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Keeper of Secrets

by Riellehn


Keeper of Secrets

Keeper of Secrets, Keeper of Shame.

Keeping the Guilt made his leg go lame.

Keeper of Friendships, Keeper of Lies.

Keeping the Peace so nobody dies.

Keeper of Sadness, Keeper of Gloom

Keeping the Grief of all in the room

Keeper of Guises, Keeper of Masks

Keeping the Grin, and drowning in flasks

Keeper of Shadows, Keeper of Beasts

Keeping the Wolves away from their Feasts

Keeper of Secrets, Keeper of Shame

Yet nobody knows the Keeper's Name


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57 Reviews


Points: 548
Reviews: 57

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Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:16 am
1nspire wrote a review...



Hey, 1nspire here for a review!

I really liked the emotion in this piece. It seems to get progressively darker, which was cool because it showed how keeping secrets may not start out difficult, but overtime can build into something unthinkable. The rhyme scheme was great and the repetition allowed for great flow throughout the piece. While this isn’t relevant to the writing, I also really enjoyed the way that the stanzas were spaced, this added to the flow as well.

Amazing work, I look forward to reading more in the future!




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Thu Apr 18, 2019 8:54 pm
inkdreams says...



Hello I'm Inkdreams and here are my thoughts on this poem. This is a really good poem. First I like the structure and shape of the poem. I think you did a good job at rhyming in this poem. Secrets are hard to keep to yourself especially if they are bad secrets. I like this poem because it was kind of a surprise like it got darker as it progressed along .for example it starts out as keeper of friendships then changes to keeper of gloom ,keeper of lies. Good job and keep writing!




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Thu Apr 18, 2019 12:22 am
FabihaNeera wrote a review...



Hello,

This is a nicely-written poem! I think the lines flowed well together, and it had an air of mystery to it because we dont really know who this "keeper" is. I like how you repeated the lines "Keeper of secrets, keeper of shame" near the end to reinforce the idea.

I feel like this is somewhat TOO mysterious... I was a little confused on the ideas jumping around with the actions of this keeper. Like from the second line -though I don't really understand the comparison of his "leg going lame" - to keeping it so that nobody would die to the room to flasks, and so on...

These are just my thoughts... but they also do add to the mystery, so that's a plus. Anyway, really great poem! I enjoyed reading it.

Keep Writing :)




Riellehn says...


Thank you for the review!
To explain a bit, the lines weren't really meant to tell one continuous story (The wolves, room, flasks, etc aren't connected as any sort of story, just the different ways that keeping secrets has effected the "keeper"). As for the leg going lame, that bit was a bit personal.
But otherwise, thanks again for the review! I have a bit of a habit of being too mysterious :P



FabihaNeera says...


Well, that makes more sense, I really like the mystery Anyway! Your welcome :)



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95 Reviews


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Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:26 pm
4revgreen wrote a review...



Hey, Che here for a review!

First of all, forgive me if this is pretty lame review but It's currently 12:23am and I just got back from work (Babysitting) But I read this and really liked it so I wanted to tell you!

I really loved this poem! The way you began every line with "Keeper of" or "Keeping" and the way it rhymed made it flow really well. I like how it told a little story, and we grew to know the keeper without ever really knowing him.

Like I said, this is a pretty bad review but I'm practically asleep!

Keep writing!

Regards, Che :-)




Riellehn says...


Thank you for the review! Honestly, as long as people are reading my stuff and liking it, I don't mind tired reviews; we're all tired, after all!




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