Young Writers Society

Hello! Plume here, with a review!!

I really loved this piece. I'm not that big on coffee please don't attack me but this poem made me think twice. I think it probably captures reality for a lot of people, especially in the morning. I feel like this is probably what goes through everyone's head at Starbucks around 7 am every day.

One thing I absolutely adored was you rhyming scheme. It had a slam poetry vibe to it, and I just know it would sound amazing performed out loud. I don't think my inner voice did it justice. You utilize similar sounds and slant rhymes so well that it creates this rap-like piece that has a really great effect. It's absolutely superb. Some of my favorite lines were "a mug for my life, a penny for your thoughts, hah now i see you finally connect the dots" and "because you might be able to get through all the hard feels of the day without a mug at play but me i'm not stable to others dismay." (Speaking of which, others should be other's. I'm not sure if the lack of apostrophe was intentional or if it was a poetic choice, but I thought I'd just point it out either way.)

I honestly don't have very many critiques. I genuinely really loved this poem, and don't have much more to say other than you're a very talented writer and I wish you a multitude of coffee in your future.

Once again, stupendous poem!! I can't wait to read more from you!!

Oh I absolutely adore this (tho I may be biased as someone who also loves coffee). It's simple, light-hearted, and very fun to read!! Keep up the good work!!
I do wonder if you have a favorite kind of coffee? Like espresso drinks or just regular brewed coffee?

Heyo! This poem almost made me say "Yes ma'am, I'll grab you a coffee ma'am!" like a silly, little robot XD! Anyhow,

but at the end of yesterday

i needed it to survive

piles of work on my head

and chores and people too

it's always like that for me

i don't know about you

so yeah, when you disgrace

the taste

of coffee, I will spit in your face

and say don't bother me,

because you might be able

to get through all the hard feels

of the day without a mug at play

but me i'm not stable

without my coffee

the devil's on parade

i just get so stressed

and I feel the fade

as my little soul, shrivels away

i need this drink to keep my faith in humanity

to keep demons at bay, who drive me insane

and if you think, you can give me

decaf or tea, then you should turn

away, very quickly, because without

caffiene you're just left with me

and i'm a bull i'll charge you

your thoughts, hah now i see

you finally connect the dots

i'm a mercenary and life is my target

i'll likely kill the hirer if i'm not

paid for it, coffee is jade

coffee is gold, now bartender

do as your told,

and get me another GLASS.

Hi QueenShadowGem!
OMG I really love this! I can totally relate to the whole coffee obsession. Coffee is life! I really like how the form of the poem just reflects a stream of consciousness and just a rambling idea and obsession of coffee. I think that it really suits the poem and the message. I also love all of the imagery and metaphors like "the devil's on parade". It makes the poem so much more vivid, so great job. I think the only suggestion I have would be to have a clear rhyme scheme because I noticed that there is some rhyme with the ending words but I couldn't find a consistent pattern and having that consistency might be nice but is totally optional. All in all, great job and I love the topic!

Oh dear! You can use this in a rap song in Keanu Reeves' voice >_> Well seeing your unconditional love for coffee, you really needed to have a poem like this dedicated for it. <3