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A Merry Band of Monsters - Chapter 3

by deleted221222


An unholy roar pierced the morning sky, waking everyone in quaint strange Stronglen. Villagers prepared their weapons against the possible demon assault, while the demons shifted into their true forms, ready for an all-out brawl. They lined both sides of the village, waiting for the other to strike first.

Grace walked out of the Inn, unaware of the apparent battlefield. He stretched his arms, before letting out another ear-shattering roar. He wiped his droopy eyes, realizing everyone was looking back at him.

"Oh, sorry mates," Grace apologized. The demons grouchily shifted back into human form while the villagers dropped their weapons. Both sides grumpily gave up on the fight and went back into their homes, wanting to get some more rest.

"You really dropped the ball, didn't you," Aria muttered, rubbing her eyes while holding a toy ball under her arm.

"Good morning, Aria. Did you get enough sleep?" Grace asked, stretching.

"I was. Until you started yawning, anyways."

"Sorry about that."

Gallant was the next out of the inn, horribly bloodied but in one piece. He rushed at Grace, before putting him into a chokehold and grabbing his horns. "Do ya think you can just kill a man to get a piece of meat out of him?"

"My horns! Not my horns!" Grace begged, trying to keep his hood up.

"Well, if you got something to say, then say it!"

"I'm sorry! Now please, let go of my horns!"

Gallant loosened his hold on the lizardman, before grabbing his waist and suplexing him. Grace's horns pierced through his hood and lodged themselves into the ground as Gallant slipped underneath him, dusting off his hands. "Apology accepted."

"I'm surprised to see you alive, Mr. Sir Gallant," Aria said. "I thought the lich was going to consume your soul or something like that."

"You're surprisingly unfazed by my death, you know?"

"It happens here a lot. Especially with liches."

"Well, for your information, Condiment can try to kill me, but it ain't going to work!" Gallant pumped his fist before a lightning bolt struck him on the back of his head. He fell over, once again paralyzed.

"It's good to see you too, Mr. 'Lord Vegemite, your future god'."

"You really piss me off, child. No one has ever talked back that much and lived," Vegemite muttered, floating out of the inn up to the three. He wore the same white mask as he did the day before. "Your subservience is perhaps the only reason you've escaped death so many times."

"Just doing what you told me to," Aria replied, bouncing the ball on the ground. "Are you three going to go into the Demon King's land?"

"Not today, no. I’ve been generating too much positive magic, so I'll be spending the day draining it."

"I've been dying too much lately. I want to actually sleep," Gallant slurred.

"I have nothing to do... Well, besides getting unstuck," Grace muttered, struggling to stand up. Vegemite flicked his wrist, and the lizardman shot up from the ground onto his feet. "Well, now I got nothing to do."

"I'll leave you to it, then," Aria said, walking away, ball in hand. Vegemite floated away while Gallant crawled back into the inn. Grace looked to both of them, confused as to which one he should go with before they disappeared.

"Hey, wait for me," Grace called out to Aria, his last hope. She looked back as the lizardman sprinted towards her, stopping and sliding past her straight into a building. He recovered quickly, however, and jaunted to her side. "Mind if I come with you?"

"Are you sure? I'm not going to be doing anything."

"Then we can just not do anything together!"

"...Whatever floats your boat," Aria muttered, resuming her walk. Grace happily followed behind her, trying to fix his hood to hide his horns. A few villagers and demons that hadn't entered their homes yet watched the two with despicable eyes, but both didn't seem to mind.

At the edge of Stronglen was a single short fence. Aria climbed up and sat, looking outwards at forest extending out. Grace looked around for a moment, before sitting on the ground, his head still above Aria's.

She spun the ball in her hands, sometimes bouncing on the ground, but otherwise kept her eyes out on the road. Grace sat quietly, sometimes scratching his back against the post, sometimes picking at the dirt, and sometimes letting out a hellish yawn.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Grace asked.

"Waiting," Aria answered blankly.

"For what?"

"Someone."

"Who?"

"Someone special."

"How special?"

"Do you not understand I don't want to answer," Aria muttered, bouncing her ball again. Its spin caused it to bounce forwards away from her. She clicked her tongue, before jumping off the fence. Grace jumped to his feet to follow her.

"I'm kind of an idiot, like Veggy says," Grace replied, scratching the back of his head. Aria groaned, before picking up her ball again. "So, why do you have a ball? You don't seem to be playing with anyone else."

"It's...a gift from my dad," Aria finally answered, looking down at her toy. "One of the only few he gave me."

"Ah, that's nice. My dad left me a bunch of stuff, though Mum told me that it was just what he had on him when she killed him. So, want to play ball?"

"What?"

