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Roses are red Violets are blue

by SadboyJay


Roses are red,

violets may be blue

just know the queen is looking for you
she has come over sea
hoping you will agree
she needs a new king
he needs to be here by next spring


Oh no!
Halloween
a day of frights
kids scream for this night
for alleys will be cold
but that's only if your bold


so, grab the queen of roses
she may give you a fright
but truly she is a delight
sweet as honey i must say
won't even be surprised if she is with the bees

Halloween is her day
Join the madness and she will obey

Roses are red
violets may be blue
its halloween night
what a fright!!


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430 Reviews


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Sat Oct 23, 2021 10:38 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I enjoyed reading this poem!! I think your images were really nice in this poem. I especially liked the "alleys will be cold" part; I thought that was a nice aspect of Halloween to focus on, and it helped build up that scary scene. That part about how the queen must be with the bees was also really nice imagery/metaphor. I think the characterization it gave to the queen was quite lovely.

One thing I noticed was your rhyme scheme. I think it was a touch too inconsistent. In the first stanza, you've got a standard ABB pattern, but then you switch to an AABB pattern. Then, as the poem goes on, you abandon rhymes altogether. I think that by establishing clearer stanzas and establishing a rhyme right off of the bat, you could avoid that jerky flow of the poem throughout the inconsistent rhyming.

The narrative throughout this poem was also a bit hard to follow. You started using the ages old poetry beginning "roses are red, violets are blue" and then start talking about a queen looking for a king, before going into Halloween. I thought the topic switches were a little abrupt. I think I would first start out by establishment the queen's connection to Halloween and then delving deeper into her search for a king. I think it could be interesting to play around with the order of topics within the poem, just to see if there's a clearer way of conveying the narrative.

One thing I also wondered about was whether you could have incorporated the poetry into the image somehow. I love the addition of the rose to the poem; I think it adds a nice little visual element, but it also feels slightly random. It's also a very big image (I know knowing the size of images online can be hard.) If you formatted this outside of the website, it might be better. I would have also loved to maybe see the poetry superimposed on the rose, or the poetry in the shape of a rose. I'm all for visual effects in poetry, and I'm curious what else you could do besides putting a picture of a rose in.

Specifics

but that's only if your bold


Tiny thing here: "your" should be "you're."

its halloween night


Another small thing: "its" should be "it's."

Overall: nice work! I think your poetry is coming along nicely, and I look forward to reading more of your work! Until next time!!




SadboyJay says...


i had a long weekend so but thank you



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Sat Oct 23, 2021 3:59 pm
Caiteb says...



Heya its your friend Caite here with a review, I love this. The tone is amazing very perky. I just overall love this. It made me smile so big. Great job with the lines. Its nice to see a turn on a very old saying. Hope you have a wonderful day or night.




SadboyJay says...


thanks



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Thu Oct 21, 2021 4:43 pm
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vampricone6783 says...



Cool poem! This gives me “Alice in wonderland” and Tim Burton vibes.This was fun and wholesome to read.My favorite lines in the poem were:”Roses are red,violets may be blue.Just know the Queen is looking for you.” This makes it sound more like a fairytale.I thought it was a fun poem to read.I hope you have a good day/night.




SadboyJay says...


its not a fairytale it's about queenmadrose





I know.But it just gives me those vibes.



SadboyJay says...


Don't forget to Like my poem may you share my poem on your wall ??





Sure.





I didn%u2019t know how to share,so I just mentioned it.
Is that alright with you?



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Thu Oct 21, 2021 1:58 am
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TheWordsOfWolf wrote a review...



Hi hello good morning, good evening, good afternoon and goodnight, Wolf here to review this.
First thoughts: I ship it. (just kidding! kind of...)
THIS WAS SO SWEET this was adorable. Your poem is so thoughtful I can see you put your heart into it, it was absolutely delightful to read.
The rose you added at the end is a nice touch as well.
Very very nice work on this




SadboyJay says...


Thanks and i just write what i feel



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Wed Oct 20, 2021 11:07 pm
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QueenMadrose says...



I love how you say I give out a fright but I'm a true delight. Favorite line of All!<3333




SadboyJay says...


Thank you Ari i love Roses and that includes you @QueenMadrose



QueenMadrose says...


<333 but for real what inspired you to do a poem about me?



SadboyJay says...


your poetry be so nice rose i don't know what to say about your poem rose but i love yours



QueenMadrose says...


Aww, thank you!!




Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
— George Eliot