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by TheMulticoloredCyr

The old gods are dead.

“Oh what a grandiose lie,” says a girl dressed in green.

“Indeed,” says the girl in black.

“Almost too big to believe,” agrees the third in purple.

“I think humans just like the drama,” says a new voice, surprising the three girls. They all get up at once and assemble in a line before the newcomer. “Oh, there’s no need for that girls,” the woman glides past them to look at the table they had previously surrounded.

“Pretty neat, hu?” gloats the girl in green, flopping back into a plush chair.

“We designed it ourselves,” says the one in black timidly.

“Do you think it will work?” asks the one in purple.

The woman pressed a finger to her chin, considering, “Explain this to me,” she said, pointing to a section of one of the sheets of paper spread about the table in methodic chaos.

“Shouldn’t you-” the girl in green was cut off by a look from the woman.

The girl in black cleared her throat, “That’s the fail safe. If something goes wrong, that bit there will minimize the damage.”

“Do you really have so little confidence?” The woman asked, circling around to the other side of the table to overlook the rest of the plans.

The girl in purple spoke up, “What my triplets were trying to explain is, without your power backing us, we, as mortals, could make a mistake.”

The woman straightened abruptly, momentarily splitting into three separate beings, “See to it that you don’t make that mistake.”

“Yes my lady,” said all three at once.

The girl in green stood from her position lounged on the chair to stand beside her patron, “Will it work then? If we don’t mess up?”

The woman eyed her, then her sisters, “I shan't say either way.”

The girl in black spoke up from where she was scribbling notes on a sheet of paper, “Will you give us what we need then?”

The woman looked to the girl in purple, “Persuade me.”

“You want the fates to fall as much as we do, my lady.”

“Do I?”

The girl in green made a noise of frustration, throwing her hands in the air, “You’ve said so over and over again. You asked us to design the spell for the Earth’s sake!”

The woman nodded, “Alright, I’ll give you what you need.”

She vanished, a fog falling to the floor where she stood, and when it cleared, in her place the sisters found a pair of identical torches, alite with green flames. They shared a look. The girl in black took the torches from the floor.

Three figures stood together just before the break of dawn. All of them identical in every way from their grey robes to their faces, they took a collective breath. With two of them holding the torches of Hecate, one each, the third began the spell.

By the time the sun’s first rays peeked over the horizon, the triplets had acquired the powers of the three fates of myth. This time, when the once-mocked words were spoken, they were true. The old gods are dead. 

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5 Reviews

Points: 274
Reviews: 5

Sun Mar 24, 2019 2:17 pm
LarrisonOrdinarison wrote a review...

I thought this story seemed a bit weird with the opening. The whole "old gods are dead" thing seemed a bit off and played a very irrelevant role but was a decent hook. The characters seemed to have an interesting dynamic between them, but feel like they could have been expanded on. Overall the story seems great but could be longer to give readers a better experience.

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1464 Reviews

Points: 83957
Reviews: 1464

Sun Mar 24, 2019 2:36 am
JabberHut wrote a review...


I really loved the air of mystery you have in this piece. It left me very curious and reading into all the details that was provided to me. The three colors of the triplets, the papers they were perusing, the spells they were referencing: I was curious about it all. I think you can definitely build on this to create a piece that the reader can really invest in.

I would like to see more definition in the characters, particularly the triplets. When it comes to twins, triplets, etc, it's becomes even more significant to notify the significance of it. What is the similarity that makes their triplet-relationship significant? (Is it important that they look exactly the same? Is it important that they're all the same age, even if they look a little different?)

Additionally, what makes them all different so that we can better identify them as their own persons. Even though they're triplets, they're still three people, and there is something that sets them apart from the other two. These are details that will help the reader relate better to them as people. In a piece that thrives on mystery, this isn't always the case. However, you've put enough significance on the triplets that I feel a little more characterization may help the reader become emotionally invested in your piece.

By the end of the piece, I feel like there must be more to come. There wasn't much resolution, but we were also just getting into what the plot was. In the end, I'm wondering if this is more of a character exercise for a more grandiose project. It's a very intriguing scene, and I wish I could have read more!

I hope you build on this. It's a genre I absolutely adore, and would look forward to more updates if any occur!

Well done, and keep writing! :D

Jabber, the One and Only!

Thank you! I wasn't really planning on elaborating on this, but since it's clear that you're interested I might consider it. (Because if one person likes something then you can be sure that someone else will enjoy it as well)

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107 Reviews

Points: 1690
Reviews: 107

Sat Mar 23, 2019 6:06 pm
Gnomish wrote a review...

All right.

First of all, I really liked the atmosphere in this story as well as the way you wrote it. It was kind of cloaked with mystery, but you could still tell what was going on.

Secondly, I'm not sure what actually happened. Who are the old gods? Who was the woman? How did the triplets kill the old gods? Why? I'm not sure whether there is another chapter or not, but the ending as a bit unfinished to me.

That being said, I still really enjoyed reading this story, and the mystery did add to it.

Well done!

I'm sorry that the ending wasn't clear, I'll see what I can do to fix it, but I'm glad you liked it!

"You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things..."
— Gone With the Wind