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Calmotides: Heart of the Ocean

by Tuckster


A/N: This is for a school project, where we were assigned to write our own myths using original characters and not borrowing from any other cultures. Mine is an explanation of the tides. I would appreciate any feedback on this, and I will be editing this constantly as I edit it for my paper. Thanks for reading!

Calmotides: Heart of the Ocean

Long ago, when there was only one land mass and no seas, Calmotides cried out to the great god Pulastrings in misery. “Lord Pulastrings, I am drying up, and nothing provides relief. Only drinking water can help, and my skin is cracking, my hair is falling out, my mouth is dry. I beg you, think of a way to end my torment. I am ready to die!”

Pulastrings was greatly distressed, and he called his most trusted messenger, Spedipace, over to his throne. “Spedipace, most honored and fastest of foot, I have a mission for you. Go and find the healer god Fixmawon so that he can come and provide relief for the great goddess Calmotides.”

“Your wish is my command, O Great Pulastrings.” Spedipace bowed and then ran through the corridors of the palace, down the great mountain the palace was situated on, through the towns and villages and hills and valleys, along the rivers and beside the lakes, never slowing until he ran into the trickster Trexer.

"Spedipace, my old friend, you again attempt to trespass on my forest? You know the rules, to pass you must beat me in a duel," Trexer purred, drawing his long, elegant sword.

“I have no weapon, Trexer, I come unarmed. Let me pass in peace.”

“You must earn your passage, Spedipace.”

“You still want to fight with swords? Helmablo has a much more effective way."

Trexer paused. “What way does Helmablow use?"

“Oh, you haven’t heard? The Dark Knight Helmablo uses a game of riddles to befuddle and confuse all his visitors, and no one has escaped so far.”

This plan was appealing to Trexer. “Very well, then, that’s what we will do. How does this game work?”

“Simple. I, as the traveler, give you a riddle to prove my intelligence. If you say, ‘I surrender’, then I can pass through. If you think of the answer, you can slay me.”

“Give me your riddle, for there has never been a challenge I cannot rise to,” Trexer boasted.

“At the end of a battle, when the losing team realizes that they do not stand a chance against the might of the dominant army, what do they say?”

“I surrender!” Trexer exclaimed in glee.

Spedipace shrugged. “Since you cannot think of an answer, then I will be on my way.”

Trexer realized his stupidity, but too late. Enraged, he drew his sword, but the hand of Prova, god of justice, stopped him. “He has won, Trexer. Allow him through," Prova's deep voice boomed. Spedipace turned and continued on his way, leaving Trexer fuming behind.

The great healer god was outside in his garden collecting herbs, and when he saw Spedipace, he welcomed him. “Greetings, Spedipace. What brings you to my cottage today?”

“I come with a message from Pulastrings himself. He wishes you to come to his palace and think of a way to cease the ailments of Calmotides, who is drying up and cannot find a cure. However, I have no doubt that you will be able to find a cure.”

Fixmawon smiled. "We shall see, my friend. I do have an idea, but I will get the king's permission first."

The two of them traveled back to Lord Pulastring’s palace by a different route so they could avoid the trickster Trexer, and they arrived near sunset. They traveled through the palace hallways until they entered the great throne room.

Fixmawon stepped up to where Pulastrings was seated. “Sir, I have discovered the answer to what has caused Calmotides so much agony. You see, she has spent so much time in the water and loves it so much, it has become a part of her, and for her to be separated from it causes her unbearable agony. My solution is for you to put Calmotides in a sea of your creation so she can keep her skin hydrated.”

Lord Pulastrings nodded. “That is an excellent idea, Fixmawon. I accept that counsel.” Pulastrings stood and stepped outside onto the mountain overlooking the void that showed the end of the known world. He took a deep breath and summoned all the storm clouds, pulling them from the ends of the world and then causing them to pour out rain, filling up the void with water, reaching down into the deepest depths and filling it with more water than had been seen since the creation of the gods.

After the water was at a suitable height, Pulastrings dismissed the rain clouds and filled them with water once again so they could go deliver to the village, waiting eagerly for their weekly showers.

And Calmotides was brought, and the great Pulastrings lifted her into the newly formed sea. She swam out to the center, and with every inhale the sea seemed to breathe with her, flowing in, and with every exhale waves pounded against the shore. And she still lives on, in the heart of the sea, causing the tides to churn and pushing the waves upon the sand.


