z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Forgotten Bench

by SkyVibes


The trees still echoed the years old laughter, from both young and old who sat there. The trees whispered the secrets that were shared on that old bench. The beautiful flowers around it displayed each goodbye kiss that was shared there. In the late afternoon the trees allow the sun’s grace to display the forgotten bench, and yet still hidden behind the bark walls around it.

While at first glance the old bench would seem forgotten, crippled, and rotting, but rather it holds much life as if is stuck in its own time bubble. The vegetation has thrived around over the many years since the last visitor came. Bushes and flowers protect this precious timepiece from damage and the demolition next door. The only visitor it sees now is its neighbor, the deer, who walks on her usual engraved path every morning with her little fawn.

One wonders what secrets the trees hold. Who planted all the orchids, lavender, delphinium, and daisies that decorate the bench and encase it in a sweet perfume. Perhaps it was Mr. and Mrs. Robin or the pecky Blue jay. Maybe it was the little hedgehog as it sought shelter under the old wood seat, sharing the seeds as thanks.

Whatever the case, the bench still stands. Forgotten but thriving. Living, not dying. Not crippled but standing.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
59 Reviews

Points: 5354
Reviews: 59

Donate
Stickied -- Sun Aug 18, 2024 10:52 pm
View Likes
SkyVibes says...



This is a short narrative of my painting titled "Forgotten Memories". It was inspired by a hiking trail I walk sometimes and Studio Ghibli.




User avatar
32 Reviews

Points: 4714
Reviews: 32

Donate
Mon Aug 19, 2024 9:15 pm
Seoyoung wrote a review...



Hi hi!

This is so stunning! I'm not sure where to even start!

The descriptions are so strong! The trees, flowers, and the old bench... it's so beautifully vivid! I feel like I'm right there, experiencing everything that's happening. All of the sensory details are perfect, too! The "sweet perfume" of the various different flowers is perfect. It's hard to create something so full of life, but you did it in only a few paragraphs! You have a real talent for capturing beauty.

I love the personification of the trees and the bench as well! The idea of the bench being stuck in its own time bubble is really compelling to think about. I never thought about it that way, but I get it! There's a lot of underlying metaphors for something bigger here. Maybe how humans abandon nature in favor of industry? The bench is old and rotting, but it's still loved by nature. I could see many meanings!

Though, maybe you could consider expanding on its life and secrets to add more depth. The bench is quite old, so it has witnessed a lot! For instance, you could allude to different people that have walked by, or one of many conversations it has overheard. Something like that would be fitting I think!

This is great though! I definitely see the Studio Ghibli vibes you mentioned. The painting itself is amazing, too! You're a great artist! There is something so nostalgic and reflective about both of them alone, but when combined, there is even more to ponder. The passage of time can be scary sometimes, but this makes it feel easier to think about. That isn't easy to do with so little words!

Reading this was such a journey! Like I said, a gorgeous one! :>

~ Seoyoung




SkyVibes says...


Thank you so much for all the comments! One thing that's stuck with me with my English college courses is to use as many senses as you can when it comes to description so since learning that, I would like to say my writing has improved. Your comments support that and I'm so very thankful for you to take the time to read my little narrative!

I do want to go back and add some of the memories that the little forest would look back on. Unfortunately when I was writing this I didn't have enough time to do so. When I have the chance to go back and add some more details, I can tag you if you would like.
And thank you for the comments on my painting! It's one of my favorites and I wanted a way to share it with all the people on YWS!
Thank you again for reading!
Soar high and keep writing,
-Sky



User avatar
643 Reviews

Points: 63963
Reviews: 643

Donate
Mon Aug 19, 2024 4:20 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



Hello Sky!! Wow, this is absolutely beautiful. I love how you combined your own painting with this description. The narrative style is wonderful. I found it to be so rich in details and descriptions, which made me really feel like I am walking path and perhaps sitting on the bench, watching this beautiful scene around me.

While at first glance the old bench would seem forgotten, crippled, and rotting, but rather it holds much life as if is stuck in its own time bubble. The vegetation has thrived around over the many years since the last visitor came.


This really gave me the same vibes as "the secret garden". Not sure if you have read that book, but it reminded me of that beautiful garden, and how it is lasted all that time without inhabitants. In this narrative, I love the contrast between what you see at first glance, and what is actually there. When you first see it, it might seem like it's rotting, well actually, it is maintained itself as if it is stuck in this little bubble of itself. I love that, and I feel like it can be symbolic of a lot of people in life too. We can be so quickly to judge by an external appearance, we don't take a look at what's actually there. I love how you can convey this through painting, and through a narrative. You are so incredibly talented!

Whatever the case, the bench still stands. Forgotten but thriving. Living, not dying. Not crippled but standing.


You come back to this topic again at the end. I love the contrasting words that you use, like forgotten, but thriving. It's almost like a person who is unseen and unnoticed in the world, but they still have so much strength to go on and press for it on their own. Sometimes it's the quietest, and most lonely people that often finish last, but accomplished the most, and grow the most too. I absolutely love this. Your painting is phenomenal. I love your ability to differentiate all of the different colors of leaves and how everything blends into the bench in the path. Fantastic work, keep painting, and keep writing!

Your friend,
Ellie




SkyVibes says...


Hi Ellie!
You have no idea how happy it makes me to see others notice the description. The college courses are paying off!
I have no read the book but I have watched the movie and I guess I can see a comparison to it! Very Fascinating thought you had! That sentence is actually my favorite sentence in the narrative, isn't that weird?
And thank you for commenting on my painting! It's one of my favorites that I wanted to share with YWS! Thank you for reading my little narrative!
Soar high and keep on writing!
-Sky




GET ON IT PEEPS
— Nate