Young Writers Society

Hey, ThatGeekyGirl. I am here to provide you a review. Let's get started, shall we?

I won't get into any grammar or sentence issues because someone else has already covered that. I am going to review Character Development, Setting, and Plot. Here we go.

Character Development
I believe Atlas and Finn should have been more described. I know you provided visual representations for your story, but you can draw in your readers more if you provide imagery. As for the characters themselves, I like the emotions each character had throughout the whole story. Sadness and pain, great job on that. Things you should consider working on are:
- Developing a sense of imagery for characters in future work.
- Developing more personality for your characters.

Setting:
I do understand that the setting took place in the 1800s, but where? Setting is time and place. Be sure next time for future to provide a place.

Plot:
I do realize that this is a short story. From what I understand, the plot was that Atlas touched Finn's black wings? And since that happened, Atlas gained power while Finn lost power, resulting in death, but luckily, it wasn't FInn's time to die so she was resurrected as an angel? That's what I got from it. The story was full of love, sadness, and pain. It can make one feel like they are going to cry. The plot is simple, that's why I liked your story. It's simplicity.
Overall, your story was great in the plot department, but your character development skills and setting skills need to be worked on. Hopefully, this will provide you some insight on what you can do to become a better writer. Don't worry, I used to be same way when I first started writing, and I can tell you have so much potential. Keep up the great work. Keep writing!

- Kanome

Oh my goodness! That was adorable! If that had been geek lore I can see how Atlas became so cold if she was meant to die. Anyway, you need to be more clear. I couldn't tell what was happening in the first part of the story. I had no idea what was going on. "He opens his eyes, and looks at them, shock written all over his face." Them? Them what? I had to re-read it a couple time to figure it out, honestly. Other than that it was pretty good. Keep writing.

Hey! Danni here for the promised review!
First off, I love the pictures you added. Really nice touch.
There were a few spelling errors in this, I have pointed them out below:

Than is why.

"How you died."

i feel as though my wings are heavier

They take you're power

The light than becons me with open arms.

touches my check

To late.

than I notice the wings are a pale pink colour

That was a great story!!! I love how Finn came back as an Angel to be with Atlas. Your names are very creative, and so are your stories. That's a good quality in story telling. The pictures you added are a nice touch, too. I, too love magical creatures.

I love this, Cuz. This is great. I loved how you started it out with a picture and ended it with a picture, but there is a few spelling problems. But other than that: you did great. There is nothing you can do more to it. You are a great writer. Doe sent everyone else think so???? I do.

This was my idea right here:

"“Come.” They whisper to me. “We have a deal to make with you.”

What deal? I think back.

“Come.” The voice says again.

O...kay. I float to the doors in the clouds, following the sound of the voice.

“Great, you are here!” A voice squeaks.

“What?” I look at the little red haired girl in front of me."

Sneaking on illlegaly at the moment but will review ASAP!!

@Danni88