Hi Zenith
Mailice here with a short review!
This was a wonderful poem with a very strong choice of words. I liked how you manage to describe your day with such elegance, which seems beautiful yet sad, as you can read in some of the lines. One can relate to the many points and can wonderfully put oneself in the poem.
All running in synchronicity in a never-ending loop.
I really like this line because I think one can refer it not only to the previous line, but also to the general day that repeats itself all the time and one doesn't do anything new, as it is also mentioned later.
From faraway lands of a fictional show.
I think this is my favourite line because you can extend it to so many aspects than just television or books for example. With the previous line in combination, I even go so far as to say that this "fictional show" refers to one's own life and how we all go through the world wearing masks.
And a whole bunch of physics facts.
Every little bit of information about the bosons and fermions,
Adding to the one before- an infinite joining of dots;
For that is the only way I will ever know how to piece together the being that is 'me'.
This is such a tragic and yet great description, and I think it has its own charm. It seems so realistic, almost as if you have lost all hope and don't even see yourself as living being, but as one day decaying flesh.
This is all that my today was made up of;
And yesterday too and the day before.
At first I didn't like these two lines because they lack the imagination and expressiveness of before. But on reading it a second time, I can say that it's still very good because it describes this grey, neutral everyday mood. There is nothing to experience and only boredom to mingle with the above lines, the music and the media, but even that withers away with each new awakening.
I think ending the poem with a question is well done, firstly because the poem relates to many people and encourages them to ask if they want to change anything, and secondly because I had the impression that the poem also wants to address the reader. This reflection of seeing oneself in the poem brings to light the sad truth that we are all on the ropes of society and capitalism. But I think that's going too far with the interpretation now.
Enjoy the writing and hope for beautiful days ahead!
Mailice.
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