Discreet me out a lot, which is good for the feeling of this poem because at least all poems have to have some feeling into it so that the reader can imagine what's going to be like. At the same time I really think you should Mark this as 16 +for language because it has some words that kids under 12 should not be reading. Besides that, I think you would need to put some periods so that the poem will not be a total run-on sentence.
Besides that, why not put some stanzas, just a suggestion.
Okay so everything's good for now. Bye.
Points: 4338
Reviews: 61
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