Young Writers Society

HEY <3

The next morning, Natalia was driven to the Council House.

"You'll be fine ma'am," he said with an understanding smile. He was young-- about her own age, and had dressed up neatly, just to drive her here.

She made her way up the wide steps to the door. A guard stood on either side-- not polished guards in uniform, but two trusted citizens dressed finely, standing laxly at attention. They nodded as she passed by, welcoming her to the second set of grand doors that brought her into the Council room. She felt the coronet on her head, there to remind her of the importance of her duty. She strode to her seat at the

She learned that there were signs that Nesrin might be making war on their neighbor Airira soon.

Some wonder how someone so young, and inexperienced could have gained position at the head of Council."

Natalia watched as others began rising shouting across the table at one another.

It was done then. The Council solemnly shuffled out.

Already, the nation had been pushed to the brink of civil war before Natalia came to power.

"Nava!" she cursed suddenly, covering her mouth upon realizing what she had said.

Bronswith offered her a small smile. "Nava indeed."

Back again with your harsh review!
I know this took like infinitely long, but it's finally here! Sorry for the delay.
Let's jump right in I guess!
This chapter was well written, just like all your chapters, but once again the plot seems a bit... confused.
My main grievance here is we still don't really know what the point of this all is, who our characters are, and why we should like them. We just seem to be wandering around, like we are picking up plotlines and then putting them down.
I feel like I'm getting snapshots, like a movie where we are only getting the big scenes. We need the in-between scenes. We need to follow these characters' lives. I want to know them. Like Natalia seems like she could be really likable, but she hasn't done anything super likable yet, and we barely know her.
Also, I'm guessing she is a super interesting character with a lot of depth, but right now she just looks like a cardboard cut out whos only trait is being capable.
One little specific thing:

Her jaw tightened."The majority are not."
Space is needed between period and quotation.
Jason wasn't much older than herself, not yet even thirty, but he had a way of holding himself and a way of speaking that made him seem to be as experienced as the rest of them. Natalia watched as others began rising shouting across the table at one another.What was happening to their Council?

Bronswith offered her a small smile. "Nava indeed."
haha, I liked this.

Hey there.
This is the first of your work that i have read and I love it. Your plot line is really interesting. I think you could add some more detail in some places but other than that there isn't a lot i can suggest. As far as i can tell you don't have very many grammar mistakes.
I think you have a lot of potential as a writer.
I look forward to reading more of you work.
Keep up the fantastic writing.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: So this was a pretty interesting take continuation from the previous chapter. I'm hoping at least this one is enough establishing conflict for a clear plotline to form because so far I don't see a clear one. Other than that this worked pretty well to showcase sort of the situation of the world they're and maybe establish something that might be important later so that's good

Anyway let's get right to it,

The next morning, Natalia was driven to the Council House. The cab came to an easy stop in front of the magnificent pillared building. It wasbuilt with an elegant architecture, open like the Minor House she worked in. Leafy or flowering plants had been carefully tended and arranged along the path outside. There was a bright fountain in front of the building, with a brick drive circling it.

"You'll be fine ma'am," he said with an understanding smile. He was young-- about her own age, and had dressed up neatly, just to drive her here.

She made her way up the wide steps to the door. A guard stood on either side-- not polished guards in uniform, but two trusted citizens dressed finely, standing laxly at attention. They nodded as she passed by, welcoming her to the second set of grand doors that brought her into the Council room. She felt the coronet on her head, there to remind her of the importance of her duty. She strode to her seat at the round table, similar to the one in the Minor House, though much larger. The emissaries were chatting with each other, and some greeted her as she came in. Most had already arrived.

Natalia brought the Council to order and the thirteen emissaries began discussing the most important issues Misericord was faced with at the moment. She learned that there were signs that Nesrin might be making war on their neighbor Airira soon. The Nesrins were on another continent, but what truly worried them were the barbaric Belecthorian republicans to the northern border of Misericord that exceedingly outnumbered them. These republicans were expanisionistic and threatened the Misericord way of life.

"We don't have any conflict with these,,, republicans," Nataliasaid, replying to an old emissary from a northern court.

"Talk with her. We'll think of something."

There was a little more debate about Belecthoria and Nesrin, but it was generally agreed that this would be the best course of action. Natalia called the messenger house and asked them to send a request to meet with Queen Cynthia as soon as it was convenient. It seemed important enough to her that it would be more proper to send someone in person.

"Members of the Council," he began, "with all due respect we are ignoring the most pressing issue: the desire of many of the people to re-form our government."

They were silent a moment. A few heads turned towards the Steward Emissary.

"Are you so sure Lady Emissary?" he spat, unable to hide his disdain for her. "People are becoming dissatisfied with the rule of Council, wondering if there isn't a better way. Some wonder how someone so young, and inexperienced could have gained position at the head of Council." There was just a hint of mockery, maybe even a threat in his tone as he said this. Natalia looked at him levelly, though he heart was beating quick. He knew he was hitting at a nerve.

"Jason!"

In the month that followed, five emissaries, including Jason, upped and left, forming their own separate "Council" that supported reformation. Negotiations had ceased. Already, the nation had been pushed to the brink of civil war before Natalia came to power. Whether or not she could do it again was another question...

Natalia nodded quetly, thoughts drifting off. Bronswith continued to speak, but she did not hear what he had to say. How could she listen to him when there was so much to take into consideration? The Nesrins were going to war, a King had been overthrown, the country was falling apart--

"Nava!" she cursed suddenly, covering her mouth upon realizing what she had said.

Bronswith offered her a small smile. "Nava indeed."