z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Yewis and the Terrible Word Eater (Pt. 2)

by Rook


Eventually, via PM communication, the Squills Underground reached a consensus. The monster would have to be stopped. There were many conflicting ideas about how this should be accomplished, but finally StellaThomas, a voice of reason weighed in.

Soon, just such a group emerged. Rydia, and Meshugenah, the red-shirted mercenaries, as well as AriaAdams, Iggy, PenguinAttack, and Stella herself volunteered. This strike force of six set up guard watch along the main areas of Yewis: down Literary Lane, at the corner of the Blog Boroughs, outside Green Room Hall, at the top of Forums Street, at the door of the Lounge, and at People Avenue.

They also instated a neighborhood watch of sorts, instructing every villager to come to them with any information leading to the Word Eater. 

Meanwhile, villagers began to lose more and more words, despite added precautions. Some had their vocabulary depleted so far that they could only really communicate with facial expressions.

This made it extremely difficult to send warnings and messages to others.

Tevatron developed a noble, self-sacrificial plan. They stood in the middle of the lounge with a list of long, juicy words, and shouted them in hopes to attract the Word-Eater. When Tev realized that they were missing several of the words from their vocabulary, they crept around the room, still reciting words. Tev found the monster, curled behind one of the Lounge's sofa's, gorged on words, and smiling in a disgusting ecstasy. The Word Eater was so stuffed on words that it couldn't move very quickly at all, and Tev got a good look long look at it. Though they lost a lot of words that afternoon, Tevatron's actions were vital in researching the anatomy of the Word Eater, and they were hailed as a hero ever after.

With Tevatron's (rather circuitous and halting) descriptions, AriaAdams was able to sketch out what the Word Eater looked like, approximately.

The strike force convened to decide where the best place to strike the beast down would be. As they deliberated on spots, Audy noted that it would be important to find the Word Eater’s hiding place. It was not always out and about, stealing words; at times it went back to its cave to digest. Rydia suggested that they use the Big Brother K-9 unit to track down the monster’s living place. The rest of the strike force agreed.

Big Brother—an organization comprised of red-coated mercenaries, and dark green-coated warriors—had a K-9 force that could rival the FBI’s. Of course, every dog in the K-9 Barracks was an adorable, photogenic puppy. But that didn’t mean they were any less fearless than even the most well-trained German Shepherd. After a villager reported a word loss, and Rydia knew the Word Eater was in town. She raced to the BB K-9 HQ and released a squadron of the dogs. They ran straight to work, hot on the heels of the monster.

The strike force followed the dogs, and, over every hill they crested, they got a glimpse of the monster’s tail disappearing over the next hill, or around the next corner. Eventually, the Word Eater fled to its cave on the edge of hopelessness and oblivion, way outside the village limits of Yewis. Meshugenah marked this on a map, and the strike force reconvened back at Yewis, returning the K-9 units to BB HQ.

Though a series of notes passed back and forth carefully, the strike force decided that the best weapon of choice for the job would have to be a sword. PenguinAttack volunteered to go find a sword, and the meeting adjourned.

Pengu wandered up and down the streets of Yewis, trying to think of where she could get her hands on a a sword. Sure there were lots of homes on Literary Lane that probably housed many sword. But there were so many stories in the buildings on literary lane: the fantasy building itself was over 14600 stories tall! Pengu did not feel inclined to climb all those stairs. Eventually, inspiration struck her. The the sign that said "Welcome" to Yewis had an enormous pencil and a rather small sword attached to it. A real sword. She had been at the unveiling ceremony of the sign, and knew who had crafted the sword-- a villager named Bobo.

Pengu flew down People Avenue, way down towards the back of town. This area of Yewis wasn't as prosperous and busy as more towards the front of town, but every now and then, the lights came on in a house or two, and smoke poured for a solitary chimney. Pengu only hoped that by some miracle, Bobo’s home would be the one with signs of life.

It wasn’t. When Pengu reached the corner where Bobo’s home resided, the curtains were drawn, and there showed no signs of light in the crack under the door. Pengu desperately tried the doorknob. She was surprised to find it unlocked. She glanced around at the deserted street, then stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind her.

