Young Writers Society

Oh, what a wonderful thing,

to be in love

Your heart always in a sling,

to it a slave

Let me ask you a question.

Now listen well

If you hadn’t heard the term,

would you want love?



Ooh, we immediately start off with the question of whether or not love is worth it. Love takes a lot of thought.


Friend of mine, what’s in your mind?

I see the ring.

He must love you completely.

He bought you gold.

Enjoying your fairy tale,

dear friend of mine?

Are you afraid for your bond?

Is it forever?

The doubts that you hold now,

Will not leave you.

but he will.


The speaker has to make their friend realize some hard truths. They have to make them realize that their fiance does not love them. The friend knows the speaker is right, and is heartbroken because of that. They will have to give up the person they love because they know it's not truly love they are feeling.

Overall: Good job!

Hey there! I'm here to review your work.

I actually wanted to review this during my last batch of reviews, but I admittedly ran out of steam before I could get to it. I decided to avoid that problem by making this my first priority instead.

I love unique takes on love (pun not intentional) so I'm not surprised that I really enjoyed this poem. You did a great job getting the reader to doubt their views on love. I do believe that love has its place in society, but I also think that love can come at a cost if it's not "true" love. Your poem captured my feelings on that perfectly.

I especially enjoyed the part where you mentioned what can happen after marriage:

Are you afraid for your bond?

Is it forever?

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a short review for you on this lovely day.

Let's start.

So I couldn't see anything wrong with this poem, it was really well written, and I loved reading it. I could feel the emotion being carried over through your words. And it just made to poem even better. As I was reading your poem, it was like a story was being told, and I could see everything happening. Even the things you wrote down is very true, even if I haven't been in a relationship.
I really like the name you chose for your poem. When I saw it I new I had to come and read your poem, and it's a good thing that the title of your poem brings people in, that is one of the big things with writing.

Great job, this poem was a great joy to read and review. Never stop writing and post more of your amazing works out on YWS. I hope you have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing this a fiery passion.

Helloooo! I’m here to review this.
I think this poem was pretty good and thought provoking, I liked how you ended it because in a way it is sort of true, everyone leaves one way or another. Oh I also liked how you put a heart emoji, like I didn’t even know you could even PUT emojis! XD. So that was like magic.
I also liked the idea of this poem and the length.

Now for some small critiques:

- In the first stanza when you say “Would you want love?” I think it would be more powerful if you said “Would you still want love?” That’s just my opinion.

- In the second stanza, it would make more sense in my own opinion if you said “what’s on your mind?” Instead of “What’s in your mind?”

That’s all of the critique I’ve got! Sorry if this sounded harsh at all. This is a very nice poem and I hope you write many more <3

-Alice

Wow. I have to say I love this writing piece. As someone who was just recently dumped, I have to say you really nailed that one. Especially when you said, "The doubts that you hold now, will not leave you. but he will." I was with my boyfriend for 14 months and he told me over and over he would never hurt me. Look where we are now: He is currently dating one of my closest friends, and I am left broken hearted. No surprise there.... Is there? Love, I have learned, is a beautiful thing for some, but for me, SO UNLUCKY!!! You are a beautiful writer, and I encourage you to keep up the good work. Seriously... You really DO have talent and are gifted. Happy writings!! Have a great day. <3 'Tato.