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Does Dragon Meat Even Taste Good? - 1 (LMS)

by Thundahguy


Twin piercing roars echoed throughout the blazing red mountains as the two beasts engaged one another. One, a devilfooted tiger, baring its razor sharp fangs. The other, an irontailed roc, smaller than usual but just as fierce. Between them, a half-eaten slab of goat meat. The two were both weak from exhaustion and hunger, but forced themselves into the engage, lest they lose the one potential source of food each could find.

Both puffed their chests to intimidate the other. Neither attempt worked, however, as they were too hungry to worry about fear. Seeing no available moves, they slowly continued to circle each other, making sure they conserved the little energy they had.

The roc decided to move first. It flapped its wings, shooting up into the air before spreading its wings to slow its ascent. Once it achieved sufficient height, it dived downwards towards its enemy.

The tiger didn't wait for the roc to come to it, though. It extended its claws, digging them into the ground before pulling two large slabs out of the ground. Grabbing one with its mouth, it tossed it as hard as it could towards the incoming bird.

The roc easily dodged the flying chunk of rock trying to hit it, though it had ruined his attack route. It looped once in the air as the tiger threw the second slab. The bird cawed once before grabbing it with its talons, breaking it in its hold. The sight threw the tiger off, but it recovered before it began to run away. Seeing its chance, the roc dived again, aimed straight at the goat meat.

The tiger growled as it stepped on its front legs before pivoting towards the bird. Forcing the last amount of energy it had, it jumped, breaking the uneven ground it stood on and shot straight towards the bird.

As the two beasts approached each other, betting it all on their last attack, neither could expect the arrival of a third player into the mix. From above both, a black mass jumped off a cliff before diving towards them. Just before fang met beak and talon met claw, the mass grabbed both necks before continuing its descent, dragging both with it.

Letting out a fearsome roar, the black dragon slammed both monsters into the ground. The cracking of bones and bodies couldn't be heard over the sound of the ground collapsing underneath the three. Feeling the earth cave in underneath its feet, the dragon flapped its wings into the air, carrying the two dead monsters in its claws all the way back up to the cliff it leaped from.

“Meat’s on the menu, boys!” the black dragon roared as it landed on the cliff edge. It threw the bodies of the roc and tiger in front of the green and blue dragons laying in a tiny cave. They excitedly shot up and ran towards the dragon, mouths frothing.

“Big Sis!” the dragons exclaimed. The black dragon landed on its hind legs before flexing before the two. Her black scales bulged from the muscles hidden underneath.

“That’s Big Slick to you, bastards,” Big Slick laughed. She picked up the roc with her mouth before handing it to the green dragon. “Tank, char this for me, will ya?”

“I don’t know…” Tank muttered, eyeing the tiger. “When it’s this fresh, devilfooted tigers are more delicious.”

“Fruity can handle that,” Big Slick said. She turned to the blue dragon. “Ya don’t mind, do ya?”

“Hardly,” Fruity said. He held up the tiger by its tail before opening his mouth. Blue light shone from underneath his scales as a frigid mist left his mouth. Quickly, the tiger turned blue before icicles formed along its body. “Freezing complete. It should last for a few days if we don’t eat it before then.”

“Still, a thawed tiger loses a lot of its original flavour,” Tank muttered as he took the roc from Big Slick. He started to pluck the bird of its feathers, muttering when he accidentally tore into its flesh.

“What are you doing, Tank?” Fruity asked. “Just burn the chicken and we can eat.”

“This is a delicate process, Fruity,” Tank grumbled. He laid on the ground as he plucked the roc’s underside. “Burning the feathers releases a noxious odour that completely ruins the dish. I can’t just rip the skin off as well, since that’s the most delicious part!”

“Tank, I understand where you’re coming from. I do. Tasty food is good food,” Fruity sighed. “But remember, dear Tanky. We’re in the middle of a depression! We have to take what we can get!”

Tank winced under Fruity’s verbal assault, nearly ripping into the roc’s skin once again. Even he knew that he couldn’t just pick and choose like he could before. He continued to pluck the bird while thinking about how they got into this depression in the first place.

Ever since the mysterious party of monsters nearly wiped out the ecosystem several years ago, the Eimriantag Mountains have been in disarray due to the scarcity of food. Almost no herbivores were left after the initial culling, leaving the carnivores to either leave or fight each other for food.