The house was covered in spider webs. On the floor in front of the door were a bunch of unopened birthday cards. Pengu started at these for a minute, the quickly started making her way through Bobo’s house, methodically checking drawers and cabinets for a place where he might keep swords. Finally, towards the back of the house, Pengu found a workbench covered in wood shavings, screws, papers, and all manner of odds and ends. To the side of this work bench was as basket full of swords.

Jackpot, thought Pengu. She went through the swords, trying to find one that felt right in her hands. She discarded many that were too heavy, to small, or too imbalanced. Finally, she found one: a gleaming silver double-edged sword, with a black hilt, and a red gem stuck on the end. It just felt right.

Pengu wrote a note to Bobo explaining what had happened, then thought better of it and burned it. She wrote another note with just her name so the Word Eater couldn’t steal anything. I can tell Bobo why I was here if he ever comes back. Pengu exited the building, and headed back to her home with her new sword.


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187 Reviews


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Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:44 pm
PeanutPhoebe wrote a review...



Hey! I'm back!! Loved this Part, just like Part One... This is gonna be a pretty short review, since I'm liking so much of this story. I hope there's more to come! It's really fun to read, I enjoyed it a lot!!:) Anyway, I have pretty much the same feelings about this chapter. There were a several typos in this chapter such as: missing an "s" at the end of a plural word, adding an extra "a" (as in the word) here and there, that kind of thing. Nothing big. Give it a thorough once-over and you could find them all easily... I love that you threw Bobo in there! I know he created the logo, but he was a user who has since left, right?? I assume that's what the abandoned house, un-opened birthday cards, and the phrase "if he ever came back" alluded to. I don't really have a whole lot to say! I like the drawings, except.. the monster one. It was a bit too detailed to be that small I think. I couldn't read the notes hardly at all, and when you drew the different parts it was hard to tell where on the monster that was supposed to be (some of the time) Don't get me wrong, it was a good drawing, but I think it could have been narrowed down some. Also, the last picture other than the sword was somewhat confusing... I had a hard time identifying it. Otherwise it was great! Excited to read more!!




Rook says...


The notes aren't really supposed to be read. :p
I left them legible in case people were interested, but they are really just supposed to look like mindless handwriting.



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Mon Jan 12, 2015 9:48 pm
Mea wrote a review...



All right, let's get some reviews on this lovely piece.

I love this. :D It's such a clever idea, and I like the way you transferred YWS into real life.

I also really like the drawings. It looks like you did them yourself, and they look pretty darn good! (The dogs one is adorable XD)

I have two minor complaints about the pictures, though.

1. The wording on the drawing of the dragon is almost impossible to read. (I might just be bad at reading handwriting though.

2. The picture of the sword is the sword picture at the top of the page. Which is great - I really like that little touch, but in the story it says specifically that the actual sword is too small to use. The sword Pengu finds could just be a look-alike, but it's probably a good idea to mention that to avoid confusion.

Literary Lane that probably housed many sword.

Random typo I saw. Should be 'swords.'

Overall, this is pretty good flow-wise, but some sentences just seem choppy. Here are a couple of them:

The strike force convened to decide where the best place to strike the beast down would be.

Just a bit oddly worded.

the best weapon of choice for the job would have to be a sword.

You really don't need both "of choice" and "for the job." Either one would suffice.

There are a few more of these, but I'm not going to pick them all out for you. I'm sure you know what a choppy sentence sounds like. XD

Oh, and I really loved the little note about the birthday cards on the floor. Things like that totally make Yewis feel like a real-life version of YWS.

So yeah, overall this is awesome, and I am eagerly awaiting the next installment!




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Sat Jan 10, 2015 8:06 pm
Corncob says...



I feel really stupid saying this, but I'm not sure quite what the Word Eater is. I get most of it, except for that part. Anybody care to explain...?




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Sat Jan 10, 2015 8:02 am
Tay01 says...



I found the word eater. Where is my 60 million points? LOL. Just kidding. Good one though.





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