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cold-weather friends

by bees

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284 Reviews

Points: 1361
Reviews: 284

Thu Sep 16, 2021 3:48 pm
silented1 says...

Characters please. Names!

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81 Reviews

Points: 1597
Reviews: 81

Thu Sep 16, 2021 3:22 pm
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waywardxwallflower wrote a review...

Hello! Wallflower here with a quick review (:

I absolutely love this poem; my jaw hung open as I reached the fourth stanza and saw the parallels. The writing in this poem is lovely; it's often quite simple and real and human, with bits of beautiful poetic words woven in - overall, the way someone speaking would tell this story.

The personal nature of this poem is very real, and the creativity of it is evident in every last line. The parallels between the narrator's person and their plants is absolutely stunning, and the effect it creates is incredibly vivid.

Overall, this was an INCREDIBLE poem: fantastic job!!

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12 Reviews

Points: 97
Reviews: 12

Thu Sep 16, 2021 1:14 am
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Kelisot wrote a review...

Hello, Kelisot here! I'm not sure if this is your poem or you just found it on the Internet... however, whoever created this poem did a good job!
Interestingly, this poem has a calm feeling, and these 3 stanzas tell events happening in a story. First of all, we can see that the narrator is telling a story about creating a shelf upon the mountain, and telling that several visitors visit this location. What I found interesting was the word "asylum" you used there. Asylum can either mean a location with political permission that refugees are either refugees or somewhat similar to a mental hospital. Then suddenly, the second stanza mentions for some unknown reason, this "haven" or the landmark suddenly no longer has visitors, and the narrator has grown "thornbushes" to guard.
It is until the third stanza the narrator realizes these thornbushes do not protect but is also harming the narrator themself. Eventually, to restore the beautiful landmark/haven, the narrator digs out all the thorns and decides to plant the wildflowers, eventually making it turn back to a beautiful place. And it is even noted the visitors themselves have brought the flowers and warmth, making the narrator no longer reside and dwell within the shelf forever.

I think this place could reflect someone's heart or life, this haven mentioning one's mental state. Stanza one could be mentioning one's childhood, their joy. Regardless, they are still on this shelf, stuck.
In Stanza 2, this could be referring to the stage of puberty, where one's thinking, mindsets, and most psychological, social, and physical appearance and state change. This could make sense why the narrator has grown thornbushes within the shelves, making all the people leave.
It is until the 3rd stanza the author realizes what they are doing, eventually creating the path to redemption. I'm not sure if the "visitors" the narrator mentions were past/previous visitors in Stanzas 1 and 2, but they welcome the narrator. Eventually, in the end, the narrator leaves the shelf, now being open.

I have English as my second (or third) language, so I'll quickly apologize if I had said something wrong. But have a great day!

bees says...

thank you for the review!! and yes haha I did write this one (otherwise it would be plagiarism, which we don't allow on this site!)

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1072 Reviews

Points: 134475
Reviews: 1072

Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:11 am
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alliyah says...

Ah just wanted to say, this is a really nice poem mel! It was a very winding, but ultimately peaceful read that felt a little like going on a walk with the speaker - I think the visuals (both in the linguistic imagery and the physical imagery on the page) and the form really added to the piece too. Really enjoyed reading this one!

~ A

bees says...

thank you, alliyah!! <3

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
— Ann Landers