z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

An Ode to Love

by TheRebel2007


I refuse to defuse the bomb of love -
Crafted by Nature, drafted by Man
Into the military which it has banned.
Knows none about its whereabouts or coordinates
But it will soon burst, beware'st.

And when it would, it would shake the highest ridge,
The deepest forest, the strongest bridge,
The largest ocean, the widest grasslands,
The shackles of society, the empires of sand.

I come to you with a pledge, and a warning
About the hurricane which will soon be storming
Over lands and seas and winds and skies -
Where peace persists and hatred dies.

I bring to you contentment with ambition;
I bring to you harmony with revolution;
I bring to you the extravagance of simplicity;
I bring to you the illusion of reality.

I aim to stop the charity of greed;
I aim to stop the slavery of the freed;
I aim to stop the inequality of equality;
I aim to stop the war against tranquility.

And with me do yearn, hundreds of millions
To stand up on Humanity's pavillion
And declare war on hatred and greed:
Will You not join us in our humble deed?

Will You not rue the deeds of man
And do whatever you absolutely can:
Which is, to love and love for love's sake own,
And hate naught but hatred's condone':
Will You not do, without ado, the simple act of loving?


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60 Reviews


Points: 1763
Reviews: 60

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Fri Jul 23, 2021 3:08 pm
LizzyTyler wrote a review...



Good morning, evening, afternoon, night, or whichever applies to you in your respective time zone at the moment. Anyway, onto the review.

Wow. Just…wow. When I first clicked on this, I thought it would be ushy-gushy(not that there’s anything wrong with that). Boy was I wrong. This was an AMAZING poem, with a strong message of loving people indiscriminately, without fail, and how this can make the world just a little bit brighter. At least, that was my interpretation of your poem.

I think my favorite lines in your poem was the last stanza’s lines “ Which is, to love and love for love's sake own, And hate naught but hatred's condone':” That line was the most powerful part, in my opinion. It really cut straight to the issue. It struck a chord in me.

Of course, there were other great lines as well. The entirety of the fifth stanza was very powerful, if not slightly repetitive. Of course, repetition is not necessarily a bad thing in poems, and often times it’s very useful. But in the case of the fifth stanza, you might want to tone it down a bit, to perhaps this?

I aim to stop,
The charity of greed;
The slavery of the freed;
The inequality of equality;
the war against tranquility.

But of course, in the end, it’s your poem, and you can change, or not change it, anyway you wish. All in all, your poem was great, and I hope to see more of your work around some time!

Have a great day, and stay safe!

-Lizzy




TheRebel2007 says...


Thank you for your review, LizzyTyler!

You have interpreted it exactly the way I wanted to express. To be honest, I didn't really expect so positive comments, as this was my first poem on this site. I am really grateful to y'all.

The fifth stanza, in my opinion, is the second most important stanza in the poem after the last stanza, to emphasize the state of the world. That stanza is technically the climax of the poem, as that's the darkest and one of the most powerful part of the poem. But, thanks for your suggestion! :p



TheRebel2007 says...


Thank you for your review, LizzyTyler!

You have interpreted it exactly the way I wanted to express. To be honest, I didn't really expect so positive comments, as this was my first poem on this site. I am really grateful to y'all.

The fifth stanza, in my opinion, is the second most important stanza in the poem after the last stanza, to emphasize the state of the world. That stanza is technically the climax of the poem, as that's the darkest and one of the most powerful part of the poem. But, thanks for your suggestion! :p



LizzyTyler says...


Glad I could help! It really was a great poem!



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Fri Jul 23, 2021 12:12 pm
eilisBK wrote a review...



I'm not usually a big fan of poetry, but this was fantastic! This was such a beautiful piece and I think that stanza 2 was my favourite. You evoke a great sense of imagery as you talk about "hundreds of millions" standing on "humanity's pavilion", as well as when you describe love as being a weapon to be used against people -- I thought that was an interesting take.

I don't have much in the way of feedback, I really thought this was an excellent poem, but I would suggest perhaps changing the word "beware'st" to something different as it doesn't really fit into the rest of the poem. Either change that word or add more words like it throughout the rest of the poem so it all ties in. Then again, there might be a specific reason why you chose this word that I'm not picking up on. If that's the case, forgive me.

I also had a couple of questions about the way you set it up. I am in no way attacking your set up of the poem, I'm just a little confused. Why is it that some words and italicised, some are bolded and some are both bolded and italicised?

All in all, I really enjoyed this poem and I'm excited to see you what you write next!




TheRebel2007 says...


Thank you for the review, eilisBK!

"Beware'st" can be considered as use of poetic licence. I put the word there because basically the first stanza is there to beware people. And, if one analyzes the poem very carefully, one can see a pattern in it, although there is a randomness in the beat pattern. The first and the last stanza has the same number of lines.

And there's a specific reason for all those emboldened and italicized words. In the first and the third stanza, the first line's first part's two important words are italicized, then in the second part of the line, love is emboldened. In the second line, the order of italicization and emboldening has been reversed, in the third line italics has been omitted and in the fourth line, bold has been omitted and in the fifth line, italics again. I think the italicization and emboldening of the second, fourth, and fifth stanzas are obvious enough, so I don't need to give reasons for them. And I have almost completely followed first and third stanza's style of formatting except in the last line where I emboldened and italicized "You" to give importance to the reader who is reading it, to persuade the reader. And in the last stanza, I did the same thing. I hope you get the reasons behind all the formatting.

Again, thank you for the review! :p




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