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16+ Language

i've gotten worse // since we last spoke

by creaturefeature

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

there's a space between each of us that we have
to do something with, because it's all that keeps us
consequential. to some, it is a blessing.
to yourself, it is the end of the world.
there are rituals in place, there are snags and
loopholes of etiquette that allow us to be close;
close, but not too close, and
therefore we are saved.

you texted me yesterday
to remind me you existed somewhere else
in the void, somewhere through association/dissociation
and ceramic. i'm trying to envision it, boys on
porches like a fucked up norman rockwell painting.
i told you many things, about the time
i thought i could coexist with ghosts.

i couldn't, but i guess that's fine.
i think that bringing back the memories
only made things worse. 

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20 Reviews

Points: 349
Reviews: 20

Tue Dec 07, 2021 9:21 pm
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leleparadise wrote a review...

Hey, Lele here for a review

Just wanted to say that this was good piece. It felt more like a conversation than a poem. It’s good. Feels natural, doesn’t feel forced. It sounds like an honest heart to heart.

I love the progression of this poem. From a broad awareness and understanding of what building connections in life is like to your own personal connection. It flows nice. I could sense the mix of regret, acceptance and reluctance.

“ there are rituals in place, there are snags and
loopholes of etiquette that allow us to be close;”

This is my favorite part. Good wordplay.

The way you compare life to a void is interesting.

The only thing I could say is I wish there was a smoother transition from the first and second stanza. Something to help bridge both ideas together better

Other than that, good work. Keep up the writing

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912 Reviews

Points: 22
Reviews: 912

Fri Nov 26, 2021 4:17 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

I imagine that this poem is about revisiting horrible memories and wanting to escape your past,but being unable to,because the memories are overwhelming.You can’t escape them no matter what.You can’t get back to the person you love,because it’s just not the same.Nothing can be the same anymore.I enjoyed the poem.I hope you have a lovely day/night.

"For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which pursued its noise way beneath. The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations; when I placed my head upon my pillow, sleep crept over me; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion."
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein