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Interstellar Pig - William Sleator

by Snoink

Book: Interstellar Pig

Author: William Sleator

Genre: Sci-fi

Rating: 0/10

You may wonder what this book is. I didn't know what it was for the longest time, until I was given a choice of one free book in the library out of a box on the floor. One free book. They usually have a good selection. One year, I got "White Fang," another year I got "Catcher in the Rye." Good books. So I didn't really expect anything else.

And I saw it. Interstellar Pig. It couldn't be too bad, right? After all, it had pigs in it. Right?

The basic synopsis of the plot? A really boring guy named Barney is at a beach house. And ohmigosh, his life totally sucks! He's just so bored - he's just dying for excitement. After hearing about a weird story about an insane guy, four people suddenly move in next door. They are amazingly beautiful and everybody starts falling for them. Including Barney. They invite him over for games of "Interstellar Pig." But are their motives good or are they trying to blow up the planet Earth?

I get so overcome by emotion when I read this book. I say to myself, "Okay, maybe a little bit." And then I read it and tears come to my eyes.

Homicidal ones.

The writer is dull and can't stay on plot. He uses big words to seem intelligent, but really... he isn't. He goes on and on about how terrible Barney's life is with no stop. Apparently, Barney is so disadvantaged because he gets sunburned easily on this beach without sunscreen. Boohoo.

But perhaps I'm being unfair. After all, Barney is, by far, the best character drawn up in the book.

And the sci fi plot - if it can be called a plot - is terrible. The aliens (predictably, the new guys who come along) are so hip and with it, which means they just can't talk normally. Since they're oh so smarter than us Earthlings, they use big words. The result? Bad dialogue abounds. And it never ends.

Oh, and did I mention that this game of "Interstellar Pig" is going to destroy the universe?

This book is absolutely boring. The first couple of chapters are by far the best -- and then it gets worse. The characters are horribly drawn up, the plot sucks... it just sucks. I'm not sure how good the ending was -- I think the universe blows up. But by that time, you are wishing that the universe didn't blow up sooner.

Never read this book. Ever.

0/10 stars

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When one is highly alert to language, then nearly everything begs to be a poem.
— James Tate