Good morning, evening, afternoon, night, or whichever applies to you in your respective time zone at the moment. Anyway, onto the review.
Wow. Just…wow. When I first clicked on this, I thought it would be ushy-gushy(not that there’s anything wrong with that). Boy was I wrong. This was an AMAZING poem, with a strong message of loving people indiscriminately, without fail, and how this can make the world just a little bit brighter. At least, that was my interpretation of your poem.
I think my favorite lines in your poem was the last stanza’s lines “ Which is, to love and love for love's sake own, And hate naught but hatred's condone':” That line was the most powerful part, in my opinion. It really cut straight to the issue. It struck a chord in me.
Of course, there were other great lines as well. The entirety of the fifth stanza was very powerful, if not slightly repetitive. Of course, repetition is not necessarily a bad thing in poems, and often times it’s very useful. But in the case of the fifth stanza, you might want to tone it down a bit, to perhaps this?
I aim to stop,
The charity of greed;
The slavery of the freed;
The inequality of equality;
the war against tranquility.
But of course, in the end, it’s your poem, and you can change, or not change it, anyway you wish. All in all, your poem was great, and I hope to see more of your work around some time!
Have a great day, and stay safe!
-Lizzy
Points: 1763
Reviews: 60
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