Hey, Zekcede here!
First of all, your poem made me cry tears. Like I am not kidding, I was just sitting at my desk minding my own business, reading poetry on YWS, and came across this, read it, and cried. I'm really glad you labeled this "Art" because that is exactly what it is.
Second, I really like how the rhyme scheme was written "abababcbab" is really interesting, and i would never have thought to do something like that, but i really love how yours turned out.
Third, I really love the repetition in each stanza. The "don't" appearing in every other line makes it even more emotional, because that's exactly how i imagine someone saying this to a(n) (ex)partner.
My favourite line is actually different from the other two reviewers, its actually the first two stanzas, because of all the emotion put into them.
"don't try to stop me
i'm already gone
don't try to stay with me
i'm already done"
These lines are really impactful, and i think that this was amazing. Keep up the good work!
-Z
Points: 299
Reviews: 44
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