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Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:23 pm
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Casanova wrote a review...



Heya, Tuck, Casanova here to do another review for you.

The first comment I have on this piece is that it's a bit.. Dry? Compared to some of your other work. It starts off slow, and is really a bit *extremely* detailed, pushing the story along with adjectives instead of actions and interactions, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but which I thought wasn't exactly a great way to start this out. But that's just my opinion.

Anyway, onward. The next thing I would like to talk about is your characters, in which I think you did a good job starting them off, but towards the end of the article really just dropped them off. I would think you could describe them a bit better, really show their personality, and have them just go on off that and see how it goes, do what makes it feel natural to you and see how you would like the character to be. See what you think would be the best method for making your characters feel natural and see how you think you would be in that situation, and go off that.

The next thing is plot, and at the beginnings I really don't have too much to say on it, but in this... "Article, Essay(I'll get to that in a moment) " it just goes by ever so slowly.

The next thing is that you have it labeled as an article or essay, but it doesn't really read as such. There's no source or anything, and not even saying what it's for, leads me to believe that I don't know what it's for, nor if this was an accurate review haha.

Anyway I think this is good, and I think you should keep going.

Sincerely,
Casanova




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Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:35 pm
WyvrynScribe wrote a review...



Heyo! Let me first say that I find the overall story great and you are going in the right direction, but as always things can and will get better.
Only drinking water can help, and my skin is cracking, my hair is falling out, my mouth is dry.
This feels a bit too long and/or out of order, perhaps putting the ailments first and then the solution, or making the sentences separate.
Also, just because you're making a mythos, may I suggest having family relations between the gods, as this is something that happens a lot in polytheistic pantheons. Just a tip. Now, for the names, I have a little guide to making the god names if you wish to change them (which if you don't that's fine; puns ftw!). So first, what is this god explaining, and how were they made? For instance, let's say Spedipace explains the wind and came from the first breath of Pulastrings. Make up a word for wind and breath, something that sounds like it or like the sensation it gives or something, and smush them together. So let's say wind is Huwah and breath is Kehe. Huwahe, Huwakehe, Kehuwah, you can go on and on with combinations until you find something you like, and if you can't, change the word or what the origin and purpose are. Also, good luck!




Tuckster says...


Thanks for the review! Since DemonGoddess loved the names, I think I might keep them, and I got some feedback from friends in my class that it adds a little bit of humor. I put that sentence the way it is because it's a rhetorical device and we were told to include a certain number of those in our paper, and in future stories I will expand the relationship between gods, but I didn't want to get too complicated, especially since I was pushing the page limit. Thanks again for your feedback!



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Sun Sep 24, 2017 7:34 pm
zaminami wrote a review...



Hello, MJTucker! It's Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside...

STOP! Grammar time!



Again, these are most likely typos.

Helmablow


This is probably a typo but I wanted to point it out.

Trexer realized his stupidity, but too late.


Put "he was" in the second part of the sentence.

Calmotides: Heart of the Ocean


I would put this in italics to show that that it's the title.

Confusing things:



Only drinking water can help, and my skin is cracking, my hair is falling out, my mouth is dry.


How does Calmotides know what water is if there's only one land mass and no water?

Other comments, reactions, and fangirling:



The names, man. The names.

They made me laugh so hard. Omg. Pulastrings. That's literally the best name I've ever heard of on Earth. I swear, you should make this a Satire one, not a Historical Fiction piece.

Spedipace shrugged. “Since you cannot think of an answer, then I will be on my way.”


OH. OH SNAP. GET DUNKED ON SON.

Overall:



This was actually pretty funny, and very original. Nice job. **isn't good at complimenting**

Give me your soul --

Kara

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Tuckster says...


Thanks for the review! There is water, just not seas, and there are rivers and lakes and stuff (like I briefly mentioned). I'm glad you liked the names, since I was considering taking out those little jokes. I'll probably keep them then :) My favorite is "Fixmawon," which is like, "Fix ma wound". Little puns. Thanks for reviewing!



zaminami says...


Ah...

FIXMAWOUND BISH

sorry not sorry




I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble.
— Rudyard Kipling