I am not really sure what is going on I am not going to lie; though this is probably because I have zero context AT ALL. Still though- generally I think this is pretty great.

Dialogue: So I have not the slightest idea about any of the characters as you could guess, but I fairly enjoy the Narrator. I do think that some more detail could be put between lines, but thats trivial.

Style: Okay so what do I think? Well I think overall the style is fairly rich in character, I enjoyed that part the most. I think the only thing that I have to complain about here is the lack of detail given. Either that or I just need to go back and read some of your other stuff.

Conclusion: I thought that it was a nice little chapter to read and see. I don't regret clicking on this.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: I think even though it was quite a short part you still packed quite a lot of punch into it. Lots of exciting things happening and despite the faster pace it actually felt like it worked quite well here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Reentering the atmosphere in three... two... one..." I muttered.

ZOOM!

I whooshed down the driveway, and sand would have sprayed in my face, if I had not been wearing ski goggles at the time. I grinned, and felt the wind slam into my face like a wall. Luckily, I rock climb, my motto being: "Walls are meant for climbing." I whooshed around this wall as quickly as an ostrich mixed with a cheetah. Cackled some more.

"C'mon, c'mon..." I said, nearing the humongous pit of sand at the edge of the road. It drew closer, and closer, and I felt a great thrill. My parents were gonna be so mad. How enjoyable this was. Suddenly, the wind seemed to pick up, and the sand under my skis turned soft and sluggish. I hadn't waited long enough.

Everything was quicksand.

swish! Just like that, my marvelous plan disappeared from my head as quickly as- you know what? Nothing was as quick as that thought going Bye-bye. The ginormous pit of sand approached even quicker and I felt even more panic fill me.

"What the-" said a voice, and I noticed Allie standing against the doorway, grinning like an evil person. "look what you got yourself into," she said.

Now, normally, I would have said back: "yeah, I got myself into trouble, but I'm surprised how you don't get punished looking like that every day." but now, I was about to fall into a pit full of quicksand. I screamed.

I fell in. Sand suffocated me, covering me, blinding me. I tried to scream but I was silenced. Suddenly, two hands lifted me up, and the next thing I knew, a boy was staring at me.

"You're bleeding," he told me. I sighed. "I know," I said. "Who are you?"

"I'm a wizard, of course." he said wryly. "What do you expect?"

Warning: short chapter. Short notice.