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12+ Violence

Freakshow | Countryhumans AU

by SavageRaptor109


Firewood

America sat on his back porch; Alaska sat in his lap licking his popsicle. Texas ran around the yard playing tag with Idaho and Vermont. California sat with Alabama and Washington in a circle licking popsicles of their own. Montana sat next to America on a chair with ice cream on his face. America smiled and gave Montana a towel to wipe his face with. He got up and set Alaska on his chair patting his head before walking inside. He heard his kids laughing from outside.

America opened a cabinet and pulled a plastic cup out. He closed the cabinet and walked over to the sink. Turning on the tap, he put the cup under the flow of water, filling it halfway and then turning off the tap. He took a drink, and then he heard a scream come from the backyard. America dropped the cup down and rushed outside. When he got outside, he saw Alabama and Washington holding onto California, who was passed out on the ground.

America ran over to California; he touched her carefully. Her skin was burning to the touch. America picked her up carefully in his arms. Maryland and Massachusetts knew something was wrong. The both of them called all their siblings over to him, their siblings came while America walked inside quickly with California still in his arms. America hurried to his car, putting California into the backseat and buckling her in. He climbed into the driver's seat and then he started the car and started to drive to the hospital.

Hawaii, the youngest of the 50 children, was scared and shaking a bit along with Alaska, Arizona, and Idaho. Maryland grabbed his phone and called Pennsylvania. He told him what happened and asked him to come to help take care of the younger siblings. Massachusetts picked up Hawaii and held her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, Massachusetts felt bad for his younger sibling. Massachusetts sat down with Hawaii in his arms, the young state had started to cry a little.

Pennsylvania showed up with New Jersey and Georgia, who were kind of shocked to hear what had happened. New Jersey picked up Idaho and hugged him. Pennsylvania picked up Alaska, and Georgia picked up Arizona. They all went inside with their siblings, Maryland held Hawaii close the whole time.

America arrived at the hospital, parking and looking at California. Red spots started appearing on her skin, her face showing that she was in pain. America unbuckled and got out, opening the door to the backseat. He unbuckled California and grabbed her in his arms, shutting the door and locking it. He rushed into the hospital and told the receptionist what had happened. She looked at California and called someone on the phone.

A doctor came out and told America to follow him, which he did without hesitation. He looked at California, who was now sweating and showing more pain on her face. The doctor led America to a room and pointed to an empty bed. America laid California down as the doctor asked America to go to the waiting room. America left, worried and scared. He reached the waiting room and sat in an empty chair.

He picked up his phone and called Pennsylvania.

“Hi dad.” Penn said as soon as answering.

“Hey Pennsylvania. Where are you right now?”

“I’m at home. Are you calling about Cali?”

“Yes. But who told you?”

“Maryland called me after you left with Cali. He asked me to come home to help calm down the rest of the states. I brought New Jersey and Georgia with me, since we were hanging out together. Is Cali, okay?”

“I don’t know. The doctor led me to a room and as soon as I laid Cali down, he asked me to go to the waiting room.”

“Poor California. At least you made it to the ER before anything too bad happened.”

America chuckled, “Yep. I’ll call you back when I get an update on Cali okay?”

“Okay. Bye dad!”

“Bye Penn.”

America hung up and put his phone in his pocket. He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

“Ame?”

America looked toward where the voice came from. Canada and New Zealand were standing at the doorway to the waiting room. They walked over to him.

“What are you doing here? Visiting a friend,” Canada asked.

“Not exactly,” America replied.

“Then who are you visiting?” New Zealand asked.

“I came here because one of my kids was hurt, or sick, I don’t know,” America said.

“Kids?” Canada sat down next to America.

“Remember? My States,” America said.

“Oh. But which one?” New Zealand asked.

“California. We were all in the backyard eating ice cream and playing around. I went inside to get a drink and I heard Cali scream. She was burning to the touch and had red spots on her arms.” America explained.

New Zealand sat down on the other side of America. America asked, “Why are you two here?”

“Aussie hurt her arm and we aren't sure if it’s broken so Dad took us to the hospital with him to get an X-ray. But when they see you here, they're going to be surprised,” New Zealand explained.

They sat there for a few hours when they heard footsteps. United Kingdom, or UK, walked into the waiting room with Australia, who had her arm in a cast and sling. She had broken her arm. He saw his three kids, sitting together in the room. New Zealand was asleep on America’s shoulder. America had his arm around New Zealand with his head leaning on his. His sunglasses were in his pocket and his eyes were shut; he was asleep as well.