The dragons were perhaps affected the most. As beings far greater and smarter than regular monsters, they knew that they couldn’t move away from the Eimriantag Mountains. Their presence would create an equally chaotic disturbance in any ecosystem they moved to. Only the Mountains, made by the Great Dragon Eimriantag, could contain them. As such, while they had no problem surviving after the culling, they knew their end would some eventually.

“There! Finished!” Tank exclaimed, holding the featherless bird up. Fruity and Big Slick turned to him with glazed expressions in their eyes.

“Then cook it,” they muttered in unison. Tank winced from their gazes as he sparked a flame in his mouth. He began to spray the bird with superheated gas, making sure the skin roasted at a constant temperature. The smell spread out along the cliff, causing Fruity and Big Slick’s mouths to water.

After a few careful minutes of roasting, Tank threw the roc on the ground in triumph. “Hahah! Finished! Bon appe-tite-ee!”

Fruity and Big Slick ignored Tank’s casual mispronunciation of the word ‘appetite’ as they dug into the cooked roc, using their claws to separate the meat into pieces before stuffing it in their mouths. Tank blew smoke out of his nostrils smugly before reaching for his own piece. Big Slick slapped his claw away.

“Hey, Tank. You still haven’t finished your goat from last night,” Big Slick mumbled, mouth half-full.

“Yeah, Tank. Finish your goat and then you can have a piece of the chicken,” Fruity mumbled, mouth nearly full.

“Oh come on, guys. You know I hate goat,” Tank growled. Fruity couldn’t properly digest goat meat and Big Slick was allergic. Tank didn’t have any health problems revolving around chevon, though due to having to eat it a lot, he developed a fond hatred of it’s taste.

“We’re in a depression, Tank. We need to eat what we can get,” Big Slick argued, swallowing her first chunk of roc meat. “This is really good. You are really good at this.”

“Don’t be wasteful, Tank,” Fruity agreed, already on his third mouthful.

“You guys…” Tank sighed. Although it was a very scummy move, he understood where they were coming from. Sighing defeatedly, he skulked towards the cave where a pile of dead goats lay, frozen through Fruity’s ice breath. He pulled out one before firing a ball of molten slag at it, charring it immediately. He stuck one bit in his mouth, shuddering at the horrible taste.

There were specific parts Tank could stomach, such as the organs or the skin. Once he had scooped out as much as he could, he threw the rest down the cliff side as a way to attract some more scavengers.

As Tank shoved the handful of organs he harvested into his mouth, he gazed up at the reddish black sky above the volcanoes littering the Eimriantag Mountains, forever drooling rivers of lava. Despite being forced to eat goat occasionally, this life of casually waiting for Big Slick to get food for the three wasn’t all that bad. He still felt, though, that there was something greater he could. Some call to action he hadn’t received yet. Some otherworldly purpose he was destined-

“Gah! Bit an intestine!” Tank gagged, spitting out the tube from his mouth. He scraped his tongue before throwing the rest of the organs down into the pit. He laid his head on the ground, trying to air out his mouth.

A few minutes later, Fruity and Big Slick strutted back into the cave. Their stomachs bulged from the meal they had eaten. Tank wept silently, thinking there was no more roc. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when Big Slick dropped a leg torn off early in front of the green dragon before patting his head and following Fruity deeper into the cave.

“Big Sis!” Tank exclaimed silently. He graciously accepted the bird leg, eating it in one bite, rolling around in delight from its delicious taste.


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405 Reviews


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Tue Jul 10, 2018 4:04 am
Eros wrote a review...



Hello there, Thundahguy !!

A review is brought to you by Eros here !!

The first thing comes the title... Actually i was just scrolling down the Green room and saw the part two or chapter two of the novel, "Does the dragon meat even taste good"

The title was super attractive and the content was that attractive too. The starting paragraph itself catches the attention of the the readers and the sequencial paragraphs maintains the attention of the readers too.

The whole chapter is very well organized and very well presented in the form of paragraphs and dialogues studded like gems in between.
The chapter appeared to me like a cake with dialogues in the form of cherries!

The style of writing is very smooth. The language is easy to understand and it gives a clear idea of what is going on in the story.

This is a very good start and is a big blast of suspense. I want to know more about the dragons, the blue and the green ones. They seem the most interesting characters.

I like the way you have started the chapter with a fierce war between the bird, roc--- as you have mentioned and the tiger. I love the way you have described the characters and have made us, the readers familier to them.

