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Everyone together

by Rose

Everyone has their own way of talking

Everyone has their own way of walking

Everyone has their own mindset

Everyone has things they regret

Everyone is different in their own way

Not everyone is born in the month May

If you think that you're different, then you may be right

Because everyone thinks differently and has their own fight

But together we can do so much more

Than just opening an impenetrable door

We don’t have to fight all alone

We don’t have to go through all that pain on our own

If we just appreciate each other

If we just care for one another

We could do it all together

Because that’s all that matters

It could be really great all together

Together forever

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1227 Reviews

Points: 145075
Reviews: 1227

Fri May 26, 2023 2:42 pm
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alliyah says...

Such a sweet poem! Hope to read more of your work soon. :)

Rose says...

Thank you!

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122 Reviews

Points: 1150
Reviews: 122

Sat Apr 29, 2023 1:33 pm
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GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

This poem is simple, but it gets its message across nicely. It is a poem about how, despite our differences, the world would be a better place if everyone was there to support one another. I think this message is very relevant to the current generation and I know many people who could use a message like this!

However, there was one like that I feel does not flow with the rest:

Not everyone is born in the month May

I know it was meant to rhyme with the previous line, but it just feels too specific for this poem’s theme.

Keep up the good work!


Rose says...

TYSM! I appreciate your feedback and thoughts on my poem.

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214 Reviews

Points: 13515
Reviews: 214

Fri Apr 28, 2023 9:47 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...

Hey, there! I see you're contributing to the world of poetry! Well, here goes my review.

The topic/theme of this poem is very distinct, and the content of the poem stays consistent with that theme throughout the whole piece. You've done well with keeping things clear and on track. It also seems to flow well from one thought to another.

I appreciate the bottom line of what you've written and how you emphasize that everybody has different circumstances that they face, and while we may not always understand another's journey, it's important that we remember to support each other wherever we can.

I will say that you could work a bit on rhythm and flow, as far as the wording and feel are concerned. As I said above, the topic flows well, but rhythm-wise, it could perhaps use some more consistency. I myself find that getting the right rhythm in lyrical poetry can be a challenge, especially when there are very particular words, lines, or phrases you really want to include, so I will readily admit that finding the right balance can be a handful.

Well, thanks for sharing this piece, and keep up the good work! :)

Rose says...

Thank you for your feedback!

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125 Reviews

Points: 2816
Reviews: 125

Sat Apr 22, 2023 6:03 am
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PickledChrissy wrote a review...

Hello Rose,

I think this is my third review of a work of yours! As always, it is a pleasurable read and I deeply enjoyed the simplicity of the texts. Your style is memorable and pleasing, as well as possessing a strong individuality that takes time to develop.

My only suggestion to improve on the piece is choosing stronger words. Your simplicity is beautiful, but you can retain that while improving on your imagery. The word hardest could be switched, as Mikatsune suggested, to impenetrable.

Christus Rex Est,

Pickled Chrissy

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34 Reviews

Points: 1446
Reviews: 34

Sat Apr 22, 2023 2:20 am
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Mikatsune wrote a review...

Hi, it's Mika here for a quick review!
So, this poem is a simple yet powerful message about unity and the strength of working together, which is nice! I like how you delivered a positive message! The use of rhyming throughout the poem adds a lyrical quality to the writing and gives it a nice flow and makes it easy to read. The message is clear and impactful, without being overly complicated! I really like the deep meaning of this poem. We can be together forever, if we cooperate with each other! Maybe you could consider using more vivid and descriptive language to make the poem more engaging and memorable. For example, instead of "hard" door, you could use "impenetrable" door or "fortress-like" door. And maybe you could add more imagery to enhance the poem's meaning! Just some ideas!

Overall, this was an enjoyable and well-crafted poem! Keep it up! have a great day/night/afternoon! Bye!

“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.”
— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince