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16+ Language

America Fighting - Prologue

by Vil


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Prologue

November 8, 2016

London, England

Birkwood stared at the reports she had received at the same time as the rest of the NATO leaders, most of them in their night clothes like she was. Her hair was a mess, and the bright light of the screen in the dark room was almost blinding.

America had been nuked. At least fifty cities, probably more. Nukes believed to be Russian, the American systems were likely hacked. DC was confirmed to be gone, Wilson was most likely dead. Currently no known survivors from the legitimate government.

"Madam Prime Minister?" The French president tilted his head as he said her name. "Are you alright."

"I..." Birkwood trailed off, clenching her jaw together. Then, she said, "An attack on one is an attack on all."

"Si," the Spanish Prime Minister said, "and we have been attacked. We must discuss this--"

"Tomorrow," Birkwood said slowly, trying to steady her breath, "I would like all of us to meet. We need to gather around one person--"

"--we have already chosen, madam," the French president answered her. "You will lead the Free World, and we will follow you."

Shocked, Birkwood nodded and quietly said, "Tomorrow, then. I must... speak with my Cabinet. Goodbye."

The screen went dark, and the other twenty-seven NATO leaders disappeared with the light. A hand touched her shoulder, making Birkwood jump with a quiet yelp.

"It's j-just me," her foreign secretary stammered. "It's j-j-just me, Ellen."

"Loxley," she gasped, clearly startled. "When did you come in?"

"I g-got a c-c-call from a friend in C-Canada," Loxley said sadly. "I needed to c-come in."

"Thank you," Birkwood said quietly, still trying to catch her breath. "Yes, yes, thank you... Loxley?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

'Let's get to work."


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Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:21 pm
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm back for this one finally.

First Impression: Okayyy...I am finally here to read the prologue. Took some time because well reasons that will become apparent soon. And well you know it does its job. Nothing too flashy happening but its not boring either. Doesn't add to much to the mystery of things although I think you threw out a couple of clues maybe. What I really like is the overall tone of this. I like how this happens at pretty much the same time the other one happened but it shows a response...a fight which I think complements what this book's title says its going to be about pretty well.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Birkwood stared at the reports she had received at the same time as the rest of the NATO leaders, most of them in their night clothes like she was. Her hair was a mess, and the bright light of the screen in the dark room was almost blinding.


Ooh that seems about right. At least now we have maybe a sense of when this attack happened. Dunno how it'll help but I did add to the notes on who caused this bombing.

America had been nuked. At least fifty cities, probably more. Nukes believed to be Russian, the American systems were likely hacked. DC was confirmed to be gone, Wilson was most likely dead. Currently no known survivors from the legitimate government.


I feel like you've thrown us a bone in this one. There seems to be an actual clue and then an actual bit of misdirection as well. I'll let you figure out what I mean and if I am right. Hmm...the bombing theory continues to get more interesting by the day.

"I..." Birkwood trailed off, clenching her jaw together. Then, she said, "An attack on one is an attack on all."


OKay that one just reminded me of the Three Musketeers and made me laugh. :)

"--we have already chosen, madam," the French president answered her. "You will lead the Free World, and we will follow you."


I feel like the French president needs a bit more of a french sounding accent there. I mean its not like I have much of an idea how its done besides adding a bunch of "ze" to it but umm if you have a si in there there should probably be something French there as well.

"It's j-just me," her foreign secretary stammered. "It's j-j-just me, Ellen."

"Loxley," she gasped, clearly startled. "When did you come in?"


Ahh I see Loxley being important right from the start.

"Thank you," Birkwood said quietly, still trying to catch her breath. "Yes, yes, thank you... Loxley?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

'Let's get to work."


Nice...interesting choice of ending there. I mean we already know what happened after and yet you still choose a kind of cliffhangery thing but I like the tone of that ending. It perfectly captures "America Fighting" as opposed to the ending that you put on the prologue for "America Gone" which was much more of a things are destroyed tone.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall it was a really nice little prologue and your chapters are well good as always do I really have to keep saying this every time?. And that's about all really. Not much to say in this prologue besides *cough* theories *cough*. Looking forward for the first chapter!

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Image




Vil says...


I may or may not have dropped a few clues... I can confirm that Stringbean has guessed the culprit's previous job, and I can also confirm that the culprit will be appearing in the second chapter, though she will remain nameless.

I'm curious to see if you're on the right track, though. What are some of our theories?



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Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:18 am
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Lezuli wrote a review...



Greetings to you! I'm here for a review of this prologue. I've read a few chapters of the novel, so this was nice to read as well.
It stays true to the feel of the original chapters while providing extra knowledge and promising to hook in anyone who hasn't read the main story line. Even though this was mostly dialogue, you do a really good job of making us feel for the character's emotions.
One thing I'm curios about, is...can you call this a prologue since this came after the main story line? (Sorry, this is a weird question). Maybe this is more like a bonus chapter or something.
Overall, I totally liked this chapter! I hope this helped you!




Vil says...


I think I can-- this did, after all, happen literally the same day as the original Prologue-- just a jump back in time.

Thanks for the review!



Lezuli says...


Yeah, I had no idea. I was just curious!



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Tue Sep 15, 2020 9:00 pm
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EM8650 wrote a review...



Hey there.
I love the way you have written the "America Fighting - Prologue." You have created the base for a really interesting story. I can't find any grammar or spelling mistakes so great job there. One suggestion i do have is that if the president is french it would be good to see maybe a short sentence written in the language.
Overall Fantastic job. i am looking forward to reading more chapters as the come out.
Keep up the phenomenal writing.




Vil says...


Thanks for the review!




Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.
— Welcome to Night Vale