"Ball. You know, tossing it between us. It's more fun with more than one person."

"I don't want to play ball."

"C'mon. Just a little kick. Do it for ol' Gracie."

Aria contemplated it for a moment, before sighing. She dropped the ball onto the ground before kicking it lightly towards Grace. It rolled slowly, but it seemed to excite the lizardman.

He kicked the ball with blinding speed. It shot forwards through the trees, breaking the air with a shockwave. Grace’s face held a gleeful smile until he realized what he had done.

“Nice shot,” Aria commented, looking down at the unearthed ground where he had kicked.

“Aria, I… I’m so sorry. I… I just… Well, I never got to play ball before, so…” Grace stuttered, trying to come up with a reason.

“It’s fine. That ball was old anyway.” Aria shuffled back to the fence post. Grace could feel the guilt pile up on him before he stamped his foot on the ground.

“D-don’t worry. I’ll… I’ll go get it!” Grace exclaimed, before dashing through the path the ball he carved. Aria watched him leave for a moment before sighing. The ball was old. She could probably get a new one from the few coins patrons would drop, or steal one from the other kids. The ball had no intrinsic value.

Yet, for some reason, she could feel a few drops form in her eyes. Why? It was just a stupid ball. There was no reason for her to obsess over it so.

“Got it!”

Aria looked up to see Grace, standing proudly with her toy ball in his hands. His cloak was dirtied but he held a wide grin on his face. He tossed the ball lightly into the air before headbutting it. Aria grabbed onto it as she fell off the fence, landing on her back.

“Aria! Are you okay?” Grace asked, rushing to her side.

“You… You got it back…” Aria mouthed, feeling the rubbery ball on her chest. It was filled with more air than when Grace had kicked it and smelled a little funny.

“Yeah. Luckily, it didn't rip. Demon leather works wonders, eh? It had lost all of its air, so I had to refill it. Warning, though. Don't try and light it on fire."

"...Thank you," Aria said. She cracked a slight smile. Grace paused for a second, before patting her roughly on the head. "H-hey! What are you doing?"

"S-sorry!" Grace exclaimed, raising his hand. "It's just... You were really cute, that I couldn't help but pet you."

Aria squinted at Grace. "Pedophelia is a major crime that can result in over twenty years of imprisonment."

"Hey! Don't quote laws at me! I don't mean it like that. It's like... Like a puppy! You know, so cute and squishy, that you can't help but try to pet it."

"Bestiality is a minor crime that can result in up to two years of imprisonment," Aria recalled monotonously. She watched Grace freak out for a moment before giggling to herself. The lizardman paused when he realized he was being made fun of and curled up in a ball facing away from her. "It was just a joke."

"You don't tell good jokes," Grace pouted. Aria walked up to him and patted his back, trying to cheer him up.

"Well, I should work on it, then."

The lizardman looked up from his knees to see Aria, still smiling. "You should really keep that smile on. You're much cuter with it on," Grace said, pointing his finger at her face. Her sizable grin died down when she realized it.

"I'm not cute,' Aria grumbled, picking up and holding the ball close to her. "No one thinks that."

"Well, I do. Gallant might if he gets to know you. Veggy hates you, but he always hates cute things."

"That's because you're outsiders. No one here thinks that the daughter of the man that sold the town to demons is cute," Aria stated. She saw Grace's look of confusion before sighing. "My dad was the old mayor. When the war finished, he offered shelter to the demon refugees living here. Everyone didn't like that, so he left the village one night, leaving me behind."

The gears started to fit together in Grace's head. "You're waiting for your dad..."

Aria nodded, before walking back and climbing up the post. She gazed out, once again looking as downtrodden as she was before. Grace thought for a moment, before sitting beside her on the ground. "I never met my dad. I'd like to have met him. He was supposedly some kind of hero or something."

"...Your mom killed him, right?"

"Yeah. Admittedly, I never really spoke to Mum either. She liked to keep me at a distance, at least until she was killed."

"Who killed her?"

"The chosen one. I can't really fault him, though. Killing evil elder dragons is part of the job description."

"Oh... Wait, what?" Aria asked, dumbfounded.

"Here, let me let you in on a little secret." Grace looked around for anyone else, then lifted the back of his cloak, revealing two curled draconic wings.

"You're a dragon."

"Half-dragon. My dad was… freaky, to say the least."

"Okay then..." Aria whispered. Again, it wasn't the weirdest thing that happened in Stronglen, but it was high up there. "So, why are you telling me this?"

"Because, you’re all moody about how your dad sold your entire village out, and here I am, full of happiness and joy with a dead dad and a dragon for a mum. It's not like you're the only here suffering. Remember, lots of things have horns.”

