Young Writers Society

Frost Lark News 2/5/17

By Skyla Holt

"New Co-Mayor"

As of Wednesday, February first, Frost Lark now has Katherine Reeds as Co-Mayor. I'm sure everyone reading is well aware, because there was a huge celebration, as big as the one that ocurred after Mayor Clayton and former co-Mayor Harvey were inaugurated. Co-Mayor Reeds has been a member of the board of education for seven years, the most of all three members, and thus has many great ideas to improve schooling in Frost Lark. The first of which being add more members to the board of education, and to have their decisions take priority over the group of sentient frogs also in charge of running the school system.

"Frost Lark Flag"

Remember last week? When I said Frost Lark would be rebelling against the Bivoclar Lizards? Forget that. We are definitely not rebelling. Why would we? The Bivoclar Lizards are perfect rulers who dictate and approve every action our Mayor and co-Mayor suggest. So, don't doubt the Bivoclar Lizards, because they do everything perfectly. Also, they'll hunt you and your family, should you ever show disapproval of them, and they will torture you in grotesque ways that no one should ever undergo. However, they did approve our choice to make a Frost Lark flag... Currently it will be light blue with a white snowflake in the center. Remember to leave those suggestions!

"Social Relationship Advisory"

We at Frost Lark News have a few tips on what not to do so that you can remain socially in touch. We present celebration edition!

-Never be late to your own funeral

-Don't ask who died at a wedding

-Don't bring a birthday cake to a funeral

-Don't call the police when they sing Happy Birthday

-Never send a "Thank You" card in place of an "I'm Sorry For Your Loss" card

-Don't bring baby shower gifts to a Sweet 16.

This has been Social Relationships Advisory.

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You look up and see the moon. (Fun Fact, that's a big rock.) Oh, how beautiful. (Fun Fact, that's an opinion.) Shining with such a majestic silver light. (Fun Fact for colorblind people, silver is similar to white. Hope that helps.) It has been hit with millions of asteroids and is covered with blemishes, yet it still is admired for its looks. (Fun Fact, the current count of asteroids that have hit the moon are 1,940,393,374,220,485.) So, don't let imperfection stop you from believing you are beautiful. (Fun Fact, this is written with Header 5, not Bold.) Your are beautiful, and you can't let society say otherwise. (Fun Fact, this message was brought to you by National Geographic.)

Survey Time. What color do you think Mars is?

a) Well, it's called the red planet, so...

b) It's Trademarked, wouldn't want to get a copyright strike.©

c) Blue, duh.

d) You humans couldn't pronounce it.

e) Exclamatory Remark!

"New Co-Mayor" (continued)

Mayor Clayton and co-Mayor Reeds have decided to focus their attention on two issues. The first is defeafing the Bivoclar Lizards that won't let me mention them in a negative way in any given print (they are fabulous. There, I said something nice). The second is the huge depression our town has fallen into. I hadn't noticed it, since it began whilst I was in that coma, but there is a horrible depression affecting most of everyone in town. The third issue is... Wait, a third? The third issue is getting Skyla to call them by their first names. Now readers, calling someone of high importance by their first name is very inappropriate, should you ask me. And so, I refuse to do it. Take that, Orlando and Katherine!