Hi all! This is just the first part of the first chapter because I feel like my writing is really clunky in this part then the rest is fine. In partcilular, I'm looking for feedback on sentence structure and wording. Also, the MC is female but I'm not sure how to make that clear at the beginning.
The drought of the summer made the long grass itch like wheat at my bare calves as I ran from the wailing alarm. The way was lit by a bright moon, but I had to shove my long fringe out of my sweaty face to see where I was damn going.
Sirens started in the distance. I ran like my life depended on it; if I got arrested, my step-dad would kill me.
“Hurry!” a voice shouted somewhere out there in the darkness, but it wasn’t for me. The guys were already leaving me behind. Great, thanks. Why did I let them talk me into this mess?
Something silvery glinted through the gum leaves ahead. A chain-link fence, gleaming in the moonlight. I threw myself up and over it. As my feet hit the ground on the other side, my hoodie tightened around my neck and yanked me back. Crap! I struggled, kicked and thrashed, then realised struggling was futile. I slipped out of my hoodie, leaving it behind.
A root snagged my foot, jerking me out of my sprint. The ground met my face the way a chunk of steak hits the chopping board. "Oomph." I looked back, expecting to see a security guard or a cop gaining on me. The jolt of relief was almost worth the fall; no one had grabbed me - my damn hoodie was just snagged on a loose wire. The grey fabric hung halfway up the fence, looking lonely and abandoned in the moonlight. I scrambled to my feet and took off again.
Breaking through the trees and onto my street, my sneakers now pounded the tarmac. I slowed to a walk as I approached my house, catching my breath. The lights were on and the TV’s chattering flowed through the open window. Could I sneak in so quietly that my family wouldn’t notice me?
Paranoia forced me to spare one last glance behind me, checking my back for cops. There were no police, but something caught my eye, something not quite human...