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Young Writers Society



The Augury of RiverClan - Ch. 8.2

by Riverlight


"Let all cats old enough to swim gather to hear my words!" Shorestar yowled as she exited her den. Dewwhisker, Quickflash, Stream, Tawnybird, and Mothear alll followed her, whiskers twitching excitedly.

Riverpaw nudged Ripplepaw to his paws. "Get over there!" the medicine cat apprentice mewed. "You're going to be a warrior."

Ripplepaw grunted with each pawstep. "Wingfoot nearly prevented this."

"She didn't mean to be so harsh," Pinestep added from where she sat nearby, her tail neatly tucked around her paws. "You both took each other by surprise. Really, it could've been worse."

Ripplepaw weakly shrugged as he padded towards the other cats in RiverClan. He finally touched noses with Graypaw and said something quietly to her. Riverpaw watched as Havenpaw sat beside Lightningsong and Minnowfeather. Then, Strikestone caught his eye as the senior warrior took a seat beside Shorestar.

There's something going on between those two or I'm no medicine cat, Riverpaw thought.

"Today, five apprentices took and passed their warrior assessments!" Shorestar's mewed proudly. "Bluepaw, Tinypaw, Havenpaw, Graypaw, and Ripplepaw are all ready to become warriors of RiverClan. I have spoken with their mentors and the cats that they fought with during their assessments, and everyone agrees that it is time for them to be gifted their new names." Shorestar looked towards the darkening sky, only the brightest silver stars twinkling through the pink-gray clouds. The moon was faint and shaped like a claw. "Do you promise to protect your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" Shorestar asked as she turned her gaze back to the apprentices.

"I do," all five echoed.

"Then I, Shorestar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn," the pale gray she-cat replied. "Bluepaw, from this day forward, you shall be known as Bluethorn. StarClan honors your tenacity and persistence."

"Bluethorn! Bluethorn!" the Clan called as the bluish she-cat padded up to Shorestar and licked her shoulder.

Shorestar's eyes gleamed as she continued, "Tinypaw, from this day forward, you shall be known as Tinybird. StarClan honors your ability to adapt to new surroundings and your generosity."

As the Clan cheered the she-cat's name, she, too, licked Shorestar's shoulder. Then, the tortoiseshell padded over to her mother, Quickflash and licked the warrior's cheek.

"Ripplepaw," Shorestar began again, "from this day forward, you shall be known as Ripplewhisker. StarClan honors your warmth and thoughtfullness."

Ripplepaw opened hs jaws and yowled "Ripplewhisker! Ripplewhisker!" as loud as he could. He'd been happy for Bluethorn and Tinybird, but they weren't his kin. If I had made a different choice, I'd be up there with them, he thought, but I'm satisfied with my lot in life, and it's best that I stick to it.

"Graypaw, from this day forward, you shall be known as Graystream. StarClan honors your spirit and energy."

Again, Riverpaw opened his jaws wide-- the feeling of his heart beating inside his chest was unlike any it had been before. He was so proud of his littermates; there was no other word for it than pride, and that was okay.

Silence fell once more as Shorestar stared at Havenpaw. "From now on, you shall be known as Havenwing," she mewed decisively. "StarClan honors your courage and dedication." As Havenwing, Graystream, and Ripplewhisker each licked her shoulder, and the Clan finished calling the names of all the new warriors, Shorestar yowled, "Let us welcome RiverClan's newest warriors! Tonight, we shall feast, and in three days time, we will present them to the other Clans and show them that we are stronger than ever."

Show ThunderClan that we're stronger than ever, Riverpaw thought before pushing it away. Tonight was supposed to be a fun event, not a night to be wasted thinking about battles. His littermates had just become warriors-- that needed to be celebrated.

"I know what you just thought about," Pinestep whispered in his ear. "I had the same thought, too. But let me worry about that. Let tonight be about them."

Riverpaw nodded, shaking out his fur as he pushed up against his hind legs. "I'll do my best."

"I know you will."


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Wed Jun 02, 2021 3:11 pm
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Otterpop wrote a review...



Hey there! Otterpop here with a quick review!

Let's get this out of the green room, shall we??

Even if there's a lot I have not read of this, I absolutely love how much energy you put into your writing and these characters in a way that reminds me of the exhilaration I felt when I read the Warriors books for the first time. I can also appreciate how the MCs are not associated with ThunderClan as in the official series; gives us a chance to explore other Clans even if that might happen from time to time in the books.