I got a feeling of Tank being wise when I read about how he threw the organs as a bait you know.. to attract the other scavengers. But then my impression changed about him when I came to know that there was nothing of the roc that was left for him. If he was wise, as I felt before, he would have announced some reserved part of the roc before going into the cave to eat the goat meat.

But that made the story even more interesting.

I love how you described the elements of nature, especially the Mountains... The lava and all. It was beautiful.

I loved the whole piece. I don't know much about the grammar but I don't feel anything incorrect there.

We read not just to review and for entertainment, but we read for learning some new things. I have learned the style of dialogues and how to make it more effective from this chapter of yours. Loved the whole piece.

Great work !

Keep writing such beautiful, awesome and amazing stuff and we would love to keep reading them. And reviewing them!

~Eros. :D




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Mon Jul 09, 2018 8:44 pm
inktopus wrote a review...



Hey! Ink here to hold up my end of the bargain, so let's get to it!

First, I have a few nitpicks.

The two were both weak from exhaustion and hunger, but forced themselves into the engage, lest they lose the one potential source of food each could find.

You used 'engage' incorrectly here. If you want to keep the sentence structure, you could say "but forced themselves into a fight." Alternatively, you could keep "engage" and write "forced themselves to engage."

Tank winced under Fruity’s verbal assault, nearly ripping into the roc’s skin once again.

What Fruity said didn't really seem like a verbal assault. To be honest, it didn't even seem like a lecture. More of a reminder

“Big Sis!” Tank exclaimed silently.

How can one speak silently?

I think that this beginning could have been written a bit better. You start with some action, which is something I like to see. However, I think that spending a bit less time on the fight would improve this. It takes a while for the fight to become directly involved with the main characters. I think that in this case, you should perhaps start it right when Big Slick jumps in and kills the roc and tiger. If you do that, you put the focus on your characters right from the beginning.

I also think that you used a bit too much exposition. There are other ways to show the audience that there's a food shortage. Having characters talk about things can be a great way of teaching the audience about the circumstances of your setting, but I don't think it's the best choice here. The dragons all already know about the depression. There's not really a need to discuss it at length. I think just showing how hungry they are, and how scarce food really is would show it better.

I also have to wonder what you mean by "culling." Did someone go in and kill a bunch of dragons off so there's more food for the rest? If you mean a bunch dying off from a food shortage, I think you should use a different word for clarity.

I see the potential in this, but I don't think that you've tapped into it yet. It's rough, and that's okay. I also think that you could add in a bit more humor, but maybe there will be more for that later.

I hope my review helped. I welcome any questions or comments you have on my feedback!

~Ink




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Wed Jul 04, 2018 2:49 pm
Clairia wrote a review...



Hey there. Arden here to review your work.

I've found the best way to review pieces is to analyze them from top to bottom, so let's begin by doing that.

Twin piercing roars echoed throughout the blazing red mountains as the two beasts engaged one another. One, a devilfooted tiger, baring its razor sharp fangs. The other, an irontailed roc, smaller than usual but just as fierce. Between them, a half-eaten slab of goat meat. The two were both weak from exhaustion and hunger, but forced themselves into the engage, lest they lose the one potential source of food each could find.


I enjoyed this as an opening paragraph. It began with good description of the characters (which is always important) and ended with another introduction to the next paragraph--the fight to claim the goat meat (which is clearly placed as valuable in this situation) between two beasts. I think it flows well. The only small nitpick I have is that (as the previous reviewer stated) "engaged" wouldn't be the proper term/noun here. Perhaps "each beast focused it's attention on the other" or something along those lines.

The roc decided to move first. It flapped its wings, shooting up into the air before spreading its wings to slow its ascent. Once it achieved sufficient height, it dived downwards towards its enemy.
The tiger didn't wait for the roc to come to it, though. It extended its claws, digging them into the ground before pulling two large slabs out of the ground. Grabbing one with its mouth, it tossed it as hard as it could towards the incoming bird.
The roc easily dodged the flying chunk of rock trying to hit it, though it had ruined his attack route. It looped once in the air as the tiger threw the second slab. The bird cawed once before grabbing it with its talons, breaking it in its hold. The sight threw the tiger off, but it recovered before it began to run away. Seeing its chance, the roc dived again, aimed straight at the goat meat.
The tiger growled as it stepped on its front legs before pivoting towards the bird. Forcing the last amount of energy it had, it jumped, breaking the uneven ground it stood on and shot straight towards the bird.

Not much to critique about this. A good, well-detailed fight scene that I enjoyed.

