Hi WhosabellCanWrite! Saru here for a hopefully helpful review!
I'm going to get constructive criticism out of the way first so we can get on with what was great about this.
One day while he was slithering on his merry way
Do you think 'One day while he was merrily slithering along on his way' might work better?
They got married and had snake babies and the end.
This sentence seems extremely abrupt and slightly unprofessional, as it seems like a run-on sentence. You may want to reword it along the lines of 'They ended up getting married and having 150 baby snakes together. [separate paragraph] The End.'
And... that's it for constructive criticism! This was a cute piece! It was kind of short, but I liked it nonetheless!
Keep writing!
~Saru
Points: 1435
Reviews: 57
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