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Volunteer Essay

by Stellarjay


This essay is for an award I'm applying for, I had to describe ways I demonstrate dedication to the betterment of society and contribute to my community through volunteer work.I had to tell why supporting others, the environment etc. is important to me.

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I have always loved working with my hands, even if that’s just cleaning up my room. Thankfully I’ve gotten other opportunities to utilize these useful tools. Through my church I’ve been able to help out in community kitchens, food banks, teach sunday school and volunteer at countless summer camps. As one of the more fortunate people on this earth, I feel that I’m obligated to help others who don’t have it so good. I also want to pass on the blessings and love that I have received throughout my life. I’m so thankful for all the volunteer positions that I’ve been in and being able to work with my hands.

Though I may be strongly introverted, I love people. Being connected to my community and church have always played a huge role in my life. When I was ages 9 - 14 I would regularly help out in the nursery and I was a Sunday school helper Then when I turned 15 I was allowed to teach. During the summer I help a lot with the summer camps my church runs, this year was especially difficult because we had to abide by B.C’s covid rules. My church also holds various events throughout the year that I volunteer at, Halloween Games Night, the Easter and Christmas children services to name a few. Once a month some of us from my church would go to Grace Point and cook dinner for over a 100 homeless people. I often set tables, served food and cleaned up afterwards. Through my youth group I had the chance to help at Surrey Urban Missions which is a homeless shelter. This past christmas I made christmas cards for the homeless staying there. This year I began helping at my youth group, planning events and the like. Volunteering at my church has always been a big part of my life and I’m glad that it is still able to continue.

Two summers ago I found a deep love for helping the homeless. Every year we go on a SERVE trip, that year it was hosted by Victoria CRC. The week was filled with volunteering and lots of hard work. My group helped out at multiple food banks, this included the Mustard Seed, Saint Vincent De Paul and Shelbourne Community Kitchen’s partner the Luthern church. These experiences were so new to me, as I have never helped out strangers like that before. We helped stock shelves, sort through food and helped others throughout the store. During that week we also helped tear down blackberry bushes, ivy and other invasive species at Peacock park in the Saanich parks and L'Abre retreat center. It was truly an experience to remember.

Sadly now that everything has been shut down, I haven’t had as many volunteering opportunities. Though I still try my best to pick up garbage while going on walks or pulling down blackberry bushes. Giving a helping hand to those in need is extremely important to me. I want to spread God’s love even if it’s in the little things.


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Mon Feb 08, 2021 10:52 pm
Buranko wrote a review...



Hi Stellar, Buranko here with what may be the most serious review I have ever given. This is my second time reviewing an essay and third reviewing something other than poetry. Still, let's go!

I don't want to start this review with what could use a little work to improve so I will start with what you did good. You managed to use the theme of the essay across pretty nicely. It is a great thing you included what was the essay about, that made understanding it a whole lot easier and better for me to see where you might have strayed away from the main course. I love the fact that you made a succinct presentation of what you did in general then developed on the idea that suited most of the themes pretty well: the homeless issue. Good job.

However, while your essay doesn't lack a clear meaning and direction, it lacks basic stuff any good essay has. First of all you didn't make a good introduction. Your first paragraph feels more like the main body than it feels like introduction. A proper introduction will summarise what your essay is about but in a somewhat subjective way. What I mean by subjective is not related to you but a more overall view. You should have started by making the reader more familiar with the act of volunteering by making a short definition. Something like:"Volunteering is the act of a person or groups of people engaging in certain activities, usually charity or environment related, out of genuine concern for these issues, without a material gain as the main driving force". Then your first paragraph can fit in quite nicely.

I don't know what type of essay this might be but you seem to have trouble expressing yourself in a fancier way. There are some portions that feel really playfull and not suited to the theme of this essay. 1234 did a good job developing some portions of your essay. I suggest re reading it out loud and modifying wherever you hear it feels off. Like when you wrote "help others who don’t have it so good". See the sequence others who don't have it good is a little too eh and too long. But when you write those in need not only you made it shorter and easier to read you also wrote it nicely in a more fitting way.

One other issue is how you expressed yourself here: "Every year we go on a SERVE trip, that year it was hosted by Victoria CRC". Every year and that year in a single phrase makes it really confusing on what you really mean. I, as a reader, have no idea what year you talk about when simply saying that year.

And finally we get to the conclusion. It is nicely done but your issue on how you express yourself in an unfitting way comes forward again. Try replacing that though with apart. It should look something like this :"I haven't had as many volunteering options, apart from picking up garbage in my free time or removing blackberry bushes".

I hope I wasn't rude and that I might have helped you. Good luck on getting that award!




Stellarjay says...


Thanks for the review! It was really helpful and a revision is definitely needed!



Buranko says...


No problem, glad I could help



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Mon Feb 08, 2021 6:12 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



hey, i tried to re- write a few portions-

It is always a pleasure for me to work with the most useful things in the whole world- our hands. Be it cleaning my room or helping out in community kitchens, food banks, teaching Sunday school and volunteering at countless summer camps, it always brings a feeling of great satisfaction within me. As one of the blessed people on the whole earth, I want to pass my blessings through volunteering. I am thankful to each and every person who has given me the chance of being a volunteer and serving the world.
Though I may be quite introverted, I am fond of people. Being connected to my community and church have always played a huge role in my life. When I was ages 9 - 14 I would regularly help out in the nursery and I was a Sunday school helper Then when I turned 15 I was allowed to teach. This year was exceptionally difficult because we had to abide by the covid rules.


Unfortunately, due to the covid, this year I didn't get many volunteering opportunities but those I got- i tried my best to help all. Giving a helping hand to those in need is extremely important to me. I want to spread God’s love even if it’s in the little thing.

i hope i have helped you... there is no grammatical mistakes and vocabulary is also good.
i would be thankful if we review my poetry and chapters of my novel




Stellarjay says...


Thanks for the review!



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Mon Feb 08, 2021 5:03 am
Stellarjay says...



Just a note that this is for an award that's really hard to get. Critical reviews are greatly appreciated, especially on grammar, word usage and cutting down on the word count. Also I noticed I used the word "help" a lot, if you have any suggestions for a different word that would be really nice!





Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
— Quentin Crisp