Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey there. The first thing I noticed as I was looking at your poem was that you've got a couple of ".."s. Did you want "..." instead? I also noticed the inconsistent capitalization of the first letter of each line. Right now, having the ".."s and the inconsistent capitalization gives the initial impression that you don't know basic grammar, which I'm sure you do, so you should probably fix that.
I really liked your use of "persists" in the first stanza. It's not a common usage of the word, but it fit so perfectly.
The second "love" struck me as too repetitive. I think having another modifier before it would help get rid of this feeling.
Overall, this poem was very simple, but it flowed well, which made it an easy read. You might want to consider varying your punctuation a bit and using commas in place of many of the ellipses/periods. Although it doesn't mess up the flow, it does break up the sequence of ideas a little, and I think transitioning more smoothly between them would improve this poem a little.
Hello there
Hey I actaully thought that this was not bad. The first stanza really drew in my attention, the way it flowed with all the comments and compliments etc.
That was pretty good. As it continued I kind of got lost with the message but I think I get it.
Sorry I'm not that much of help, but good job anyhow.
Ziggie