As the two beasts approached each other, betting it all on their last attack, neither could expect the arrival of a third player into the mix. From above both, a black mass jumped off a cliff before diving towards them.

This was a wonderful introduction to one of our main characters. My first impression of the story would be that the roc & tiger would be our protagonists, and I was pleasantly surprised to be proven wrong.

“Meat’s on the menu, boys!” the black dragon roared as it landed on the cliff edge. It threw the bodies of the roc and tiger in front of the green and blue dragons laying in a tiny cave. They excitedly shot up and ran towards the dragon, mouths frothing.
“Big Sis!” the dragons exclaimed. The black dragon landed on its hind legs before flexing before the two. Her black scales bulged from the muscles hidden underneath.

It was also nice to have this epic fight scene blossom into a female dragon just bringing some food home for her brothers. The flow, as I mentioned before, is lovely. I didn't have any problems with it.

“Tank, I understand where you’re coming from. I do. Tasty food is good food,” Fruity sighed. “But remember, dear Tanky. We’re in the middle of a depression! We have to take what we can get!”

An insight into the "time period" which I thought to note as a small detail that satisfied my writer's brain.

The dragons were perhaps affected the most. As beings far greater and smarter than regular monsters, they knew that they couldn’t move away from the Eimriantag Mountains. Their presence would create an equally chaotic disturbance in any ecosystem they moved to. Only the Mountains, made by the Great Dragon Eimriantag, could contain them. As such, while they had no problem surviving after the culling, they knew their end would some eventually.

Gotta love that backstory. Honestly a great peak at their past, with a bit of a sad touch at the end.

“Hahah! Finished! Bon appe-tite-ee!”
Fruity and Big Slick ignored Tank’s casual mispronunciation of the word ‘appetite’ as they dug into the cooked roc, using their claws to separate the meat into pieces before stuffing it in their mouths.

A+. This is so funny to me for no particular reason.

As Tank shoved the handful of organs he harvested into his mouth, he gazed up at the reddish black sky above the volcanoes littering the Eimriantag Mountains, forever drooling rivers of lava.

Satisfying imagery.

Overall I enjoyed this very much. A good read. I'll probably continue to follow this story.

Thanks for sharing,

Arden




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Mon Jul 02, 2018 10:31 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



Hey Thunda, sorry for not following through on saying I'd review the rest of the chapters of Merry Band of Monsters. I do plan on going back to it, but for now I'm kinda on an LMS reviewing kick!

Nit-picks and nice moments:

The two were both weak from exhaustion and hunger, but forced themselves into the engage

I don't think "engage" can be a noun here.

Seeing its chance, the roc dived again, aimed straight at the goat meat.

Should probably be "aiming" here.

Ever since the mysterious party of monsters nearly wiped out the ecosystem several years ago, the Eimriantag Mountains have been in disarray due to the scarcity of food.

I think that "have" should probably be "had".

As such, while they had no problem surviving after the culling, they knew their end would some eventually.

Just a typo.

though due to having to eat it a lot, he developed a fond hatred of it’s taste.

That is an adorable oxymoron ^.^

He still felt, though, that there was something greater he could.

I think you're missing a "do" at the end of that sentence.

“Big Sis!” Tank exclaimed silently.

If this is silent it should probably be in italics rather than speech marks. It's a really nice line though ^.^

Overall:

My feedback for this is actually remarkably similar to my feedback on your other first chapter I reviewed. The characters are delightful, as is the tone, but I actually don't have that much in terms of setting or plot.

I don't really know what the cave looks like, and I think some description of homely touches would have been really nice. Would also have added to characterisation but you have that down pretty well anyway, so that wouldn't really be the main reason to add it.

I also don't really no where this is going. There's no suspenseful ending, no hook that should come from the first chapter. But again, like the last one, the characters are so interesting that if I was a reader that is what would keep me reading anyway.

Pacing is slightly more off than the last one though. I think too much time is spent on the first scene (which to be fair is a good idea, all of a sudden killing what seems to be the main animals is abrupt enough that it's funny) and the eating of the goat. Both are useful scenes that I really value, but they're both just a bit long to sustain my interest. You ever seen Eragon? In the third book there's like a whole chapter making a sword - not quite that level, but you get the idea.

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)





No, it's not that you didn't succeed. You accomplished a lot, but, if you want to touch people, don't concentrate so much on rhyme and metre. Think more about what you want to say instead of how you're saying it.
— LCDR Geordi La Forge