by Nikhat Jonak
beauty that traps
peace of mind,
the mystical icicles
the splendid aura.
moon with it’s
in the woods,
the sun to glitter.
Hi!I really like this poem. The way you described everything felt kind of surreal, like when you personified the moon with its 'hands'. It's obviously short, but I feel like that was representative of how affection is sometimes short-lived. I don't know, that might just be me interpreting stuff weirdly. I just wanted to point it out, because it was really cool. The only thing that I think would improve your poem would be if you made the verses a little bit longer. Cutting them so short made it feel a little bit choppy to me. If you, say, grouped the first two lines together, the second two together, and so on, it might make it a little bit easier to read. Of course, that's just my opinion, you can ignore it if you want. And yeah! This poem was really good, I hope you keep writing more! -Rana Noodles
Hi! It's been a while since I did a review. This little verse invokes an unusual kind of imagery in my mind. I like it. There's nothing to nitpick here. It's a really good verse. I find it to be open to a hundred interpretations, though, but what came to my mind as I read it was the color blue and the word "love." A calm, serene and selfless love. No negative criticisms here. Good job!
I love the nature-related imagery used in this poem. The second half stands put to me especially. "Caressing hands" fits the "Affection" title very well.^^ Since this poem is rather short, I don't see much to critique. If I had to suggest something, perhaps you could take out the commas? Doing this will help the stanzas flow better, as this is a very short poem.Please keep writing.^^
Hello Nikhat Jonak, Katja here to review your poem! As with all of my reviews, please feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions I make, should you find them unhelpful. And a warm welcome to YWS! With that being said let us get into the review! Overall Thoughts I like your poem, though it was a little short. I admire the imagery you used to convey the theme of affections! Very beautiful imagery you have here.
The beauty that trapsThe peace of mind,
The beauty that trapsthe peace of mind, covers the mystical icicleswith the splendid aura.The moon with it’scaressing hands,halts in the woods,for the sun to glitter.
The moon with it’s
108,813 Literary Works • 579,524 Reviews