Wesh! Professor Jade here with a review... Let's just do it!
She called to tell me her woes.
She seemed to think herself worthless,
And deserving of all the pain
That she could inflict upon herself.
This was sad, but honest. You said it how it is, which is bold. I like it! You drew my interest.
I told her to look around her,
And see all those who are willing to help.
All those who find worth in her,
And don't want to see her hurt.
I like how you alternate speech. She is on the left, you on the right. I also like the way you formatted it. Maybe in future give your characters name. It makes it more personal and heartfelt. If this is a true story, change the names!
Skipping to the verse before the end:
I told her when she felt these thoughts come,
That she should find someone.
That it didn't matter who that was,
That she just needed to find someone.
That was deep. Like, tears in my eyes. You put this so eloquently. *Claps*
Also, for the last verse. I loved the ending. I didn't see any spelling mistakes and I hope to see more of your work soon! Congrats once again and I hope this helps!
-Professor Jade
Points: 1578
Reviews: 232
Donate