Canada was leaning on his hand with his eyes shut, he looked to be falling asleep. UK walked over to the trio and put a hand on Canada’s shoulder. Canada’s eyes opened as he looked up to his father. He put his hand down as UK said, “So, did you call America and tell him what happened?” Canada shook his head, “No he was here when we got to the waiting room.” Australia walked over and shook America awake. He opened his eyes and leaded up but didn’t take his arm off New Zealand. “Hi Aussie,” he said in a tired voice. Australia smiled, “What are you doing here?” America explained what happened to Australia and the UK. UK woke up New Zealand and America’s family went home.

A doctor came in and motioned to America. America got up and walked over to him. “Are you America?” The Doctor asked. “Yes,” America answered, “Do you have news on my son?” The doctor nodded, “He should be fine, but he’ll have to stay here in the hospital for some time.” America sighed, “What happened to him?”

“It was some sort of strong fever and rash. It almost seemed as if he was in a fire, he’ll also have some trouble breathing for a while. His lungs reacted as if there was smoke in them.” “Can I see him?” The doctor shook his head, “I’m afraid not. He’s being monitored closely because while we were helping him, his heart stopped for a moment.” America’s eyes widened. Cali’s heart stopped. Is it really that bad, America thought.

He looked at the clock on the wall. It was 10:23 pm, he figured he should head home to get some rest. “Alright, do you need my phone number? Or anything before I leave,” America asked. “Yes, we will need your phone number.” America took out a piece of paper and wrote his phone number on it. He handed it to the doctor and walked out to his car. He got in and sat there. After a few minutes, he said, “If you're going to say something, just say it.”

In the passenger seat, a country sat there. As soon as America addressed him, he smiled.

He chuckled and then leaned back in the seat. Kicking his feet onto the dash.

“Are you going to your house? Or are we just going to sit in the parking lot?” He spoke.

America sighed and started the car. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. “Why did you come to the hospital? I thought you didn’t like me, or my states Confederate.”

“Well, do I have a choice? You're the only one that can see me, America.” Confederate was right, ever since he died America was able to see the ghosts of dead countries. He hated it, but he didn’t have a choice. Unless Confederate was somehow brought back to life, America was stuck like this. But he always had company when he was alone.

Ghosts

10 years later

America sat on his couch and read a book. He liked reading, it was a way to get his mind off of everything. He heard something, so he looked up from his book. Confederate walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Confederate was an old pal of America’s, but they fought during the civil war and America had to kill him. He regretted it and wishes he never had to kill Confederate. Confederate stood in the kitchen. America went back to reading.

“Don’t you have a meeting with the other countries today at six?”

America looked up at Confederate.

“Yes, I do. But why are you asking?”

“How long does it take to get there?”

“Half hour.”

“How long does it take you to get ready?”

“About 10 to 15 minutes.”

“Okay. Well it's 5:23.”

“What?”

America grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was 5:23. He tossed his book on the couch and got up. He went up to his room and opened his dresser. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. The T-shirt had, in big white words on the front, ‘Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my Freedom.’ He got dressed and walked to the bathroom.

He turned on the light and walked up to the sink. America crouched down and opened the cabinet under his sink. He pulled out a small container. He stood and set in on the counter, opening it. America looked inside.

Inside the small container were contact lenses. He didn’t need them for vision correction, but to change his eye color. Black to green. He pulled out one and carefully put it onto his eye. He blinked a few times and looked at his reflection. His right eye had contact on it. His eyes were a nice, forest green. His left eye had no contact. It was pitch black. He got the other contact and put it on his left eye. Now he looked normal.

He walked out, turning out the light. He grabbed his sunglasses, and a gray sweatshirt. He slipped into the sweatshirt, as soon as he had it on, he felt the pocket.

Empty.

He walked up to his room and grabbed his car keys. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed his Hydroflask out of a cupboard. He filled it up with water and ice. He turned, ready to go. He looked up and saw Confederate less than a foot away from his face.

“What?” America asked.

“You planning to go alone?” Confederate asked.

America smiled.

“Well… I mean I could go alone, but I wouldn’t have any company. Now will I?”

Confederate scoffed as America walked right past him.

America paused and turned his head.

“But company would be preferred.”