“I guess… I didn’t think about like that.”

“That’s what I said! Just be happy you got something in common with someone,” Grace exclaimed. He started to laugh with the same hellish tone as his yawning. The sight of a smiling lizardman emitting this draconic roar caused Aria to giggle a little, prompting Grace to point at her with furious passion. “Yes! Smile like that!”

The two continued to laugh between themselves, to the dismay of the other villagers. Far above, unbeknownst to them, Vegemite hovered above, casting a spell of magic detection on the town below. Splotches of black enveloped the houses, while two large bubbles, one red and one gray, covered the entire village entrance.

“Interesting. Very interesting,” Vegemite said, rubbing his bony chin with his skeletal fingers.


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Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:04 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



"Hey, what are you doing?" Grace asked.

"Waiting," Aria answered blankly.

"For what?"

"Someone."

"Who?"


*whispers in horror* Godot.

ANYWAY.

I enjoyed the characters in this chapter and the way Grace - which is an interesting enough name for a boy and even more so for a half-dragon/half-demon lizardman - was all happy-go-lucky while Aria had this dark humor and sarcasm despite being a little girl. It was a nice, somewhat unexpected contrast. Bits of it really reminded me of Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, especially this part.

"Because, you’re all moody about how your dad sold your entire village out, and here I am, full of happiness and joy with a dead dad and a dragon for a mum. It's not like you're the only here suffering. Remember, lots of things have horns.”


Also this part.

"It's just... You were really cute, that I couldn't help but pet you."

Aria squinted at Grace. "Pedophelia is a major crime that can result in over twenty years of imprisonment."

"Hey! Don't quote laws at me! I don't mean it like that. It's like... Like a puppy! You know, so cute and squishy, that you can't help but try to pet it."

"Bestiality is a minor crime that can result in up to two years of imprisonment," Aria recalled monotonously. She watched Grace freak out for a moment before giggling to herself. The lizardman paused when he realized he was being made fun of and curled up in a ball facing away from her. "It was just a joke."


Also, I love that there's a character named Vegemite.

However, the chapter was so dialogue-heavy that it felt like it sped by? Despite the fact that not much was going on. I think the real issue was that - because the characters were just tossing this dialogue ball back and forth which is no way an issue I'm having in the chapter I'm writing right now with little narration between - I didn't really feel the depths of their emotions basically at all.

The exception would be this part.

“D-don’t worry. I’ll… I’ll go get it!” Grace exclaimed, before dashing through the path the ball he carved. Aria watched him leave for a moment before sighing. The ball was old. She could probably get a new one from the few coins patrons would drop, or steal one from the other kids. The ball had no intrinsic value.

Yet, for some reason, she could feel a few drops form in her eyes. Why? It was just a stupid ball. There was no reason for her to obsess over it so.


When we see Aria's eyes welling up with tears even though she just said the ball is old and worthless, I got more of a glimpse into how she's really feeling. Only then that threw me off because I kind of thought we were in Grace's POV at the start? And then suddenly we were in Aria's. Which if you're going for an omniscient narrator is fine, but in that case it needs some cleaning up so it's more apparent that our narrator knows what's going on in everyone's heads. Honestly it worked better at the end, when we were in Vegemite's head? Because from the point where you get into Aria's head for real, you have a better balance of showing us how different characters are feeling.

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Wed Mar 28, 2018 6:33 am
Kanome wrote a review...



Hello, Thundahguy. I am here to provide you a review. Let’s get started, shall we?

I. PLOT SO FAR
I enjoyed this chapter because Grace and Aria are becoming fast friends. It’s funny how Aria is like “blah blah blah” making a dark joke, it’s funny in it’s own way. Basically this chapter was about Grace’s and Aria’s backstory. Quite intriguing. Who know that Aria was the daughter of the former mayor. It is kind of sad that he abandoned her daughter there. Hopefully, if he ever shows his presence in future chapters, he can explain why he did what he did. With Grace, it’s cool that he is half lizard/half dragon. Unique combination. At the end, something big is going to happen, based on Lord Vegemite’s reaction and the way the town looks.

II. NIPICKS & STUFF
The only thing that I wanted to help you correct is this:

"Do you not understand I don't want to answer," Aria muttered, bouncing her ball again.


Just insert a question mark after the word ‘answer’. Other than that, this chapter is golden.

III. OVERALL
Overall, this was another yet amazing chapter. We learned more about a couple of the characters and you ended it with a cliffhanger. Gotta love those cliffhangers. I can’t wait for the next chapter update. Your novel is just amazing with its dark humour and classy wits. Keep up the great work! Keep writing and enjoy the rest of your day. I shall be waiting for chapter four.

- Kanome


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When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
— Walter Lippmann