even i don't trust me

Hey Shady! I've been eyeing this incredible poem for a while now, so I thought I'd try to give you a review!

Gosh, Shady, this poem is very relatable. I'm so sorry you're going through these feels. But in true fishmaster form, you've blown me out of the water pun very much intended with how eloquently you've expressed the angst <3

There's so much to unpack in this poem, so I think I'm going to stick mostly to visual elements and give some more in-depth thoughts on those, rather than giving more diluted thoughts on every element of the poem. Hopefully it proves helpful!

So to dig right in! The blue background combined with the white font reminds me a bit of your other poem, "sinking.", though the dark blue vignette makes this one feel a bit heavier to look at, if that makes sense. To me it looks like the centre is floating on the surface of the water but the corners are being dragged down. (Presuming it is water, that is - it also gives me some computer-tech-graphic vibes with the more pixelated regions. Perhaps that wasn't intended and the background just isn't super high-resolution, but I actually like the effect -> perhaps the narrator feels like they're drowning in part because of technology / the internet.)

Another big visual element, like I mentioned above, is the fonts! Changing fonts between lines can have the really cool effect of adding mini streams-of-thought within the bigger whole of the poem. For example, when you use the SKINNY ALL-CAPS font, all those lines are about being lost:

BUT I'VE MISPLACED MY FOCUS

GUESS I'LL KNOW WHEN WE GET THERE

HAVE I REACHED MY FINAL DESTINATION?

(why can't i have those bounds; stability?)

(am i crazy?)

am i even sure i ever had it all?

i n s a n e.

or an intemperance between both poles:

that shatter my soul into onto unkempt fields.

that's stayed jumbled since my first breath;

Hey there, stygianmoon for a review <3
This will be organised in three parts, my impressions before reading, as I read, and then an overall. So. My first impressions.

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First impressions are like the first date with a guy: the first words, the first way you look, the way you dress, the way you speak- all those will determine your everlasting impression on that guy. And let me tell you this, your poem has a phenomenal first impression.

First off, the background. The letters. The white contrast on blue. It's absolutely gorgeous.

And the way you structures your sentences give this sometimes flowey, sometimes rigid, but mostly all over the place structure- and that's exactly what thoughts are.

And since the title is "even I don't trust me", even tho I haven't read the poem yet, I'm pretty sure it's about thoughts and everything that goes on in our heads.
So overall, a 10/10 for the first impression

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while I read, there's nothing I really noticed that just stuck out, well except for
"that's stay jumbled", you don't need to add the 's, just say "that stay jumbled''

since 's replaces the word has, otherwise what you would be saying is "that has stayed jumbled", but since it's in the present tense, it should be something like "that have stayed jumbled", so if you want to keep that suffixe (or prefix, I keep mixing those two up), it should be something like "that've stayed jumbled"

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Sooooooo
wow
What can I say
Outstanding poem, like always,
I really have nothing to say, it's impeccable, the flow of thoughts worked very well, the fonts have been chosen carefully and god can I imagine what a pain it must have been to put them this way.

I just felt like the last line, INSANE, was a bit out of place.

My first theory was that you put it there meaning it was the title, and it's at the end because, as you said, your thoughts are all jumbled up. But maybe putting more space between that line and the other one would've made it stand out more. Yeah actually, that's my only theory. But if you meant it as a final line, adding some words would make it less out of place.

Have a nice day (or night) <3

I'm sorry that you felt this way when you were writing this poem, but this poem is absolutely beautiful. I love how you played around with the formatting and the font to express your feelings. <3 <3 Your poetry is always easy to read, but I really love how the font guided me through your emotions. I can't write a formal review for a poem this good, so I just wanted to leave a quick comment expressing how much I loved it!

I have nothing to say, Shady. Your angst is always admirable, and the way you put that into poetry never fails to capture that. Just want to say that I hear you, and I hope you resolve and make peace your angst in the best of ways, as you always do! :)

Love,
Arc