Confederate turned to him and smiled.

He ran past America and threw the closed front door. He was a ghost after all.

America walked outside, making sure to lock his door. He got in the car to see Confederate in the Passenger seat. "Ready?" He asked. America laughed. “Yes.” He started the car and drove off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

America sat in the Countryhumans meeting. He hated them. They were so boring and long. Ten more minutes until it was over.

"Oh, before I forget to ask," United Nations said, "Have any of you been getting any threats through text or email?"

America was confused. What is UN talking about?

"What do you mean UN?" Canada asked.

"Mexico told me he wouldn't be able to make it to the meeting today," He motioned to the empty seat underneath Mexico's flag, "he said he needed to talk to the police because he was getting threats on his texts and emails. He also asked me to ask all of you to check if anyone else was receiving them."

Seems like Mexico could use a friend's help. And comfort.

America nodded. He didn't say anything. No one, absolutely no one! knew he could see ghosts. He hid it the best he could. He has had a few close calls.

"Vell," a German accent said, "I need to go."

Germany stood from his chair.

"Why? ~" Russia asked from his right.

"Eh..." Germany adjusted his watch. "My students still have exams to do. It is still finals veek."

Germany worked at a medical school teaching kids about Countryhumans; in case they found themselves treating on of them.

Germany walked out and the meeting resumed for about 6 minutes then ended. As America walked to his car he heard his name.

"America!"

He turned to see Canada ruining up to him.

"What's up?" America asked when Canada got to him.

"You are coming over to Dad's Wednesday, right?"

"Yup!"

"Well, Maple," America called his brother by his nickname and ruffled up his hair, "I'm going to go see Mexico, he could use some friend support right now."

Canada giggled

"You two are so cute~" Confederate chuckled

America took his hand out of his brother's hair.

"See you later, Alligator" America said.

"In a while, Crocodile." Canada replied.

Canada left and America got in the car. He now wanted to have a conversation with Confederate.

"So~" America started. "Where were you during the meeting?"

"Behind you. I couldn't think of anywhere else to go."

America kept chatting with Confederate.

Meanwhile a figure dressed darkly holds a sniper. He sees America's car stop at a light. He looks with one eye and aims the sniper at America. The squeezes the trigger.

America stopped at a red light.

"IDAHO'S CALLED THE GEM STATE! NOT THE POTATO STATE!"

"THEN WHY IS HE SO FAMOUS FOR HIS POTATOES???"

The sound to breaking glass filled the car.

Confederate closed his eyes.

He opened them. Eyes wide.

America's window was shattered, and he was laying his head on the wheel.

"A-America? A-Are you o-okay?"

No response.

"A-America?"

Still no reply.

Confederate put a hand on his friend's back. His breathing was slow. Confederate started to panic.

"America! Wake up! If this is a prank it's not funny!"

Someone appeared at America's window and gasped. They yelled something but Confederate couldn't hear. All he could hear was silence. He fazed through his door and went around the car. The light was green, and people had gotten out of their cars. The person who had appeared at America's window opened his door and pulled him out.

America's eyes were closed, and his chest was moving up and down so slowly. He watched as the person checked America's pulse, fear showing on their face they yelled something again and two more gathered around America.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arizona sat on the couch watching tv. California was in the kitchen. The tv screen flashes as some says: "Breaking News!" Arizonia sighs. 

"Breaking News! Highway 54 has been closed due to what is believed to be attempted murder on a Countryhuman named America."

Arizonia perked up. Dad?

"Paramedics are on the seen treating the country. A bullet hole in his chest close to his heart. Witness say that his driver side window shattered when the bullet went into his car."

"CALI!" Arizonia screamed in fear. "COME HERE QUICKLY!"

Cali rushed in and saw Arizonia crying.

"Wha-"

Arizonia motioned to the tv.

California looked at the screen.

"I'm here at the scene of this crime. As you can see behind me is the victim's car and paramedics are urgently treating him.'

The camera zoomed in on America and Cali gasped.

"D-Dad?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confederate paced back and forward.

What will I do? What can I do? I-I'm just a ghost! I can't help Ame... Has anyone found out yet? Has anyone seen the news? I wish I could do more!

Confederate floated toward the ceiling. Pulling his knees up to his chest and putting his face in his hands.

"I-I can't help him..." He whispers. Confederate starts cry a little. Black tears rolling out of his left eye, normal tears out the right.