While I may lose some important information or characterization from not reading some of the previous parts, even I can still see the emotion and dialogue and relationships that you write in these sections is very consistent, as though you have a real strong sense of your characters. I find myself adoring their personalities and quirks every time I read a section, not to mention that they seem very grounded also (for wild cats, anyhow!).

Ripplepaw opened hs jaws and yowled "Ripplewhisker! Ripplewhisker!" as loud as he could. He'd been happy for Bluethorn and Tinybird.....


I believe you may already know that it should say Riverpaw and not Ripplepaw? Just wanted to make sure anyhow!

My favorite thing has to be the frequent use of showing and not telling (as I find is an important lesson for genres like these), and I can really feel the emotion of the characters. The detail seems rather superb in my eyes, and these characters alongside your writing style are turning out fantastic so far!




Riverlight says...


Thanks for the review! <3



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Sun May 02, 2021 4:57 pm
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starlitmind wrote a review...



HELLO MY LOVELY FRIEND, I AM EXCITED <333

Riverpaw nudged Ripplepaw to his paws. "Get over there!" the medicine cat apprentice mewed. "You're going to be a warrior."


OMG are we having another ceremony sort of thing ahh c:

Ripplepaw grunted with each pawstep. "Wingfoot nearly prevented this."

"She didn't mean to be so harsh," Pinestep added from where she sat nearby, her tail neatly tucked around her paws. "You both took each other by surprise. Really, it could've been worse."


Yeah, last chapter I was thinking how those assessments could have a lot of chances to go wrong :O but, I don't know how else you'd be able to simulate such an event

There's something going on between those two or I'm no medicine cat, Riverpaw thought.


can confirm, it's definitely the former

... their assessments, and everyone agrees that it is time for them to be gifted their new names." Shorestar looked towards the darkening sky, only the brightest silver stars twinkling through the pink-gray clouds. The moon was faint and shaped like a claw. "Do you promise to protect your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" Shorestar asked as she turned her gaze back to the apprentices.


ooh, I love the transition from her talking to the sky description -> describing the moon as a claw is so fitting and such a unique description
I do think that maybe switching from the description back to dialogue doesn't work for me? could def be just me xD but you could have this new "inducting dialogue" in a new paragraph -> this could also give you the chance to explore some more descriptions / weather-related things, if you'd like!

"Then I, Shorestar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn," the pale gray she-cat replied.


Ooh, I might even remove the dialogue tag and instead replace it with some action, like "she turned around" or something; I personally think that would work better here

Tinypaw, from this day forward, you shall be known as Tinybird.


such a cute name omg <3
I love how each cat gets compliments on what the clan admires them for, it's a sneaky way to characterize them c:

Ripplewhisker.


Omg Ripplewhisker xD this will help me from getting Riverpaw and Ripplepaw confused :p

Ripplepaw opened hs jaws and yowled "Ripplewhisker! Ripplewhisker!" as loud as he could. He'd been happy for Bluethorn and Tinybird, but they weren't his kin. If I had made a different choice, I'd be up there with them, he thought, but I'm satisfied with my lot in life, and it's best that I stick to it.


Wait, shouldn't this be Riverpaw talking? >.>

Show ThunderClan that we're stronger than ever, Riverpaw thought before pushing it away. Tonight was supposed to be a fun event, not a night to be wasted thinking about battles.


Oof </3 it's hard not to let the negatives overcome you in a positive situation - I'm glad Riverpaw was able to realize, though, that at least for tonight, he should be in a celebratory mood c:

"I know what you just thought about," Pinestep whispered in his ear. "I had the same thought, too. But let me worry about that. Let tonight be about them."


OMG TELEPATHY :O
I wonder how Pinestep knew - just cat things, I guess? xD but also, if you wanted, you could make Riverpaw do something - like maybe his paw twitched slightly, or his whiskers rose, or his fur rose, or his ears twitched, or just some small little action that could indicate how he was feeling. just a thought! ^_^

Omg all of my kittens are growing up :') Haha, it's so nice to see everyone accomplish what they had set out to do! I'm glad all the cats passed their assessment; I'm also glad there was no written part of the exam lol 0.0 imagine if there was though; which of these wild animals looks appropriate to kill? xD

can't wait to read the next chapter, as always <33




Riverlight says...


omg XDD

Next chapter will be a Gathering, just a heads up uwu




ask not what u can do for ur bones but of what ur bones can do for u
— Carina