OKAY SO APPARENTLY I started the first chapter awhile ago, but I just stopped? xD I don't remember the last part honestly, but hopefully reading this will jog my memory! In addition, I sorta skimmed through the precious reviews, so hopefully I'm not being repetitive c:
a belted sword hanging over his back. He wore leather shoulder pads, and around his waist he wore a belt holding several small pouches.
Do belted swords go over your back? I though it was basically a sword attached to a belt around your waist - I could very much be wrong though xD the reason I'm pointing it out is because if the sword is just a regular belt, you don't have to mention he's wearing a belt twice c:
"Arodier Gilmore, Madam Sinestra," one of the Elf-Human Hybrids said, standing as the others fell silent. "It is a great honor--"
"Enough with the niceties," Sinestra interrupted. "We can talk as we eat."
Sinestra xD You're doing a lovely job with characterizing Sinestra - I can see her straightforward, brisk, and maybe even rude personality with the introduction of this chapter
Two sets of warrior twins had come-- Arnold and Alomodia Ridge, red-haired Elves from the distant West, and the Goshawks, dark-haired humans that had famously slain a dragon during a siege in the south.
I love all of these names, especially the "Goshawks" -> that one is super fun and neat cx Also, getting to know all of these people's? accomplishments is super neat. It is a bit overwhelming to get introduced to so many characters and what they did, but if they aren't major players in the story, I don't think it would matter too much
Sinestra turned to the doorway. "Lord Daethdr," she said with a soft smile. "It's been too long, my friend."
The Light Elf dipped his head. "Too long indeed," he answered with a soft smile.
Ooh, I like the bit of glimpse we've gotten into their relationship; I'm thinking they're quite close if the Light Elf can tease Sinestra without her getting mad xD (p.s. I noticed you repeated "soft smile" - I would suggest replacing one of them to have some variety!)
and his blue eyes shined like bright diamonds.
I believe that one something physically shines itself, the past tense is "shone." Shined is used as a verb, like to shine something (make it shiny, not actually shining yourself)
We have all defended our homes in Belecthoria. But now it is our duty to prepare for the future."
Oh dear, what kind of chaos is going to erupt 0.0
He believed that he could save lives without losing his mind, and... he was wrong. With time, he paled, grew darker, never being seen by daylight, He never ate nor slept that I knew of. One day..."
Oh my! I wonder how he tried to save lives, and how that eventually drove him into becoming a necromancer? that does not sound fun, and that must've been quite painful for Sinestra
I killed him. The sun rose at just the right moment, blinding him. His body turned to dust, and what was left of Adrian was no more.
AHH that's the worst, when the characters have to kill someone they love for the sake of the world or whatever </3 that's heartbreaking, I can't imagine how difficult that must've been for Sinestra ( psst, I believe you're missing an end quote c: )
One by one, each person in the room signed their names to the document-- apart from the WereCats, who asked that their paws be used as signatures.
OMG just imagine, I love this line so much ahahah xD
OKAY I had completely forgotten about this, and I'm glad I got back into this!! ^_^ because of the mention of sorcerers and necromancers, I'm getting the hobbit/lord of the ring vibes! c: There is a strong sense of adventure. I think the whole contract thing really established that atmosphere for me. Ooh, and I also found it interesting how all the people in the room agreed to the contract to go on the adventure! I figured some people would back down / have other priorities / or be a little afraid to join, but everyone ended up joining! The room must be filled with some courageous people ~
Sinestra has such a strong personality, and it's quite easily felt. If I had never read anything about her ever, I would feel like I really know her just by reading this. So nice job on that! c:
As always, good luck on your future writings !!! much love <333
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