"GERMANY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING TO HELP MY SON?"

Confederate perked up and saw Brittian and Germany through the waiting room glass.

"B-Britian, I'm doing all that I can!"

"THEN WHY IS MY SON STILL DYING?"

"He got shot close to his heart! It's a miracle he didn't die when he got shot!"

Confederate listened to the two.

He got a sudden pain in his chest, America's pain. Confederate screamed in pain and grabbed his chest. Closing his eyes.

"D-Did you hear that?" Germany looked into the waiting room.

"Hear what?" Britian was still mad.

"I heard someone scream..."

Confederate breathed heavily. And still clutched his chest. He opened his eyes and tried to calm himself. If I can still feel his pain. He's still alive. Confederate floated out of the hospital. HE got a headache and landed on the ground. Standing his face in his hands.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Confederate sighed, "Yes. Just a headache."

Confederate perked up. Wait. How can the see me? He looked over to where the voice came from. A country with a white and green flag with a dragon on it looked at him.

"You... You can see me?"

"Yes?"

Oh no. No no no NO!

Confederate started to panic. He turned and started running.

"Hey wait!"

Welsh stood there. He had just seen a country that looked like they were in pain. But they asked a weird question, panicked, and ran off.

"Welsh!"

Welsh turned and saw England walking toward him.

"Hi England!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I was walking, and I saw some country in pain, with his face in his hands. When I asked him if he was okay, he said yes. But then he asked me, 'You can see me?' I said yes then they panicked and ran off."

"Weird..."

"I know!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Arizona, Dad will be fine."

Arizona had his head in his folded arms. Cali sat next to him. All the States were on a Zoom call.

Almost all the states.

"How long does it take for Texas to get done working?" Colorado said.

Alabama was looking to his left, like he had seen something.

Georgia perked up.

"What's wrong Alabama?"

Alabama looked back at the computer screen.

"Oh, just have a weird feeling. Like someone I know is around."

Arizonia looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, like..." Alabama paused. "Like someone I knew is trying to tell me something or trying to get to me somehow."

"Weird," Idaho said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confederate sat in a forest agianst a tree. He was trying to recover from his shock.

How could that country see me? It... It's not possible. Me and America are-were, the only ones who could see ghosts. Did..

Did I become real agian?


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Tue Jun 06, 2023 3:18 pm
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NadyaStatham wrote a review...



Hey there,

I'm here to leave you a review!

Image

First of all, I must say that this was an absolute fantastic piece. I love the fact that you chose America and its states as the main topic. I had never read something like this before and I think this is totally dope! Great job! I really enjoyed reading this and it was so well written. <333

~~~
This is such a great opening! I love the introduction, it seems all so peaceful and sweet. Everyone with their popcicles and in their vacation house, so chilly willy. I really liked it.

The build up to the part were Cali passed out is nice and diligently written. The story conveys the countries very nicely and I really like the idea of doing that.

America ran over to California; he touched her carefully. Her skin was burning to the touch. America picked her up carefully in his arms. Maryland and Massachusetts knew something was wrong. The both of them called all their siblings over to him, their siblings came while America walked inside quickly with California still in his arms. America hurried to his car, putting California into the backseat and buckling her in.

So over here you write that Cali is a girl right. That's okay. I'm going to come back on this one over here.

What about over here?
A doctor came in and motioned to America. America got up and walked over to him. “Are you America?” The Doctor asked. “Yes,” America answered, “Do you have news on my son?” The doctor nodded, “He should be fine, but he’ll have to stay here in the hospital for some time.” America sighed, “What happened to him?”

“It was some sort of strong fever and rash. It almost seemed as if he was in a fire, he’ll also have some trouble breathing for a while. His lungs reacted as if there was smoke in them.” “Can I see him?” The doctor shook his head, “I’m afraid not. He’s being monitored closely because while we were helping him, his heart stopped for a moment.” America’s eyes widened. Cali’s heart stopped. Is it really that bad, America thought.


How did Cali just turn into America's son over here? I am so confused. For the question now, is Cali supposed to be a female or a male?

~~~
All of this went so peaceful, but I would suggest maybe create some conflict or challenge on the way towards the hospital or something when they arrived. This can heighten the tension in your story and it will make readers feel more engaged to the story.
~~~

Confederate:
I think it is great to add him in the story. However he could use some more character development for those who don't know him. Consider adding more depth in the conversation between him and America or else it feels a little lonely.

How can America see ghosts? I wonder.....
Consider adding some explanations on how America can see the ghosts of the dead. Maybe also why doesn't he like it or sees it as a burden.

