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The Silent Victim

by Shayna Basu

Sulking in the corner 

Tears flowing from my eyes 

I heard them murmur 

About me ,making up rumors 

I was a  victim of a serious crime 

Of bullying and painful mime 

Day in and Day out I hear 

Their incessant pestering chimes 

Stressed and messed up

I cant sit still but shiver 

clutching the bench beside 

Mind rovers like wild river 

Mocking hurting ,killing 

My inner self esteem  

Bullying created  a putrefying heart

No way will it again gleam 

Deep down inside of me 

My soul shattered into thousands of pieces 

And i wonder in it 

If i can find once again peace 

I became i shadow of my own 

Filled with fear and unknown

Everything seemed gone 

My purpose and laughter 

Nothing came thereafter

However time shall reconcile it all 

Wound deep down will heal as final call 

I know i could sail to success and be a dazzling star 

Happiness will beckon me and its not so far

Bullying has made me much stronger 

You and your words matter no longer

I can stand up with courage in my mind 

Past troubles no more and present is kind 

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32 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 32

Tue May 25, 2021 12:24 am
TheWarriorMingan wrote a review...

Hi, Shanya Basu!

First of all, I love your poem. I felt hope in it.

BTW, I caught a small typo, here: About me ,making up rumors. Just close up the space between 'me' and the comma, then add a space between 'making' and the comma. Then a very small typo in the next verse. (You just double-spaced.) Then one more comma problem on the 13th line, the same as the last one. You didn't capitalize all the "I"s, but some poets make that part of their style.

I hope you don't take me for rude for correcting so much!

Once again, I loved the poem. The pictures are a nice touch. ;)

User avatar
27 Reviews

Points: 184
Reviews: 27

Mon May 24, 2021 8:44 pm
FourLeafClover wrote a review...

Hey there! I'm here to review your work!

Okay, so, first order of business: You did really well on it! Here's how:
1. Your topic was a really important topic to be talked about. Lots of people are bullied around the world, and usually the only way they are told to handle it is "Step up! Don't be a bully or a bystander! Be an upstander!" Yes, it is important to be an upstander, and it is important to not bully or just stay to the side, but what people actually need to hear is a story from somebody who was bullied and how they would handle it, which you did. You didn't show just the bullying, and you didn't show just the part where you got better, so you kept a much-needed balance.
2. You mostly used proper grammar, which is good, because there are a lot of grammar police around. Also, grammar is important because sometimes people only focus on grammar issues and not the actual content. Because of your (mostly) good grammar, people will stay on track while reading.
3. You used pictures and words to show what happened. This is good for both visual learners and... um... I forgot the word, so I'll go with non-visual learners.... They'll both be able to understand what happened, which is great!

Now, for the cons.
I did mention that the grammar was only mostly good, so there are some issues with that, but not many. I noticed that when you said "Mocking hurting ,killing," and "However time shall reconcile it all," you needed more commas. It should read "Mocking, hurting, killing," and "However, time shall reconcile it all. I also noticed multiple times you forgot to capitalize the pronoun "I."
Other than the few grammar issues, you did amazingly!

I hope you have a great day!

— Cow