Hello Rose!
Who doesn't love/hate Netflix, depending on the day and the mood? Your choice of topic is imaginative and attention-grabbing, as well as having a wide appeal.
I have a few critiques of your writing style and a couple of grammar mistakes to point out.
The piece begins in the present tense but soon after changes to the past tense. Even though technically there is a transition in your piece, making the change permissible, I found it jarring and it drew me out of the story. For a work of this nature, I recommend using the past tense throughout.
The sun is nowhere to be seen anymore and the darkness took over. Owls with big eyes on trees, dogs sleeping, plants all calm and sweet, the wind that sings a nice melody. Beautiful and quiet as everything should be.
The second sentence in this paragraph (first of the piece) is incomplete and the paragraph itself is a bit clunky. I'd recommend reworking it slightly. For example:
The sun was nowhere to be seen and darkness had taken overtaken the day. Owls with big eyes settled in the lower branches of the trees, dogs curled up on their mats, and the fragrant flower furled their blossoms against the approach of night. The wind sang a gentle melody through the rustling leaves.
Beautiful and quiet, as all should be.
I took a few creative liberties (please forgive), but you should rework the paragraph in your voice.
It is a beautiful, though short work. You have definite talent in crafting words to tell your story and a gift for choosing your topic well. I look forward to seeing more from you!
Christus Rex Est,
Pickled Chrissy
Points: 2816
Reviews: 125
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