~~~

Spoiler! :
I am so happy Cali is alright. It would have been so sad, if he/she had died.


<333
"You two are so cute~" Confederate chuckled

America took his hand out of his brother's hair.

"See you later, Alligator" America said.

"In a while, Crocodile." Canada replied.


Confederate is right.
This is indeed very cute.

It is probably my favourite piece in the entire story. I love that you added the sibling-relationship in the story. It makes your story more relatable and more lively.

~~~

GHOSTS
10 years later

America sat on his couch and read a book. He liked reading, it was a way to get his mind off of everything. He heard something, so he looked up from his book. Confederate walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Confederate was an old pal of America’s, but they fought during the civil war and America had to kill him. He regretted it and wishes he never had to kill Confederate. Confederate stood in the kitchen. America went back to reading.


I did think over here it was a bit abrupt. In the first part you talked about Cali fainting and him having some sort of sickness but now you just shift over to America ten years later.

Clarify your coherence: Even though this piece is nicely written, it does not really flow smoothly. The reader was just reading about Cali in trouble and the shift over to the ten years can be made smoother.

~~~

So basically America is Brittains son. Thats nice.

~~~

America kept chatting with Confederate.

Meanwhile a figure dressed darkly holds a sniper. He sees America's car stop at a light. He looks with one eye and aims the sniper at America. The squeezes the trigger.

America stopped at a red light.

"IDAHO'S CALLED THE GEM STATE! NOT THE POTATO STATE!"

"THEN WHY IS HE SO FAMOUS FOR HIS POTATOES???"

The sound to breaking glass filled the car.

Confederate closed his eyes.

He opened them. Eyes wide.

America's window was shattered, and he was laying his head on the wheel.

"A-America? A-Are you o-okay?"

No response.

"A-America?"

Still no reply.

Confederate put a hand on his friend's back. His breathing was slow. Confederate started to panic.

"America! Wake up! If this is a prank it's not funny!"

Someone appeared at America's window and gasped. They yelled something but Confederate couldn't hear. All he could hear was silence. He fazed through his door and went around the car. The light was green, and people had gotten out of their cars. The person who had appeared at America's window opened his door and pulled him out.

America's eyes were closed, and his chest was moving up and down so slowly. He watched as the person checked America's pulse, fear showing on their face they yelled something again and two more gathered around America.


I really like this scene. It is as if someone was hired, some asassin, to take America out. I wonder if Germany is some sort of Backstabber over here or was is Russia. Who knows?

Improvement on the accident: This part could benefit from some more action and more "point of view" of America. I don't know if this was on purpose, but I think you have put too much attention to Confederate instead of America. Add some more sensory details to America. Try to put him in the spotlight and place the show on him.

~~~

I think you did an extravagant job on the whole scene of the worried Children. I am glad that you mentioned that Cali is fine now, but I do think it would be better if you mentioned it a little bit earlier.

Nice job!

~~~

Mega-cliffhanger:

Confederate sat in a forest agianst a tree. He was trying to recover from his shock.

How could that country see me? It... It's not possible. Me and America are-were, the only ones who could see ghosts. Did..

Did I become real agian?


Woow...Cliffhanger over here. I really liked the end. It is so captivating and keeps the reader wondering what will happen next. Amazing job!

~~~

Overall, I really hope this is not the end. I dont know if you are going to make a serie out of it, but I really enjoyed. Since this is my first time reading about Countryhumans, it is probably not going to be the last. You have inspired me! You writing style was nice and diligent with a touch of boldness in there. I love the personalities you have created for each of the characters and I think you did awesome.

Keep writing! You are amazing! Have a nice day or night!

Countrilly yours,
Rinisha




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Wed May 17, 2023 7:45 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I heard of Countryhumans before, but I’m not really in the fandom. However, this AU is really interesting! Is Confederate really coming back to life or have the other countries gained the ability to see ghosts? Will America survive? Who knows? It’s nice of Massachusetts to comfort Hawaii. That one moment was sweet. I think that I might look more into Countryhumans lore.

I wish you a fantastic and lovely day/night.





Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.
— Henry Wu, "Jurassic World"